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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Celebrate Mothers, Celebrate Life.

by torreygrace


St. Thomas Aquinas once said, “To love is to will the good of another.” Willing the good of another always calls us to sacrifice our own will for the sake of the other’s good. In other words, love is sacrifice. Truly loving someone, a relative, a spouse, a good friend, a parent or a child, requires a complete sacrifice for the good of that person. A relationship is not loving if those in it only care for the good of themselves. A mother is the very definition of sacrifice. All mothers sacrifice tremendously for the good of their children by offering their bodies, time and routines in a whole new way of life. Why is it that mothers who forgo personal pleasures to be with their children seem to be happier than those who do their own thing and toss their children aside? It doesn’t make sense, right? It seems that the one who doesn’t change, who continues to, “do whatever she wants”, by not taking away precious hours of her leisure time to be with her kids would be happier. Not according to Aquinas, because true love is dependent on sacrifice.

My mom, like all mothers, sacrificed everything that she was and did to have me, but she also put her reputation, her dignity and her job on the line to choose life. In October 1999, I was conceived, a month before my parents’ wedding. Being from devout Christian families, that was a disgrace. If they kept the baby, me, there stood the very real possibility of watching their world crumble before them. My mom could have lost her job at a Christian organization as well as the support of her community. The temptation of an abortion flashed across my mother’s mind. Nobody would know, she could live her life as if nothing had happened, avoiding the public acknowledgement and scandal of her sins both for herself and her family. She could wait until she was “ready” for a child. Everything would look good on the outside, but I would have been dead. My mother wasn’t willing to sacrifice the life of her child for her own solace. No, she truly loved me from the beginning, so she chose the most loving thing for her unborn child, the sacrificial choice, she chose life. By embracing life and love despite the cost, she received an ocean of mercy. She received so much grace, in fact, that it became my middle name.

My mother has given up so much for my sake, as every mother who has come before, and will come after her. She, along with all mothers, encapsulate the words of St. Thomas Aquinas, through the tremendous love she demonstrates by sacrificing for me and my family with joy in her heart for our greatest good.

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Random avatar

Points: 7676
Reviews: 93

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Mon Nov 03, 2014 6:36 pm
emeraldfox wrote a review...



You made your point pretty well, but I must say I saw some errors in it. (I disagree with you on the topic of the article, but 'm going to review as if I am neutral because this is a review, not a debate)

Some things I liked...
You followed grammar, spelling, punctuation, and quotation rules well. This made the article easier to read and comprehend. You used a personal story about abortion to convey your own family's values. Your word choice and metaphors added depth to your argument.

Some things I didn't like...
You only used one source (St. Thomas Aquinas) to defend your point. If you had added more sources, your argument would have been stronger. It is important, particularly in an argumentative essay, to have multiple sources both defending your position and opposing it. When you write an argumentative essay, you should write about the opposing point of view and tell why you believe it is invalid or incorrect. Another thing I noticed was your generalization of, "all mothers" being able to raise children well. Not every mother is able to make sacrifices to raise a child. This could be because of an economic hardship or not feeling ready or mature enough to be a mother.

Just strengthen your argument a but with some more sources and references. That would make it a more well-rounded essay.




torreygrace says...


Thank you! I have had a couple people point out how I grouped all mothers into one topic. When I get the time, your suggestions for having more sources and points of view is a great idea. Thanks! Also, even though you disagree on this topic, thank you so much for being polite, and for reviewing neutrally. I don't think I even have the control to do that. Thanks again!



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70 Reviews

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Sun Oct 26, 2014 4:17 pm
Pan wrote a review...



While I understand what your point is, I do have some major topics that just bother me... You say, “All mothers sacrifice tremendously for the good of their children by offering their bodies, time and routines in a whole new way of life “
Is this just through birth, or are you talking about every day? Some mothers give up their children while they are still young, and some may regret it, but others have no intentions of ever seeing their child again.
In the next paragraph, you say “all mothers” again.
Some mothers might not feel the same. My mother has told me that she never once thought about having kids before meeting the man who fathered me. When asked where she thought she would be had she not been stuck with an idiotic man for 17 years of her life, she replied that she would have moved back to California.
Though she kept us and provided for us, my mother did not nurture me. I was taught at a young age that if you want something, then you must get it for yourself, because Mommy isn't always going to be there to hold your hand through it.
How does this relate to pro-life/pro-choice?
I am definitely on the side of pro-life, and so was my mother, but the difference between us is that she had no choice in the matter, so she was forced into being pro-life.
Anyday, I would choose to birth a child (though I am still much too young, in my opinion) over destroying it before it got a chance to really see what living is like.

In all, I agree with you in the pro-life aspect, but not all mothers feel as if they really got a choice in becoming a mother, but that small fraction that had no choice feels as if it is their duty to let this child live.
I hope I'm making sense.

Onto the actual review--
Your sentences are perfect, your parallel structure has no flaws, it's a really good piece. You get personal. Putting in the part about your mother and religion and the conceiving of you- aka, your back story, so you can tell that it's genuine and your passion and inner thoughts of this idea are strong and you have a very good sense of what you really believe in. I admire that you're so strong minded.

The way you started off with this essay is really strong, it's a perfect opening, and it really grabs your readers' attentions. Then you continue with your personal analysis of the quote, and what it means to you. Another good idea that you implemented here was relating the essay to you on an extremely personal level. You also use great grammar and have an outstanding vocabulary, which I love seeing in people younger than myself.

(I apologize for seeming creepy, I just want to comment that I admire you for having an amazing essay/article with the quality as high as it is for being someone of your age. It's not often that we see young people with minds such as yours.)

