Published April 25, 2008
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
Hey, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy it here.
Anyways, you need to rules. They ask for you to review at least two works before posting your own. Also, you really need to break this up to make it easier for people to review. So when you break this up I'll review it.
Welcome once again!
This was pretty good. Truthfully though, I found myself staring into space, just like the character.
The first paragraph was pretty good, and so was the second, but after it just started falling into a regular routine.
The vocabulary at first was nice and refreshing, but sometimes smaller words to describe things that don't hold much significance to the story is better; it seems like you're trying a little too hard.
Pretty good beginning, just a little rough.
Love, Peace, All That Jazz,
-Chanelmarie x]