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Young Writers Society



My Short Story for School - So far

by uniaeca


This is probably the worse thing I've ever written but I'm not so worried about content - I just need to meet the size standard and the generic conventions for a short story - So any advice that will help I welcome. Pity it's due tomorrow though...

Please note - Not finished, there are scenes missing.

Amabel sat down, amongst the usual rabble of the school’s dregs. They moved away hurriedly, leaving to fulfill whatever day they had planned. Amabel had never hurried. She just watched. Across the room from her sat Rhys, under pressure. Not only did he have an Ancient History roject to complete with only one day left, His friends were egging him into entering the House games. ‘C’mon you guys,’ Rhys tried to joke with them. ‘You know I’m busy – so much homework this week.’ He looked across the room. It wasn’t fair that others weren’t under this kind of pressure, why him? Tyler’s form blocked his view. ‘You have to,’ his mate insisted. ‘You’re the only one in our house good enough to play.’ ‘Okay, okay I’ll do it.’ Rhys agreed, mind elsewhere.

‘Why do you sit alone?’ A voice asked. The girl looked up – her eyes squinting to see who had bothered her. Rhys stood before her and she frowned at the sight of her peer. ‘Why does nobody sit with me?’ she replied. Rhys frowned at her before continuing the interrogation. ‘Why are you so depressed all the time?’ ‘Why are you so happy?’ He let out a soft growl and flopped down into the chair before her. At the front desk the librarian looked up and gave a loud huff. ‘If you want to talk you can go out onto the playground. A library is not for talking.’

Rhys smiled at the memory it was the first time he had talked to the strange girl and afterwards had found himself completely confused – a first for a likely future Dux winner.Across from him another like Dux winner was thinking of him also, however the memory was another one.

Distantly she could hear people telling her to go away but she ignored the voices, she’d stopped listening ages ago.

Amabel looked up to a familiar voice. ‘Hey,’ she replied to his greeting. She was getting used to Rhys coming over for a few quick words.

‘C’mon Rhys, leave little orphan Annie to herself, she’s fine but not fine. She always will be.’ Snapped one of Rhys’ friends. His eyes slid straight over Amabel as if she wasn’t there – just an unnoticed fly on a wall. Both of them raised their eyebrows at the new nickname Amabel had acquired but let it slide. ‘I’ll talk to you later, okay?’ He promised. She nodded her consent and watched him walk off. ‘Yeah right,’ she muttered underneath her breath once he had disappeared.

But he had talked to her again, Amabel reflected. He’d talked to her again, again and again. Just for short periods at a time. She remembered the times that they had ‘talked.’ They had been hurriedly exchanged words in a deserted school corridor or in the shadow of large bookcases in the library.

‘A penny for your thoughts,’ the voice came from across the table. Amabel looked across and smiled. ‘Why a penny? We’re Australian right, a penny isn’t really useful. Then if you were to offer five cents I’d have to tell you that my thoughts are probably worth much more than that.’

The librarian nodded approvingly to her answer and then pointed outside one of the windows overlooking the playground.

‘Look at them.’ Amabel was told. ‘Look at what? There are schoolchildren, playing together. What’s so important about that?’ ‘Look closer.’ The librarian insisted. She looked closer, closer and closer. ‘I don’t see anything,’ she answered. ‘Just a bunch of kids, playing together.’

‘Than you saw something.’ Was the cryptic reply.

‘Help me with these boxes wont you?’ An unfamiliar voice asked. Rhys turned the around to where it came from. Standing before him, the librarian was ungracefully juggling three boxes with two more on the floor.

He left his seat by the window and collected up the two boxes. ‘Where do you want them?’ Rhys asked when they finally stopped moving. ‘Just over there in the corner would be good thanks,’ the librarian panted as she released her own onto the floor. Rhys helped her to stack them in their rightful place and turned to leave.

He had promised Tyler that he would turn up at the House games. ‘They’re strange those children,’ the librarian had been watching him think. At his strange glance she pointed across the oval to the playground. ‘They don’t care much about anything. Just as long as they’re having fun there are no worries. They don’t hate, just like and love. What do you think high school would be like if your peers took on the same attitude?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he replied honestly and left her there, eyes on the oval as he walked back to the library.

