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Annabelle-Lee’s past

by vampricone6783


*I have a story under the folder “Some scary-ish stories” called “Annabelle Lee’s origin story-The town of Richardson.” The title is something like that.Now,reading the comments has encouraged me to make more of Annabelle-Lee’s past.That’s what this is.You can connect this story to the other one.I have Gacha Club designs on my wall.Enjoy!

"This town is all that we have.Take care of it,Annabelle-Lee."

"But,why is this place important?"

"It's where I met your mother and when I first learned I could see the paranormal."

"So I'm not imagining seeing Mommy?"

"No,you are actually seeing her.I am too."

"Listen to me,Anna.There will be paranormal entities in here,but most of them aren't dangerous except one."

"Which one?"

"A demon that goes by the name of Lucas.Lucas Ladouceur."

"Why is he a demon?"

"Because he's the one who killed all the ghosts that live there and it's likely that he might come for us,too.But we have to be strong.I'm going to protect you,because I love you and you're my daughter.But one day,I won't be here anymore-"

"You'll become either a ghost or an angel,like Mommy.You won't ever leave me-"

"-We can't do much to protect you.Not if we're dead.So you'll have to protect yourself one day."

"But that day won't come in a long time."

Annabelle-Lee Richardson held on to that memory,grasped control of it.Saved it in her heart.

That conversation happened when she was seven.Her Dad was telling her the truth about the town they had moved in,the Town of Richardson.How they had to stay there until the ghosts were freed.

It was just her and her Dad after her Mom died.

Years ago,Leona and Amelia Richardson died in a fire,in the very house Annabelle-Lee was standing in.Many more murders came later and it all tied back to her family.It all started with her family.

Her very own mother was trying to communicate with a ghost and the ghost had feverishly tortured her.

Her Dad told her how her Mom died when she was thirteen.He witnessed the whole thing,they were both trying to communicate with the ghost,to test their powers.The ghost was haunting their old house and they wanted to know why.Her Dad said that she used to speak to the ghost when she was three.She didn't remember that,though.

Probably because she was three.

When she turned seventeen,her Dad was about to give her the job of mayor,since he was retiring and she always wanted to be the mayor of the town,but when he was going to meet her in the living room-

-A ceiling chandelier randomly fell on his head.She saw who caused it to fall,too.

A demon man in a ringmaster outfit.The demon man was the same ghost who had haunted her house.It appeared that the man followed her everywhere.

Could the demon man really be Lucas Ladouceur? He matched the description and actions that her father gave her..

No.That was impossible.There was no way he was..really him..

A car pulled up in the driveway.The new family that was moving in.

The Charlotte family.That’s who they were.

Annabelle-Lee smiled to herself.They were perfect! Two young girls..if these two young girls fell in the hands of Lucas..they could die..and replace Leona and Amelia who haunted the house...her family would be free of being the "scary family." No one would be afraid of her anymore!

She thought she saw her parents smile down at her as she stepped outside to greet the family,but maybe that was her imagination.


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Fri Jun 10, 2022 10:12 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi again!

Another team tortoise review coming for you here :)

I'm glad you're delving into the past more of some of your characters. Sometimes I think that can get overlooked by using characters to further the plot but a lot of yours have really interesting backstories so I'm happy to see another one!

I really like the beginning, both as it establishes Annabelle-Lee's character and the setting, but also sets up the tone for the rest of the work.

"Why is he a demon?"

This felt like an odd question. Is she asking how he became a demon, or how he knows he's a demon? The response suggests the latter, but I wasn't sure.

It was just her and her Dad after her Mom died.

Years ago,Leona and Amelia Richardson died in a fire,in the very house Annabelle-Lee was standing in.Many more murders came later and it all tied back to her family.It all started with her family.

This felt like an abrupt jump, maybe you could soften the transition a bit.

-A ceiling chandelier randomly fell on his head.She saw who caused it to fall,too.

A demon man in a ringmaster outfit.The demon man was the same ghost who had haunted her house.It appeared that the man followed her everywhere.

I'd like to see this expanded on. This must have been a traumatic event for her and it feels like she barely reacts!

The only last thing for me is that I don't know why she jumped to the conclusion that the two girls could replace those that haunt the house and free her family. I think I need a little more explanation there. How does she know that will work?

Overall though, an enjoyable read!

Icy




vampricone6783 says...


She knows it will work because Leona and Amelia were two girls who have died.So why not Cassie and Avita?

I%u2019m definitely going to work on explaining more.

Thank you so much for reading.I%u2019m glad to see you liked it.



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Tue Jun 07, 2022 12:59 am
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Horisun wrote a review...



Hi! I hope you are having a wonderful day or night!
Right off the bat, your introduction gave me chills. I loved the interaction between Annabelle and her father, where he tells her he can see her mothers ghost too. The only suggestion I'll make there is that I wish there was a little more build up to it. I would have loved to have seen Annabelle be haunted by her Mothers ghost for a brief period (oof, that sounds wrong) and for her to keep it secret, believing it is just her grieving mind. Only for something to cause her to break, leading right into the fantastic scene you already have.
I do also wish a little more attention was given to her fathers death. It all felt rather 'nonchalant' I mean, come on, she just watched a malevolent ghost drop a chandelier on her dads head. I feel like she could have a slightly bigger reaction.
Other than that, I genuinely really enjoyed this! I've read a lot of the short stories you've already published here, and with every new work, you improve substantially! (And that's saying something; you were already a pretty darn good writer to begin with!) So, to sum it all up, keep on writing, and have an excellent day! :D





Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero