Mockingbirds

I figured as much! It definitely seemed like you just scraped it together haphazardly. XD I just wanted to let you know that in university, this would probably be a D paper.

And they're pretty big in comparative literature about unpacking quotes and using them to explain your proof. Why? Because plot summaries usually contain bias and you can twist your words around to make it seem like the piece says something when it really doesn't. So, plot summaries are generally not seen in comparative literature as proof by any stretch. Just FYI.

Also, I did see your thesis. However, I was confused whether it was actually your thesis because you didn't seem to prove it. In order to actually prove your thesis, your proof would probably have to go in this order:

1. What does personification of a mockingbird mean and why this personification is even important? You can do this is the introduction instead of the plot summary you have as your introduction now. This would also keep your word limit down -- right now, most of your word count consists of plot summaries that you really don't need.

2. How are both people guileless?

3. How is Tom Robinson more representative of the mockingbird?

Each of these should have its own paragraph too. Right now, each of your thoughts are scattered and confused and your paragraphs don't really mean anything because you're trying to prove multiple things in each paragraph, but not really succeeding in it. You do try to cover these points, but it's in a haphazard and unclear way, and if we learn anything from language, language should probably be as clear as possible.

Anyway, just a warning. I never went to high school (went straight to college when I was 14) so a lot of my classmates had to completely unlearn these habits that they've picked up in high school.

Snoink, a few points:
1. I was working with a word limit, a line that I was slightly over anyway, so unpacking my quotes, or proving my point was a little difficult. Since it would be a qualified English teacher doing the marking, I more or less let my quotes speak for themselves.
2. This was a compare and contrast essay. You seem to have skipped over my thesis sentence. "Both Tom Robinson and Arthur Radley are guileless, in thought and action. However with detailed analysis it can be said that Tom Robinson - who has led a blameless life and ultimately dies because of a white man’s cruelty - is the ideal personification of the mockingbird." The essay was trying to prove that Tom was a better personification of the mockingbird than Arthur Radley. Thus, in the latter parts of my points, I was proving that Boo Radley was, in fact, not a mockingbird.
3. What you called "plot summary" was actually my proof that a) Tom Robinson was an innocent man, one of the qualities of a mockinbird, and b) Arthur Radley was not all that innocent, and is hence not a mockingbird.

Anyway, thanks for the review. This was definitely not an example of my best work, and was written in an hour and a half, but I felt it was adequate for a high school class.

Comments are in red!

tr3x wrote:

Tom Robinson: A True Mockingbird

Harper Lee’s classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird is a deeply moving story of innocence, cruelty, hatred and kindness. Nothing represents the premise of the novel better than the symbol of the mockingbird. This introduction is pretty boring and typical... maybe you can spice it up?The mockingbird represents all that is innocent you will need to prove this, and all that is destroyed by the cruelty and prejudice of man again, you will need to prove this. Characters such as Arthur Radley don't digress and talk about Radley unless you want to talk about him in the essay... stick with your topic of Tom Robinson or change your nameand Tom Robinson can be viewed as mockingbirds this whole set up is very awkward if their personal qualities such as the innocence they exhibit and their worth in society are examined don't start saying that these can be determined if they are examined... that's just boring-sounding. Both Tom Robinson and Arthur Radley are guileless, in thought and action. However with detailed analysis it can be said that Tom Robinson - who has led a blameless life and ultimately dies because of a white man’s cruelty - is the ideal personification of the mockingbird this seems to be your thesis statement, but it's not very strong... try beginning by personifying the actual mockingbird using solid quotes from the book.