Reading this really made me think more about the peo-life/pro-choice debacle in it's entirety. Thanks, and have a happy review day!
Love, love, love this.
-Pen




torreygrace says...


Thank you so much. You're right though, I did assume things about all mothers. It is just that I had not had any experience like your own. Thank you for pointing that out! You didn't seem creepy at all either. Thank you for the review!



PenAndSword says...


No problem! And it's okay, I wouldn't know anything about having Catholic parents, so you have every right to assume things. Just keep in mind that poeple are different and not everyone is factory-settings same. It's extraordinary how everyone is unique in their own ways, so it's always good to remind yourself of that.
Like I've said before, it's really good, and I look forward to reading more of your work!



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Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:40 am
CardinalSouth wrote a review...



Hello!!! I'll attempt a review... a challenge indeed. This is flawless!!!

This story is actually the first that I've heard from the child's point of view! You always hear rants and rambles from the mothers, but never the children... Needless to say, this was definitely a new perspective!

If you look around, the majority of the nation is Pro Life. It killsssss me to hear about babies being killed every year as it does many many others! This is one thing about America: majority doesn't rule. That small minority is not ignored just because more people disagree with them. I find that extremely interesting... As you can see in the news, the minority is actually ruling because ABORTION IS STILL LEGAL!

Back to your story! (Sorry, I get side tracked veryyyyy easily) This was written beautifully! You had perfect sentence structure which kept me interested to keep reading (a common mistake many people fail to acknowledge) and your personality was bled into this! I can really tell that you are passionate about this and that the piece came straight from your heart! As a reader, this brings the piece even closer to my heart, and I don't even know you!!!

Babies have been killed off all throughout history. After all, history repeats itself. I was talking to my uncle the other day (he is a very passionate Christian), and he briefly described how babies have always been tossed aside by selfish mothers. Whether they were drowned in the river after birth or murdered pre-birth thanks to purpose mal-nutrician, it's always happened. Now the abortion rates are plummeting thanks to the guilt-free procedure they use nowadays. (Really, people...You wouldn't kill a 5 year-old or a 10 year old or a 30 year old....why would you not give a baby a chance to live? Ughhhhh)

Fun facts for you to share with family and friends:
-More babies are killed every single day than the total casualties of 9/11.
-Every day, the same amount of babies are killed (thanks to abortion) compared to every American that were killed in every U.S. battle in history combined.

Does anyone who's not Pro Life realize that that could've just as well been them? Your story opened my eyes to realize that YES! It could be ANYONE!! Any one person could be missing from your life thanks to this silent epidemic.

-Since it was legalized in 1973, there have been over 53 MILLION abortions in the U.S....53 MILLION BABIES WHO WILL NEVER FEEL THE SUN AND WILL NEVER BE TOUCHED AND LOVED AND HELD...53 MILLION WHO DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE.
-Planned Parenthood Founder Margaret Sanger says, "The most merciful thing a family does for one of its infants it kill it." ....I think I just threw up. No, well..I'm about to. My jaw is literally dropped.
-A study was held that discovered that 86% of all abortions occur for the sake of CONVENIENCE.

....
.........
I believe you were definitely right when you were talking about sacrifices for love...Convenience? That's sick...
Your mom is an awesome woman who took a bad situation and faced the consequences and in the end was rewarded with a passionate, intelligent, and creative child such as yourself. I don't know what more could be said here, so have a great and blessed day :)




torreygrace says...


Thank you so much! I knew abortion was wretched, and had its cold fingers stretched everywhere, but I had no idea that it was on such a big scale. It reminds me to pray more for the unborn, so thank you for that. Thank you so much for the review! :D





You're welcome!! :)



BookWolf says...


I bet than neither one of you knew that its not the majority OR the minority that rules America. Its the rich people. Its the rich, greedy people of this country. Did you know that we're the richest country by hundreds of billions of dollars? Which is sad because there are more people in poverty than people that live a decent life of middle-class or higher. I bet you didn't.

Sorry if I sound rude, but this is the ugly truth.

Also, if a woman is attacked by a man and gets pregnant, she deserves to get an abortion. ESPECIALLY if that woman happens to be a 14 year old girl. And yes, there are insane people who do that. Can you at least see where I coming from on this?



torreygrace says...


I can see where you are coming from, but what if your mother was that 14 year old girl, and that unborn child was you. Would you still want her to abort? Or is it the more merciful thing to have the mother give birth to the child and give it up for adoption. Otherwise, that child will never know what life is like, will never be held in its mother's arms, never take its first steps, never have friends, never have its first kiss, never grow up, get married and have children. Think of all of the good things that have happened in your life. Can you imagine being robbed of those? It is a terrible, terrible thing to be attacked and forced to conceive a child, but it is not your choice to decide whether it lives or dies. Do you get what I mean. Sorry if I came off rude, I am just very passionate about this. :)





The baby did nothing to deserve to die. So what if it was the product of something horrible? How many of us are actually 100% like our parents? I know for sure I'm not! Situations like those are where adoption comes in, not killing.


Random avatar
emeraldfox says...


If you don't mind me butting in...
In reference to @BookWolf and @torreygrace, if this 14-year-old mother were to have the child, but put her up for adoption, she would still have to quit school to give birth and may have a hard time getting back on her feet and finishing high school. By not allowing her to have an abortion, she would have two choices. Quit school altogether to raise the baby, facing economic difficulty and a lack of maturity to be a good mother, or put the baby up for adoption, getting off track to finish high school, which would lead to difficulty in college and career options later in life. Abortion should be legal in order to protect the well-being of both the mother and the baby.




"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites