Flurry
Undo the dreams of my night
Touch me to make me feel I live
Hold me so that I can cower
In the radiance that only time could weave.
Wrap me in envy so that I
Seduce the blind and leave
Marks on the stress less zones
And sink in the sky’s eyes horribly deep!
Drench me in lust so I can
Bloom in the betraying space,
Soften me so that I
Droop in the sunshine of days…
Hurt me so that I
Can cry after silence of an age.
Jerk me from this trance
Give me grief, envy and rage…..
[/u]
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Canary word: Present
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beautiful. i like how you worded everything, and its very passionate. the only thing is, its a bit repitive since the structure of the stanzas are really similar. perhaps you could throw in some variety.
Do you mean make me feel alive?
I really liked the poem. But it would be better if it was longer.
Hmm that brillant, my favourite line was "Bloom in the betraying space"
It seemed rushed though that just my opinion.