A key feature of a ‘mockingbird’ character is the innocence he displays also, this kind of bugs me, but Scout herself is kind of a mockingbird character as well and its her childhood innocence that is being destroyed... I am saying this because the gender bit bugs me. In the novel, Tom Robinson is displayed as a helpless man, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, whereas Arthur Radley appears to be a mysterious, even evil character how do these characterizations help personify them as mockingbirds or show them as innocent? it seems like you are starting to plot-summarize rather than prove your point. Tom Robinson works as a farm hand to support his wife and children. He does his best with his means, and keeps his head down and ignores the racism that is prevalent in Maycomb society. He is a gentle man, and leads a gentle life. Not only is he innocent of the so – called crime he is being prosecuted for, but he is innocent in word and deed as well. He is always polite, even to his supposed superiors, and attends church with humilityall of the green is plot summary, and plot summary sucks. stick with quotes, such as the next sentence. Atticus Finch refers to him as “a quiet, respectable, humble Negro,” and a reader don't assume that all readers will see this can deduce that Tom Robinson’s only crime is that a white woman tried to tempt him you need to cite this quote. This ‘crime’ is laughable by modern standards, but it is a death sentence to him. Thus this characteristic humility and innocence make Tom Robinson an evocative representation of the mockingbird not really... you need to reference much more evidence from the book to make this proof stronger. On the other hand, Arthur Radley is a character with a dark past. A lot of rumors about him are false; however it is known that he did fall in with a gang when he was younger, and got arrested as a result. Instead of sending him to a facility, his father keeps him locked up at home. plot summary! bad! It is also suggested by Miss Stephanie Crawford that Boo once attacked his father, when she says “Boo was sitting in the livingroom cutting some items from The Maycomb Tribune to paste in his scrapbook. His father entered the room. As Mr. Radley passed by, Boo drove the scissors into his parent’s leg, pulled them out, wiped them on his pants, and resumed his activities. Mrs. Radley ran screaming into the street that Arthur was killing them all,” (Lee, 13) I like the use of quote, but you're off-topic and not explaining how Arthur is a mockingbird or innocent very well, so you're not really proving your point at all. Although society has misjudged Boo Radley over the years have they really misjudged him? his reputation is not exactly pristine. He may be force for good later in the novel, but he does not fit the image of the allegorical mockingbird accurately no he doesn't... your proving skills need work here.

Mockingbirds are known for the beauty of their calls. As Harper Lee – or any ornithologist for that matter why are you digressing with this unproven fact that has nothing to do with the essay?– would tell us, they are not pests. In the words of Miss Maudie Atkinson, “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us” (Lee, 119).yay, quote. now the next thing you want to do is unpack the quote. what does this mean to your argument? explain how this is significant and shows that the birds are innocent and beautiful Similarly, Tom Robinson is a caring and helpful man. He doesn’t antagonize Bob Ewell or his daughter; he is a victim of circumstance. Tom is a hard working man, and whenever Mayella Ewell needs someone to do odd jobs about the house, he is willing to lend a hand. He never asks for any payment, and is more than willing to help her out. He feels sorry for her, as she has to support an enormous family, on top of dealing with a drunken father. now you have to tie in the thought that Tom and the mockingbird are similar to each other -- do not think that everyone will know what you're talking about! Yet, when she is found embracing him by her father, she accuses him of rape in order to cleanse herself of the guilt of tempting a black man how is this like a mocking bird? . Thus, just like a mockingbird, Tom Robinson ‘sings’ to the tune of a white woman, expecting nothing in return, but dies at the hands of a white jury you have not mentioned mockingbirds dying yet... so there is a large disconnect here. His death does not bring justice, it creates injustice prove this with a quote from the book. It is just like the death of a bird, meaningless and cruel prove this with a quote from the book. Unlike Tom Robinson, Arthur Radley is not a contributing member of society. His true intentions in hiding away from society are seen when Jem says “Why can’t they get along with each other? If they’re all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other? Scout, I think I’m beginning to understand something. I think I’m beginning to understand why Boo Radley’s stayed shut up in the house all this time… It’s because he wants to stay inside” (Lee, 304).this quote can probably be much shortened Arthur exiles himself from the rest of Maycomb and shuns society because he views it as cruel, and flawed by racism does Arthur really care for racism? prove it. He seems unconcerned, and resigned to live out the rest of his days as a hermit in his own house. He never directly interacts with the outside world except through the small gifts that he leaves for the children. If Boo Radley is a mockingbird, he is a mute one that does not sing so how is he a mockingbird again?. In the end, while Tom Robinson dies an innocent man, Boo Radley lives with the guilt of a murder on his shoulders, albeit a crime of necessity. He is obviously not an innocent man, although in the novel he appears to have a child-like simplicity about him non sequitar.