‘I need to talk to you,’ Rhys said. ‘Rhys hurry up!’ one of his friends shouted followed by a catcall and then the angry voice of a professional librarian. ‘Why do you let them do that to you?’ Amabel asked suddenly. ‘They tell you what to do, and what not to do. Why not do what you want, instead of what others expect of you?’ ‘I-I- Why do you not let anyone near you?’ he retorted before swearing. ‘Sorry’ they both said. ‘Look we can’t talk here,’ Rhys muttered to her as he looked around. They were receiving furtive strangle glances from their peers. ‘But where can we go?’ ‘The playground,’ Amabel replied softly as it finally clicked. She risked a glance up and caught a pair of twinkling eyes. She turned back to Rhys, eyeing him carefully. ‘The playgrounds perfect,’ she said. ‘In the eyes of the junior school we’re just two people.’ ‘Just two people, unique and the same,’ He finished for her. He took her hand and they walked off. In their minds rung only one thought – What would everyone say?

Later on as they sat amongst the diversity of the primary school children they were jeered at by the ‘upper’ school children. Neither of them noticed the taunts. Instead they concentrated on the things that truly mattered the most. Themselves.


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Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:17 pm
uniaeca says...



This is the final copy that my teacher will be receiving. It's absolutely horrible, has a neat bow ending and I'll be lucky to scrape a 'c' for it. However, it is done even if it is unfairly late.

Amabel sat down, amongst the usual rabble of the school’s dregs. They moved away hurriedly, leaving to fulfill whatever day they had planned. Amabel had never hurried. She just watched. Across the room from her sat Rhys, under pressure. Not only did he have an Ancient History project to complete with only one day left, His friends were egging him into entering the House games. ‘C’mon you guys,’ Rhys tried to joke with them. ‘You know I’m busy – so much homework this week.’ He looked across the room. It wasn’t fair that others weren’t under this kind of pressure, why him? Tyler’s form blocked his view. ‘You have to,’ his mate insisted. ‘You’re the only one in our house good enough to play.’ ‘Okay, okay I’ll do it.’ Rhys agreed, mind elsewhere.

‘Why do you sit alone?’ A voice asked. The girl looked up – her eyes squinting to see who had bothered her. Rhys stood before her and she frowned at the sight of her peer. ‘Why does nobody sit with me?’ she replied. Rhys frowned at her before continuing the interrogation. ‘Why are you so depressed all the time?’ ‘Why are you so happy?’ He let out a soft growl and flopped down into the chair before her. At the front desk the librarian looked up and gave a loud huff. ‘If you want to talk you can go out onto the playground. A library is not for talking.’

Rhys smiled at the memory it was the first time he had talked to the strange girl and afterwards had found himself completely confused – a first for a likely future Dux winner. Across from him another like Dux winner was thinking of him also; however the memory was another one.
Distantly she could hear people telling her to go away but she ignored the voices, she’d stopped listening ages ago.

Amabel looked up to a familiar voice. ‘Hey,’ she replied to his greeting. She was getting used to Rhys coming over for a few quick words.
‘C’mon Rhys, leave little orphan Annie to herself, she’s fine but not fine. She always will be.’ One of Rhys' friends snapped. His eyes slid straight over Amabel as if she wasn’t there – just an unnoticed fly on a wall. Both of them raised their eyebrows at the new nickname Amabel had acquired but let it slide. ‘I’ll talk to you later, okay?’ He promised. She nodded her consent and watched him walk off. ‘Yeah right,’ she muttered underneath her breath once he had disappeared.

But he had talked to her again, Amabel reflected. He’d talked to her again, again and again. Just for short periods at a time. She remembered the times that they had ‘talked.’ They had been hurriedly exchanged words in a deserted school corridor or in the shadow of large bookcases in the library.

When she had been in primary school – she had been the most popular girl. She had the perfect ‘husband’ and whenever he loud voice was heard across the playground people would shut up and listen to her. She had never been the brightest crayon in the box yet she still knew how to dominate the others. Through brutal force and the backing up of others she would always have others by her side and watching her. Learning how to blackmail her older sisters had been an important step as well. Whoever she wanted for her best friends had been her best friend. If she disliked someone, everyone disliked them.


