Young Writers Society

I loved this poem, it was so beautiful! I loved how much description you used, how you describe all the different flower and how they were choking you. I really loved the last line, "So when you talk to me and I can't reply, just know that a paradise hides behind my silence." How you described the inside of you as a paradise, that it hides inside of you. Because if you ask someone to picture one they will most likely think flowers of all different colors everywhere, lush green trees, and a beautiful beach, something along that line. The first thing I think when I think about a paradise are the flowers, you did a great on that.

This leaves me thinking, what is so bad it can choke you, or why are you feeling that you are choking. This is something that leaves me wondering, which is a great thing too, because it something that the reader will wonder about too, which makes your poem more rememberable.

My favorite lines where.

"There is no weed killer, no poison that can get rid of them. The garden in my mouth thrives and blooms, even in winter, when I'm sure they must die. No drought kills them, no hunger; they live on my blocked-out sentences and frustration."

These lines are my favorite because there is nothing that can kill the flowers that are silencing the speaker. The speaker conveys the flowers as unmovable, that their are indestructible, and you can't get rid of them.

Overall I absolutely loved your poem, you had so much description, and I loved how you described the flowers as choking. Great job, can't wait to read what you write next!

Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL

I absolutely love this poem! I really enjoyed that you used beautiful imagery (flowers, petals) while relating it to the choking words. At the end you equate this garden as a paradise which is very smart because one would imagine a paradise being flowers or a beautiful garden as you described. the reality is that the "paradise" is what is keeping you silent and i personally love that because sometimes when you're being silenced the source of that is not always outwardly negative so that is really advanced thinking.

after reading this, it leaves me wondering just what could be choking you, what or who is making you feel this way and what appearance does this force or person portray that may come across as a garden from paradise that has negative & silencing qualities? you transformed a beautiful thing into an invasive entity and you conclude the visuals perfectly with your ending line. to me a great poem can be interpreted many different ways which this one can be, so really well done!!

favorite lines: " Vines sew my lips shut, making sure only whispered whimpers escape, and waxy tulips surround my vocal chords with muffled petals." love the use of alliteration

"No drought kills them, no hunger; they live on my blocked-out sentences and frustration."

Hi! Here's my review of this lovely poem:
I was a bit confused by the last phrase

just know that a paradise hides behind my silence.

Words choke me.