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12+ Violence Mature Content

Angelic Demon

by vampricone6783


*I have Gacha Club character designs on my wall. I hope that you all enjoy this story I made. :)



Chapter One

Once upon a time,there was a beautiful angel, who had long red hair and black inky eyes. Her name was Celestria and she was an angel from Heaven. She was only sixteen years old. She had an older and strict (but protective) sister named Evangeline.

Celestria had an ideal life.

But it wasn't the life that she wanted.

Every year, when an angel turned sixteen, there was a ceremony. A ceremony where an angel had the chance to become God's messenger angel. The angel would send messages to God from Earth. The messages would be Prayers.

Pretty boring, right? If an angel didn't get chosen in a ceremony, they would do janitor work and clean the halls of Heaven. (How else can Heaven stay clean?)

Evangeline was God's messenger angel and she believed that it was Celestria's turn now to take up the wing.

"Celestria, fix your hair. You have to look nice if you want to get chosen." She said.

Celestria rolled her eyes. Who cared about "looking nice"? Only a perfect angel would.

Being a perfect angel was boring.



Chapter Two

She decided that she should take a break from all of this preparation and hang out in her ro-

My, my. 

Celestria couldn’t believe her eyes.

There was her sister, her perfect sister, suspiciously stuffing letters in her drawer.

"Evangeline, what are you doing?" She asked.

Evangeline blushed.

"Nothing." She blurted. This was so unlike her.

Celestria raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you not telling me something?" She asked.

Evangeline gulped and accidentally dropped the letters she was holding. Celstria read one:

Dear Celestria,

You're such a wonderful angel and I have heard so much about you. My name is (you're going to have to find out on your own) and I am a demon from Hell. You will probably never see this letter, but I would really like to get to know you.

-Your shadow admiring you from afar.

There were a million more like it. It appeared that this shadow person heard about her and wanted to talk to her. Evangeline hid the letters from her!

"Why did you hide these from me?!" She asked.

"Because it's against the law for a demon and angel to be together, even to talk!" She yelled.

"What law? That ridiculous thing God said? That's not a fair law and I really want to see this person." Celestria said.

"This is outrageous! You don't even know who is giving you the letters!" She yelled.

"Exactly. This is because you were keeping them from me. I'm going to Hell and I'm going to talk to this demon." Celestria said.

"NO! Today is the day you do the ceremony for being God's message angel..."

But Celestria wasn't listening. She jumped in a portal to Hell.

"Ugh! This is terrible..." Evangeline weakly trailed off.



Chapter Three



Celestria flew down...down....all the way...to Hell.

Yes, it was a burning pit of flames and demons, but it looked a lot more exciting than it did in Heaven.

The demons around her were all big and red, with long black horns and yellow eyes, their tails were all short and pointy. They all looked like demons from fairytales.

But then a claw tapped her shoulder and she turned around.

This one was different. He was around her age and very pale and white. His hair was thick and white. His eyes were a bloody red and his nails were so long that it would rival with any teenage girl's nails. He wore a long black coat like he was hiding something and when he opened his mouth to speak, he had sharp teeth and a long, gray tongue.

He was rather handsome for a demon...

"Oh hi. You must be Celestria the angel. You're more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Allow me to make my humble acquaintance. My name is Draven."

His voice was so beautiful that it made her want to scream!

She took his hand and they walked in Hell together. It wasn't so bad when she held Draven's hand.

"How do you know about me?" She asked him.

"Oh, I hate it here. Soooo, I just listen to you angels in Heaven whenever I can and I saw you. I really liked you and wanted to talk to you in person..." Draven trailed off.

"So then I wrote you letters. Why didn't you answer them?" He asked her.

"Why did you spy on me?" She asked playfully. She wasn't mad at him, she knew how he felt.

"Uhh...sorry about that, I didn't think. Um..why didn't you answer my letters?" He repeated.

"Oh sorry, that wasn't me. My older sister hid them from me. She didn't want me around you. Sometimes, I think she's too caring. Do you have any older siblings?" She asked.

"No, it's just me. Hey, do you like being an angel? I hate being a demon. You're expected to be all rage and wrath and want to destroy the world and stuff. I don't want to stay here. I want to go to Heaven, it seems like such a nice and accepting paradise." Draven said.

"Sorry Draven, but it's the exact same story in Heaven. They expect you to be a sweet angel who wants to help everybody no matter what. If you don't meet their standards, then it's janitor work for you! Hey, can I ask you something?" She asked.

