Everyone was eying the clock on the creamy colored wall not minding the constant drawl from their (bald) maths teacher. They looked at the clock, as if it were some peculiar and exotic animal in a zoo and much more interesting than the teacher.
The class room was like a kiln. The fans worked only to push the cocktail of sweat and deodorant around the room. The sun reflected of Mr Grady's head like it was emitting the light, and it hurt Brett's eyes just to look in that direction. Brett looked down at his work instead. He had only attempted five questions in the one hour period. He frowned and raised his hand and scratched his hair, and making a "I'm puzzled gesture," as Mr Grady swept past towards the back of the room to break up an argument over who was entitled to the last piece of chewing gum. Brett waited, he knew what lay directly behind him, I must not look over there, I mustn't he thought to himself, he then took a big breath (like he was getting ready to blow into a balloon) and turned around slowly in his chair meaning to look over at Mr Grady.
But his heart melted and his jaw loosened.
She was like a magnet for his steel blue eyes, he couldn't look away. Brett licked his lips, they were dry and rough like sandpaper. He didn't care, he only cared for the girl with the shiny raven colored hair that was perfect in every way, even in the sauna like temperature of the class room it glowed and shimmered serenely. Brett yearned to feel her hair in his hands, to caress her angelic face and to get lost in her deep green eyes.
"Everything alright Brett?" Mr Grady inquired. He looked bored and he too eyed the clock on the wall.
Brett fluttered his eyes for a moment, he was still caught up in the moment. But he came to his senses in a hurry, he felt every pair of eyes were looking at him. Mr Grady was still looking impatiently down at him, it was awfully quite and he could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. Counting down the minutes to the bell.
Mr Grady inquired again, "Brett you look awfully dazed, you sure your alright?"
Before he could speak, a voice erupted from the front of the room, "Brett has the hots for Jasmine!" This was met by raucous laughter from everybody and even someone pounding the desk with his fist.
Brett could feel blood rush to his face and up his neck. He looked like he had been badly sun burnt.
"That's quite enough." Mr Grady said as he marched back to the front of the room. Brett didn't dare look up for the rest of the period, he was rewarded with an extremely stiff neck afterward.
Brett went immediately to his locker with his head down. Not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. He heard someone call out the old nursery rhyme about kissing in the tree. He ignored it and collected his bag and made for the end of the corridor and freedom.
The outside air was refreshing cool on his flushed skin, he breathed in heavily. It was sweet and crisp, he felt calmer like a drug addict finally getting his hit of cocaine.
It wasn't until he was nearing home that Brett did look up, his neck made a rather loud click, like when you click two coins together. The grass and shrubs on the nature's strip were beginning to shrivel and die, a side affect of the searing heat of the past week.
Brett began to whistle.
But a voice stopped him in his tracks. " Hey, wait up."
Brett stopped abruptly. He could hear footsteps behind him, he bit his lips and closed his eyes. He hoped it was all in his mind and it was only a stranger that walked past and not her.
No such luck.
She stopped next to Brett and looked up at him with a look of puzzlement on her face.
"Gee, before you couldn't stop looking at me and now you won't even acknowledge me?" Jasmine said, looking deeply into the side of Brett's jaw.
There was a brief pause, Brett only looked down the road not wanting to look at Jasmine, for fear of embarrassment or even abuse. Jasmine rolled her eyes and moved her face up and in toward Brett and kissed him on the cheek.
Brett finally looked down he looked star struck. (Or drunk) His attention was now purely on her and he half smiled down at her.
"Is that what you wanted? Or did you want more? They way you were looking at me was kind of creepy Brett." She said this and flirtatiously flicked her hair and began to walk again.
Brett started after her, he felt tongue tied and his throat was drier than ever. His cheek still buzzed with warmth from where she had kissed him.
He finally found what he thought was the right words to say during the circumstances. "Does this mean we are going out?" He asked dumbly, his eyes were sparkling like spring water.
Jasmine grabbed him around the waist tightly and said, "Going out where?"
Hey everyone thanks for the comments.
I understand the characters need more fleshing out, but I didn't want a too big of a story. But maybe that's just laziness on my part....
Thanks!
