Published June 17, 2010
How to be dead
VERSE 1
Step one; shut off from everything
Don’t think, don’t feel
Take nothing in.
You walk, you talk
But you’re not really there
That’s how you show that you don’t care
CHORUS
It’s how to be dead
Put a gun to your head
How to be dead
Be rid of the tears you shed
How to be dead
Shut up and listen
This is how you be dead!
VERSE 2
Step two; don’t talk about it
You’re hurting, yeah
But no need to cry about it
You spent so long putting up with his shit
Now you’re finally rid of that lazy git
CHORUS
VERSE 3
Step three; by now you’re just an empty shell
But that ain’t gonna save you from hell
You don’t feel remorse for the sins you commit
Your life is just an endless pit
CHORUS
BRIDGE
Fear - creeping up your spin
Tears - streaming down your face
Clenched in the jaws of loneliness
Yeah you’re all alone in the bitterness!
OUTRO type thing
You trusted her to hate him too
But they just clicked and off they flew
You look around and you realize
You’re all alone in the bitterness
Take one step and you’re falling down
There ain’t anything that can lift your frown
So learn!
How to be dead!
Be rid of the tears you shed!
Make up your death bed,
‘cos you’re learning how to be freakin’ dead!
Step one shut off
Step two don’t talk
Step three just walk
‘cos there ain’t nothing left!
You’re cold and alone and you’re falling
You’re sad and depressed and you’re bawling
You’re there but nothing’s left
Ain’t nothing left
You call it theft
But you left
You-
You’re DEAD!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,360 Literary Works • 674,381 Reviews
I really liked this! I loved the pacing and the weird narrator who instructs on how to be dead but seems to almost be tricking and manipulating the listener who is oh so vulnerable.
The step by step format is really darkly humorous. It helps build that tone in the beginning that works right up to that uninhibited bridge. If you write music for this/perform it, put it on youtube and pm me the link, I'd love to hear it!
Wow...this was amazing. It was so powerful, and I could feel the anger and emotion you put into it. I could almost hear the voice and the music. It was really great, and since I am not a major amazing song writer I don't have any pointers.
Good job!