"Yes." He said.

"Why does everyone want us to meet other people's expectations?!" She yelled.

"I know, right?! It's so stupid!" Draven yelled. They talked for hours. She grew to like the demon boy and he felt the same for her.

Suddenly, a very angry voice huffed:

"CELESTRIA!"

"Oh no, it's you." She sighed.



Chapter Four



Evangeline was standing in Hell with her hands on her hips. She shook her head at Celestria.

"You're coming with me!" She yelled. Evangeline grabbed her hand, but Celestria was prepared.

"NO I'M NOT!" She kicked her leg and ran away with Draven, but Evangeline was fast and dragged her back to Heaven.

When they were back home, Evangeline took her to their bedroom and she plopped her on a bed.

"You shouldn't have done that, Celestria. Draven could have hurt you....you could have been hurt...don't do that again...blah blah blah..." Evangeline was rambling on and on again.

"I'M NOT FOUR YEARS OLD, EVANGELINE! I'M FREAKING SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS!" Celestria snapped. She couldn't take it anymore. She seriously couldn't.

Evangeline was speechless for the first time.

"DRAVEN WASN'T TRYING TO HURT ME! HE WAS JUST TRYING TO TALK TO ME! NOT ALL DEMONS ARE BAD!" She yelled.

"He could have-" Evangeline was saying.

"Don't." Celestria said. She walked off without a word.



Chapter Five



Celestria jumped into the portal to Hell to see Draven. They talked for hours and hours.

But Celestria had a question.

"Why do you wear such a long coat? What are you hiding?"

Draven shrugged.

"I don't know. I just feel better with it." He said, looking far off into the fires.

Celestria held his hand.

He didn't need to tell her. If he wanted, she would let him be silent.

She knew how he felt.



Chapter Six



Celestria went back home, her sister wasn't there.

Celestria thought for a while. Did she really want to stay here? Did Draven want to be in Hell? Could they...

But they couldn't possibly run away together. No matter how much she loved him, she couldn't abandon her sister, but then, why would she care now if she hadn't cared before? Celestria was sixteen, after all. She could make her own decisions!

Celestria sighed.

She knew exactly what she wanted.

Celestria went back home, her sister wasn't there.

Celestria thought for a while. Did she really want to stay here? Did Draven want to be in Hell? Could they...

But they couldn't possibly run away together. No matter how much she loved him, she couldn't abandon her sister, but then, why would she care now if she hadn't cared before? Celestria was sixteen, after all. She could make her own decisions!

Celestria sighed.

She knew exactly what she wanted.



Chapter Seven



"Evangeline, I have something to tell you." She said bravely.

"What?" Evangeline asked.

"I'm going to see the world with Draven." She said.

"WHAT?!" She screamed.

"What's wrong? It's not like he's going to hurt me!" She yelled.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH HIM, YOU ARE STILL A LITTLE-"

But Celestria wouldn't have it.

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Evangeline! I can make my own decisions and I want to be with Draven!" She yelled.

"Fine. If that's what you want. You want to leave faster? I know a way..." Evangeline sneered.

She then dragged Celestria to the Hall of God to discuss the problem.



Chapter Eight



They were in a marble hall of angel statues and ceiling paintings. This hall was the hall of God.

No one knew what gender God was or if God was even a living thing. God was just there. God was a divine light. Any angel that had a problem would answer to God.

"God, we have a problem!" Evangeline screamed.

"What?" God asked.

"My sister wants to be with a demon and go around the world with him! Please get some reason in her head!" Evangeline screamed.

God did not say anything.

"Hear me out, God. I love him! He loves me! She's keeping me away from him because we're different, he grows through the same things I go through down there. Everyone has unfair expectations for the both of us. Please, just let us love." Celestria pleaded.

"She can't go with him! He's vile and evil and-" Evangeline was interrupted.

"NO HE'S NOT! I LOVE HIM!" Celestria screamed.

God thought for a moment. Then it said:

"Celestria, come here."

She obeyed.

"You have violated every law in the Bible. You will now suffer." God said unforgivingly.

People have a common misconception that God is forgiving and perfect.

Evangeline did not say anything.In her eyes, Celestria was getting what she "deserved." Celestria, however, was crying. All she asked for was to be with her love!

"What will you do to me?" She asked.

"Your angelic powers shall be stripped from your soul." God said.

When an angel gets stripped of their powers, it hurts like never before.

