Published November 19, 2011
lyrics/poem/thing with no real form but sounds epic when its sung..
Another knife in my hand.
Another bullet in my heart.
And I don’t know where to start,
To tell you about these past few weeks you left me,
High and dry and falling down, into the darkest pits of hell,
And only time will tell if I can pull out of this alive…
Can we make it out alive?
Another blow to my heart!
Another shot to the head!
And I think I’d rather be dead, than here,
Where the night is never clear, and stars don't feel like shining,
So I'm left in the dark, and the cold, and here we go....
Another lost one to join,
The march of the forgotten, the lost and the dead!
Another gun to my head!
Another way to die instead!
Just to get rid of the heart ache…
Tell me, why do we even bother?
Show me, if you really care.
Just throw me, a line to save me now.
But can you save me now?
Or will we all fall down…?
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141,367 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Hello there!!
This is an amazing song! I write songs myself and this is absolutely incredible. I think that it'd sound awesome if you put it to some piano or guitar music...great work!
There is one part of this piece that made me laugh. I don't think that you meant it to, but I'm going to go ahead and explain why. Have you ever seen the movie 'Nacho Libre' starring Jack Black? It's an insanely stupid movie about a wrestler. At one point in the movie, he explains about how 'a punch to the face' or 'a punch to the head' feels good, and your poem reminded me of it.
I'm sorry that I'm laughing, but it just makes me laugh! Every time I read this, I keep picturing Jack Black's moustached face saying the lines from the movie. I'm wierd, I know. Oh well. That's just how I am!
In all seriousness, though, I absolutely love this, and would love to hear it set to music. Amazing work. I can't wait to read more from you!
Happy writing!!
-Rose
Ohhai there, undeadbunnie!
Wow. I like this. I don't usually like this kind of songs, cause I'm one happy hippie hyper bunny, xD *looks at her avvie* but I can't help loving your writing. You put so much emotion into this, and it was so dramatically amazing. Art<3 You managed to be pretty creative and... it's just great. I wouldn't change anything. Keep writing! ^_^
~Solly<3
Mate, that sounds sick! I listen to songs like that all the time, and this blows away the competition! It had all the major emotions: Anger, Sadness, Madness, all the ingrediants for a gut buster of a song! Get this song on the radio mate! I'll be listening xD
Oh, I would love to hear this put to music! The 'another...' lines are sharp and haunting. "Where the night is never clear, and stars don't feel like shining" is a bit too long for the rhythm-flow, though; if the lines could be broken up, it might be smoother.
Keep writing!