Published June 7, 2009
Even this bottle
Of simple alcohol
Gives me more attention
Than you.
It tells me
I’m loveable.
Even this edge
Of simple steel
Gives me more attention
Than you.
It tells me
I’m worthy.
Even this handful
Of simple medication
Gives me more attention
Than you.
It tells me
I’m alive.
Even this diagnosis
Of simple anorexia
Gives me more attention
Than you.
It tells me
I’m dying.
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140,878 Literary Works • 673,697 Reviews
Hey unster.
I read this way back when you first wrote this but I never got around to writing down a review for it. But I’m here now, I just took almost a month. ^^
Emotion
This is what I like so much about this piece. It has stark emotion and meaning without being flowering and overbearing. That’s what makes it good and makes it relatable. Normally, people will use too much description in order to ensure that the reader will sympathize. But by making the piece so bare, it allows for so many others to feel for the poem.
Really great work unster.
~lilymoore
Normally I don't like minimalistic poetry, but the starkness really works here. The alternating format of the stanzas works too. I also like the switch from "I'm alive" to "I'm dying". It really shows how dramatically life-altering these things are. Great poem.
I like the poem, but not the message it gives if you understand. I don't believe that you have to cut or develope eating issues to be noticed.
I dunno maybe it's just me. I have friends who do this to themselves and they always regret it.
Anyway I like it.
This was a very great and powerful poem. It caught me on the front page. It portrays a teenager's life quite well, considering a lot of teenagers feel neglacted and overlooked. Some resort to extremes, like in the poem, when all they need is a friend or two to support them. I really like this poem, though. Gold star!
Nujood Ali, of Ethiopia, was married off when she was nine years old. He husband beat and raped her. She went to her parents who wouldn't shelter her. She eventually collected money from her friends and got a bus to the courthouse, sitting there and refusing to move until she got a divorce. A lawyer listened to her, took her case on pro bono and got her one.
This is a sparse and concept driven piece, it's sparseness is to be applauded, it's stark. But I criticize your response to your responsibilities as an artist. This is immensely indulgent, it glorifies self abuse and the acquirement of disorders just for attention. I don't know if your parents suck, or your characters parents suck, or everyone's parents suck as they tend to do, but there is so much suffering, so much abuse and neglect in the world, without us having to contrive any more. I suppose this a genre thing, this is an emo thing, and sure that's a valid sub-culture, but you want to tie your work to the visceral core of humanity then you are going the wrong way about it. It's a trendy piece.
I've been through some terrible things in my life, and I know people who have been through worse, but if Nujood Ali gets something done about it, gets herself out of it at 9 years old, really no one else has a license to whinge.