Published November 10, 2016
Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
And it just took a puff..u should try it and then
there's a no point of return..its infinite dark galaxy of smoke and cuff..and
ultimately death.
As he was standing there purchasing what he thinks 'cool'..I was there thinking how to resolve this issue.When he took his roll ,he gives it all the power to deteriorate his mind and soul..soul which is so pristine and still childish. He came near me and I was standing still. He came closer till a point I had no choice of denying but to look deep into his magnetic stare and forget my philosphy for a while.I took the roll and I learnt how to do it..I learned it more for my curiosity than his... One puff lead to another then another and then as it was on completion..he took it in his hands and told me it was enough for a day. I began wondering that how does so weird smelling substance can engulf your senses and make you numb..how can such a thing can be addictive?
People are really loons as when they think that they need to forget the world for a while and relieve stress..they turn to this roll. I mean really? If you are so indulgent in relieving stress dude..why don't u go in washroom and indulge in self-entertainment. It also relieves stress and plus it gives pleasure...and it doesn't lead to cancer...but it can be addictive too.
The point is why people turn to this..only those who do it can answer and i definitely want an answer!
There are so many things which do not come with an answer ...they are just happening.Society is turning a pithole and we want change ..especially in this addictive habit.
Don't let this roll destroy your senses and don't give it power enough to take you.
Rest depended upon you.
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138,627 Literary Works • 672,183 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm, well this is certainly the sort of message that immediately stands out here. Combined with this opening that we have here and that title, it is pretty clear exactly where this is trying to go and well it is a very powerful place here from what I'm seeing at the moment. You've managed to create something that immediately catches your attention here and tells you in no uncertain terms exactly what the goal is and said goal I assume is to inform people of how powerful of an addiction smoking can be. At any rate, this is a strong first half here. There are a couple of issues there with some spelling but nothing that a good second look can't fix.
Okayyy, so I have to say that there are a few grammatical issue, minor ones, but they are still present regardless, and the spelling too could do with some polishing up. So I think maybe a run through a spellchecker and just a generic second look are absolutely necessary here because they are numerous enough to make the reading experience a bit more difficult, but the message here though is quite amazing. I think you've really done a great job on that, and it really speaks to people. Its not the most inspiring or long thing out there, but I think it gets its point across quite nicely in the end and in a way that people can understand.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hello there, Tiyu!
This is Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^
Now I see that the title is "Power of a Puff" and although this next part may seem intentional, it sounds like "Powerpuff Girls." Whether or not this is intentional, it makes this hard to takes seriously. It's a serious topic, but the title should be a summary of what is to come next. The title certainly isn't generic, but it isn't fitting for what the work is about.
The narrative was definitely something that distinguishes the work from all other works about the same message, but the whole backstory on why smoking is bad has been done before and isn't original.
The readability could use some improvement. You're trying to convey a serious message, to I'd take your grammar seriously. Don't abbreviate words, it makes your story as serious as a text message. The ellipses interrupt the flow and aren't really needed. If you want to stop so badly, I'd use a comma. This could just be a style preference, but I don't see the need for every word to be in bold. Minor thing: There should be a space after every period. It also makes things not look so smushed together.
I hope this review helps you out! ^-^
Hi there! Plagueratbabe here for a review! so, overall a really good story and you are able to deliver a very powerful message really well! I would be careful with some of your tenses though on some sentences! The word choice is interesting and i love how it flows in a stream of conciousness, thats a very unique way to write! I'd be careful with your capitalization but overall a really good story and you are able to communicate deep emotion and a deep message really well! cant wait to see more!
Good! I sensed a service announcement kind of vibe from it.
Ya it was a service kind of stuff