P.S: The thing about the teachers bald head is true. My maths teacher's head IS a light bulb, 
So I agree with the rest of them that this story could be a lot better with the help of more details on the characters. Maybe even more interesting with more of a conflict. Something to keep you guessing, or to make you relate to the piece. Over all, I really like this. It shows a lot of talent. Your similes are awesome! Sorry for my lack of correct terms, but that's the best word I could think of. Make sure to look over and edit your piece so that small mistakes like "off" being "of" can be demolished.
Other than that, great job, and I would love to read more. 
Hello there! Walker here with a review!
Alright, so, my structures 'Nit-Picks' and my overall so, on with the show!
Nit-Picks:
Everyone was eying the clock on the creamy colored wall not minding the constant drawl from their (bald) maths teacher.
They looked at the clock, as if it were some peculiar and exotic animal in a zoo and much more interesting than the teacher.
The fans worked only to push the cocktail of sweat and deodorant around the room.
The sun reflected of Mr Grady's head like it was emitting the light,
He frowned and raised his hand and scratched his hair, and making a "I'm puzzled gesture,"
Brett waited, he knew what lay directly behind him, I must not look over there, I mustn't he thought to himself, he then took a big breath (like he was getting ready to blow into a balloon) and turned around slowly in his chair meaning to look over at Mr Grady.
She was like a magnet for his steel blue eyes, he couldn't look away.
Brett licked his lips, they were dry and rough like sandpaper. He didn't care, he only cared for the girl with the shiny raven colored hair that was perfect in every way, even in the sauna like temperature of the class room it glowed and shimmered serenely. Brett yearned to feel her hair in his hands, to caress her angelic face and to get lost in her deep green eyes.
He looked bored and he too eyed the clock on the wall.
Brett fluttered his eyes for a moment, he was still caught up in the moment. But he came to his senses in a hurry, he felt every pair of eyes were looking at him. Mr Grady was still looking impatiently down at him, it was awfully quite and he could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall.
"Brett you look awfully dazed, you sure your alright?"
This was met by raucous laughter from everybody and even someone pounding the desk with his fist.
Brett didn't dare look up for the rest of the period, he was rewarded with an extremely stiff neck afterward.
Brett went immediately to his locker with his head down. Not wanting to meet anyone's gaze.
He heard someone call out the old nursery rhyme about kissing in the tree.
The outside air was refreshing cool on his flushed skin, he breathed in heavily. It was sweet and crisp, he felt calmer like a drug addict finally getting his hit of cocaine.
It wasn't until he was nearing home that Brett did look up, his neck made a rather loud click, like when you click two coins together. The grass and shrubs on the nature's strip were beginning to shrivel and die, a side affect of the searing heat of the past week.
.He could hear footsteps behind him, he bit his lips and closed his eyes
She stopped next to Brett and looked up at him with a look of puzzlement on her face.
"Gee, before you couldn't stop looking at me and now you won't even acknowledge me?" Jasmine said,
There was a brief pause, Brett only looked down the road not wanting to look at Jasmine
Brett finally looked down he looked star struck.
Brett started after her, he felt tongue tied and his throat was drier than ever.
He finally found what he thought was the right words to say during the circumstances.
He asked dumbly, his eyes were sparkling like spring water.
Hey, good story. I noticed a couple of grammar mistakes.
their (bald) maths teacher.
Mr Grady inquired
it was awfully quite and he could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. Counting down the minutes to the bell.
Brett finally looked down he looked star struck. (Or drunk) His attention was now purely on her and he half smiled down at her.
You are a good writer though and look forward to see more.i liked the your style of writing but a little more insight into the characters' (Brett and Jasmine) will make the stor much better.... otherwise good work. keep it up!!
So. I liked the way you've written the story. the descriptions. Especially the way you've described things like the Math teacher's pate shining so much that it was like a source of light. It made me laugh. There are some changes you could make, to make this better.
Firstly, you could tell us more about Brett. What sort of a person was he? Why did he start liking Jasmine? Were they friends from before? I felt that the develpopment of the main characters fell short. The reader doesn't know anything about Jasmine, except for her hair colour. Also, the way Jasmine easily falls for Brett is not that believable either. OR maybe it is, but the reader would be confused because they don't really know what sort of a person she is.
Secondly, I'd advise you edit out the starting and concentrate more on the latter part of the story, developing the characters, maybe decribing some moments between Jasmine and Brett towards the end.
I hope this review helps. I really enjoyed writing it. : )
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