Shawn

Well, great. Now we have another piece that forces us to define poem, prose, and everything else. I agree that this is not a poem, but before we tell someone that, we must tell them what a poem is. So, instead of coming up with something conviluted, I'm gonna go straight to the dictionary. (Caution: dictionary gives minimalistic definitions that are not always all-encompassing.)

1. A verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme.
2. A composition in verse rather than in prose.
3. A literary composition written with an intensity or beauty of language more characteristic of poetry than of prose.
4. A creation, object, or experience having beauty suggestive of poetry.

So, then what is prose?

prose n. 1. Ordinary speech or writing, without metrical structure.

Hmmm. So then, what is free verse? not every poem has a definite metrical pattern? Does that make it prose?

free verse n. Verse composed of variable, usually unrhymed lines having no fixed metrical pattern.

Ok, recap. So poetry has meter, prose does not, and free verse is poetry, but it has no DEFINITE meter. The rhythm is subtle and can change even from line to line. It is often difficult to distinguish from prose, but here's a hint: If you can read something the exact same way you would say it, it's probably prose. What you have written above does not have poetic language, does not describe something beautiful (per se), and does not have poetic meter. It is a conversation with line breaks. To make it a poem, try to use poetic language, connected with emotions, but most importantly, change the rhythm so it is not conversational.

This goes to the point that rhythm is more important than rhyme. Even though some of your lines rhyme, it does not make it poetic. Imagine a musical piece with a melody, but no rhythm. This might be a difficult thing to understand, depending on your back ground in music. Without getting too technical, rhythm in music, as in poetry, is the pattern of beats within a certain set time. (In poetry, the set time can be interpreted by the reader, and it is much more concrete in music.) If there was no rhythm, I could play one part of the melody very quickly, stop for a minute, play two more notes, and finish the song a month later. No one would be able to recognize it even if the melody werequite familiar.

Cheerio.

I agree with xanthan gum, this could use some work.

This isn't really...a poem. It's basically something with line-breaks. How about metaphors? More meaning? Some similies? Rhythm, perhaps? The feelings you had behind this were developed, but now you must take this mesh of emotion and transform it into a poem.

I like the first two lines easpeashally but the last two lines seem a bit forced. Are you going to show this to Shawn? Also I thought we agreed he was the jerk and in the wrong not you. Why did you think of writing it so long after the actual event?