Amabel cringed as she remembered her youthful days – when she had been cruel enough to do to others what was now being done to her so many years later. Karma was definitely a bitch.
‘A penny for your thoughts,’ the voice came from across the table. Amabel looked across at the librarian and gave her an amused smile ‘Why a penny? We’re Australian right? A penny isn’t very useful here in Australia. Then if you were to offer me five cents I’d have to tell you that my thoughts are probably worth much more than that, say one million dollars or so.’
The librarian nodded approvingly to her answer. ‘I’ve always known that you were the smartest one of your year. What were you thinking about?’ ‘About my childhood, the reign of dictatorship I held then,’ Amabel smiled sadly. ‘It’s weird to think that now I’m feeling exactly what others were feeling way back then when I was a tyrant. Things still are the same.’ ‘For you maybe,’ the librarian agreed. ‘But usually things change during each generation.’ She pointed outside one of the windows overlooking the playground.
‘Look at them.’ Amabel was told. ‘What’s there to look at? There are schoolchildren, playing together. What’s so important about that?’ ‘Look closer.’ The librarian insisted. Amabel gave her a strange look, sighed, and tried again. Two children sat on the swings, being pushed by two other children.
At the same time three children went down the slide together – tumbling out towards the end‘I don’t see anything,’ she answered. ‘Just a bunch of kids, playing together, probably about to create a lawsuit for the school.’
‘You saw something’ The librarian replied cryptically before gathering up her notes. ‘You just haven’t realised it yet.’
Amabel shook her head at this. Not only did she have school problems now, she also had librarian problems.

‘I don’t even know why he talks to her – he never talks to new kids, ‘specially not ones like her.’ Amabel stopped where she stood and took a peek around the corner. A few guys she didn’t know and Tyler stood there obviously discussing her – and perhaps Rhys?
‘Serious – It’s disgustin’ she’s so weird that I’m surprised they haven’ put her in de loony bin by now.’ Tyler then continued to mimic what he thought of her, acting out to his peers’ applause. Cringing, Amabel backed away only to bump into the one person she didn’t want to see. Pushing Rhys away from her, Amabel left swiftly the laughter ringing in her ears. Behind her, Rhys argued with his mates.

‘Help me with these boxes wont you?’ An unfamiliar voice asked. Rhys turned the around to where it came from. Standing before him, the librarian was ungracefully juggling three boxes with two more on the floor.
He left his seat by the window and collected up the two boxes. ‘Where do you want them?’ Rhys asked when they finally stopped moving. ‘Just over there in the corner would be good thanks,’ the librarian panted as she released her own onto the floor. Rhys helped her to stack them in their rightful place and turned to leave.
He had promised Tyler that he would turn up at the House games. ‘They’re strange those children,’ the librarian had been watching him think. At his strange glance she pointed across the oval to the playground. ‘They don’t care much about anything. Just as long as they’re having fun there are no worries. They don’t hate, just like and love. What do you think high school would be like if your peers took on the same attitude?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he replied honestly and left her there, eyes on the oval as he walked back to the library.

‘C’mon Rhys, let’s play dollies,’ a young girl with auburn hair motions for him to follow. Obediently he follows her – the boys never let him play and so Rhys had always been grateful when one of the girls would finally invite him to join in. Before that he would sit alone – occasionally hiding in the book section where he would read about other places and escape into his only little world where he was able to be whoever he wanted to be and do whatever he wanted to do.
There were no limitations to his power in his dreams – reality was a different matter though. Until finally one day he was invited to play a junior football game. It was that day that completely changed his life around forever.

Amabel was casually drumming her fingers on the library desk when an extremely recognizable shadow fell over the desk. Smiling she looked up until she saw the look on her only friends face. ‘I need to talk to you,’ Rhys said. ‘Rhys hurry up!’ one of his friends shouted followed by a catcall and then the angry voice of a professional librarian. ‘Why do you let them do that to you?’ Amabel asked suddenly. ‘They tell you what to do, and what not to do. Why not do what you want, instead of what others expect of you?’ ‘I-I- Why do you not let anyone near you?’ he retorted before swearing. ‘Sorry’ they both said. ‘Look we can’t talk here,’ Rhys muttered to her as he looked around. They were receiving furtive strangle glances from their peers. ‘But where can we go?’ ‘The playground,’ Amabel replied softly as it finally clicked. She risked a glance up and caught a pair of twinkling eyes. She turned back to Rhys, eyeing him carefully. ‘The playgrounds perfect,’ she said. ‘In the eyes of the junior school we’re just two people.’ ‘Just two people, unique and the same,’ He finished for her. He took her hand and they walked off. In their minds rung only one thought – What would everyone say?

Later on as they sat amongst the diversity of the primary school children they were jeered at by the ‘upper’ school children. Neither of them noticed the taunts. Instead they concentrated on the things that truly mattered the most. Themselves.





Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
— Samuel Butler