And just like that, it made her wings no more.

Celestria screamed in pain.

Then, it used its powers to get rid of her immortality.

Now, she was a bleeding mortal.

God sent her down, down, all the way to the fiery pits of Hell.



Chapter Nine



Celestria raised her tear stained eyes to look at the burning inferno that Draven called home.

Speaking of Draven, Celestria heard him scream in pain. It appeared that the demons found out and were trying to kill him.

Celestria stiffened. Maybe she couldn't save herself, but she could try to save him.

"LET HIM GO!" She screamed at the angry mob.

"Why would we do that?!" They yelled at her.

"Because he did nothing wrong. He loved me and I love him .Love is not a crime. Love is a beautiful and magical force more powerful than we can ever imagine. Love is Love. We love each other, so let him go. Let us be together." She said.

They thought for a moment. Then they said:

"You want us to let him go? Okay, then we'll let him go!"

The demons held her back with their hands. They were keeping her from Draven.

Celestria fought hard, but they were stronger than her. She watched in pain as Draven was stripped of his immortality and demon powers.

They were cast away to Earth as their punishment.

They would stay there until they died.



Chapter Ten

They were lying in a human bed together. They were in a human apartment. Would this be their new life?

“Okay...So we’re human..no angels. No demons. Just human. I can’t believe they cast us away like that!” She yelled.

"At least we have each other." He said.

She smiled.

"Yes, no matter what we are or where we are, we will always have each other and that's all that matters." Celestria said.

They kissed passionately and their legs intertwined.

They would always have each other, no matter what.



Characters in Gacha Club:

Celestria:

Celestria (human):

Evangeline:

Draven:



Draven (human):


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Wed Jan 04, 2023 2:20 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi vampricone! It's been a little while since I've read any of your work and as I noticed a bunch was in the Green Room I though I would pop by.

Firstly, in regards to the structure of this I would consider whether you actually need the individual chapters. They're not typical for a short story and whilst there's no rule against it I just wonder if it serves any purpose? If you do keep them, perhaps you could put them in bold or underline them or something, just to clearly separate them from the rest of the text? I do love that you've posted the images at the bottom of this piece though. I see you posting a lot of these on your wall and I don't always link them to the specific stories so it's cool to see them within the context of the story.

Overall I thought the premise was interesting! The whole good, perfect angel who feels fed up with her life falls in love with the misunderstood demon worked well and I think it's a really cool plot to explore. You have a number of interesting ideas in this piece, but it felt more like it was an outline for a novel rather than a stand alone short story.

Things like the relationship between the sisters, the sense of duty vs need for freedom and the star-crossed loves themes are all such good ones to expand on and I think you have the bones for a really good novel (or novella). This just currently feels a little unfinished, like you've rushed to tell the story. I'd love to see a longer version of this because I think it would work super well.

If you ever do expand on it, please feel free to tag me!

Icy




vampricone6783 says...


I edited the chapter titles to be in bold (to separate them).

Thanks for reading!



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Fri Dec 16, 2022 4:21 pm
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Lovestrike wrote a review...



Hi vampricone!

Ooh I really like the premise here!

I see a lot of the angel and demon romance trope, but I don't think it's really that common. You definitely have a good foundation for the characters! They have personalities and they have backstories, which is a good start. I liked the dynamic between Evangeline and Celestria, but I also wish there was more of a sisterly relationship! They didn't feel very connected.

I don't mind the romance itself. It doesn't feel like the primary focus of the story though! I didn't have enough time to get introduced to the characters before they started to have romantic feelings. I don't think the romance was done badly, but I think it could feel more concrete! Show the characters' emotions! Describing their appearance once at the start of the story doesn't allow for the character to grow.

The ending was cute though! It was one of the more solid romantic interactions they had throughout the story. I'm also glad they got to be together without Evangeline meddling with everything! That was a big deal towards the beginning!

Also in general, I think adding more to this story could benefit you! The chapters are very short, which isn't a bad thing! Since this is a short story, I don't think chapters even belong though. The only thing I can recommend is to use different senses to describe things, and don't be afraid to ramble! Focus on how it feels, not how it looks.

This was good though! I liked the characters! =D

— Solstice




vampricone6783 says...


I have a sequel called %u201CAngelic Demon:Part Two%u201D and Celestria%u2019s origin story is out.

The sequel shows a more sisterly relationship.




“It doesn’t matter what you are, it only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”
— Sam Winchester