Black Lives Matter
The people cry out, their tears, sweat, and rage fill the streets.
Signs are raised high above weary heads, bobbing up and down with the chants of justice. The marching of feet can be heard for miles, a constant reminder of their cause.
“How many more?”
“Who will be next?”
“When is enough enough?”
Their anguish is suffocating, ripping the air out of the lungs of a nation.
And yet, even when that nation is moments away from death, the last flickers of life draining from its eyes, it does not yield.
It would rather face its own demise than recognize the sickness in its blood, the poison that has decayed its heart.
What they are asking for is so simple, why should they be denied?
In a place where life, liberty, and justice are taken to seriously, how could their pain be ignored?
A barrage of questions and rage hammer down on the unbreakable barrier of privilege, demanding an answer.
But, in the flurry of emotion, it is silent. A weeping mother falls to the ground, incapable of understanding.
She yearns for a time when her children and her children’s children will be valued.
Her desires are swept away, the wind picking them up and scattering them into the valley filled with the wishes of a million more, left to return to the earth.
“How can one stop the wind?”
“Where do we start?”
To stop the wind, you must first stop the earth itself, and remove the sun from the sky.
“Is that even possible?”
I'm not sure, but we're getting there.
It can be done.
For there is nothing more powerful in this universe than the will of those who will not let themselves be silenced.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello! And, a belated welcome to YWS! I hope you have a great time here. I am Hannah. I hope my review helps!
Grows:
"Black Lives Matter"
You don't need to put the title of a poem before the poem. If that was not what it was supposed to be, then forget it! But it is unnecessary.
Glows:
Wow! This was deep:
"She yearns for a time when her children and her children’s children will be valued.
Her desires are swept away, the wind picking them up and scattering them into the valley filled with the wishes of a million more, left to return to the earth."
It was so poetic.
"“How can one stop the wind?”
“Where do we start?”
To stop the wind, you must first stop the earth itself, and remove the sun from the sky."
This supports the previous line perfectly! It was a great metaphor, too.
I hope this review helped! I hope to hear more from you! Have a great day, and keep writing!
Hannah
Hello! My name's Anna and I was really drawn to your piece. I'm passionate about BLM and often want to write about it, only I don't know what. So great job for producing something with this much passion!
"Who will be next?" gave me goosebumps. In other parts, you get a lot of imagery in there. Like the visual of ripping out the air from our lungs.
There are some grammatical errors that took me out of the story. The first line should be "The people cry out. (period, not comma) Their tears." Then later, "...justice are taken to seriously" should be "too."
Then the parallel with stopping the wind and removing the sun from the sky doesn't really make sense. The ending needs big impact, and that concept just fell short for me. If you replace "remove the sun from the sky" with something about the air we breathe, or something about wind itself, that would make more sense.
Last line is great.
Overall this piece has amazing potential and I'm so glad you wrote it. Keep on.
Thanks so much for the review! Also thank you for pointing out some of the errors, grammar isn't my strong suit but I will be sure to improve on it in my future work!
This poem sent chills down my back......I am not an American but I know the situation of racism is quite bad there.......I believe if this poem is published in some newspaper there it would definitely win many hearts.......and many ignorant ones' eyes would be opened.
The line
" It would rather face it's own demise than recognize the sickness in its blood, the poison that has decayed its heart." was my favorite one. It is a heartwrenching line if we try to visualize it. I have always believed such free verse poems can create a difference in the thinking of a lot of minds......
"What they are asking for is so simple, why should they be denied." This line struck me too. It portrays the truth so beautifully about how the only thing they ask for is freedom and right to live, and some are not even ready to give them that
I would always remember this poem, it has inspired me........Congratulations tuckito!!! Hats off to you for this!!
Wow, I am so glad that my poem inspired you! I hope my future work does the same!