The mockingbird is a recurring symbol through the novel and yet you found only one quote with a mockingbird to use before this paragraph? and brings up a lot of evocative political and social ideas of innocence and guilt in society. There are definite don't say "definite"... prove it parallels between the mockingbird and characters such as Tom Robinson, Boo Radley, and even Atticus Finch don't start adding characters that you haven't proved yet. Ultimately Tom Robinson seems to personify the mockingbird. He is innocent, both in nature and in the crime he is accused of. He is a well meaning and helpful man, and a contributing member of society. All his work is for a white man’s pleasure. Yet he is slaughtered like a common songbird before a hunter’s rifle. Thus, Tom Robinson’s life bolsters the concept in a reader’s mind that “it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird” (Lee, 119). this quote should have been used a lot sooner

As a man of pain, Odysseus must fully embrace his suffering in order to embrace his identity and prepare himself for his final homecoming. <-- topic sentence! Throughout his wanderings back home, Odysseus has suffered loss after loss until finally, when he is introduced to us in the Odyssey, he is a broken man who has nothing left. introductory paragraph By expressing his “hero’s heart” when calling out after the Cyclops, he has doomed himself to a long journey home (9.498) first quote used. As a hero, he is expected to win glory to his name and cunning, and thus he wanted to reveal his name at the very end when he was assured victory and glory against the Cyclops. However, this foray with the gods curses him far more than he ever expects and as a result he loses his home while at the same time his identity is shattered. As a king, his identity is tied intrinsically with Ithaca. A loss of Ithaca for him means a loss of purpose and meaning in his life. ^ explanation of the quote used and a proof as to why I said that he has doomed himself This can be demonstrated when he first approaches Ithaca, but fails to reach the shore due to his untrusting men. set up for next proofWhen he wakes up to see his “native land faded on the horizon” he loses hope and contemplates suicide: “When I woke up and saw what had happened/ I thought long and hard about whether I should/ Just go over the side and end it all in the sea” (10.55, 10.56-58). The second quote used for proof By thinking about whether he should live or not, he realizes that he has lost his home and thus the purpose for his life, which he held dearly. unpacking the sentence and putting it into the context of the essayThis point is emphasized when Aeolus says, “Begone from this island instantly!/ You are the most cursed of all living things” (10.81-82). more proof His curse of not being able to arrive home safely grieves Odysseus greatly since he realizes that through this curse, he must wander and prove himself over and over again through trials of suffering before he can finally go home. unpacking the quote When asking for a safe passage home from the Phaeacians, he says, “Nothing is sweeter than your own country/ And your own parents, not even living in a rich house—/ Not if it’s far from family and home” (9.37-339). more proof using quotes emphasizing that he is doomed to wander Later, Odysseus repeats this sentiment when he says, “Eurmaeus, may you be as dear to father Zeus/ As you are to me, for you have given me a rest/ From wandering the world in grief and pain. / Nothing is harder on a man than homelessness” (15.374-377). still more proof to show that he is wandering His pain in wandering comes directly from having to prove himself and his identity through continual suffering and not being allowed to rest in the glory that he, as a great hero, has earned. explanation of the quotes and putting it in the context of the essay In one of the most poignant scenes of the Odyssey, Odysseus, after finally finding a temporary home with the Phaeacians, begs Demodocus to sing the song about Odysseus’s cunning in the Trojan War. As Demodocus recounts the tale, Odysseus weeps with “...Tears/ Welled up in his eyes and flowed down his cheeks” (564-565). a quote to set up an additional proofThese tears, after hearing the account of the war are described with this simile:
A woman wails as she throws herself upon
Her husband’s body. He has fallen in battle
Before the town walls, fighting to the last
To defend his city and protect his children.
As she sees him dying and gasping for breath
She clings to him and shrieks, while behind her
Soldiers prod their spears into her shoulders and back,
And as they lead her away into slavery
Her tear-drenched face is a mask of pain.

So too Odysseus, pitiful in his grief.
(566-575) long quote that shows how much he suffers
These words show that Odysseus is still very much trapped in his fate. Though he has attained the glory, or kleos, that most of his fellow warriors have striven for, he has no satisfaction with that for these past glories do not make up for his loss of home that has been torn away from him unpacking the quote and demonstrating that the loss of home is something devastating to him. To Odysseus, glory is only glorious when there is a home to share in his glory. Though he would like to cling to his past glories, his glory has been stripped away from him through the battle of his life and he has nothing left. However, unlike the men who have died gloriously defending their home, his home has been stripped away from him and he is described as a newly enslaved woman whose home has been utterly destroyed and now has no say in where she is led. Even if Odysseus clings to his past glories, he must go forth into a new life full of pain and suffering in order to achieve his final glory of homecoming. more unpacking, followed by a last sentence which ties in the paragraph with the whole of the essay