hey there! well you already know that i emailed my review to you. I also think it would help you to get more reviews on this if you posted this in chapters, like they said, or perhaps do some reviews yourself! remember that there is a 2 review rule for everything you post, so make sure to spend time and help other writers. email me if you have any questions, I'd be glad to help

Hey there! Today I am going to review everything by chapter. I'm sorry if I am harsh, I don't want to hurt your feelings, (:

Editing will be in red.
Blue is highliting a sentence.

Chapter One
It was shortly after sundown, but it was darker than usual, it was a new moon and I was sat at my dressing table. #FF0000 ">This sentence reads like a run-on sentence. Try putting a period after usual. Also try rewording.I stared into the eyes of the girl looking back at me from inside the mirror#FF0000 ">. She had rich brown hair that glinted red in the candle light, and pointed elvin ears. Delicate red lips, and pale skin. In contrast with her dark hair, her skin seemed paler still. But looking into the forest green eyes-eyes brighter than most, the eyes of a hypnotist-they still scared me a little. #FF0000 ">Doesn't flow right.I rose from my chair, walked over to my bed and pulled back the quilts. I sat down and blew out the candle. I didn’t hear the door open, they came like shadows. Seven of them in blood red cloaks, I couldn’t see their faces but I knew they meant me harm. I kept my Quiver and my hunting horn under my bed, so I drew them from their hiding place, leapt from my bed and went to put the horn to my lips. But they were as fast as I was; they had it out of my hand the very same second it was at my lips. I didn’t want to lose my bow and arrows too, possibly my only chance of escape, so I kept them hidden. They threw a cloak, the same as theirs around me and bound my hands behind my back. I tried to scream, but they gagged me. But then I remembered the small leather book on my night stand. My journal. The one book with every answer#FF0000 ">.I went to grab it, but forgot how fast they were. At that moment I thought I hadn’t a hope in the world.

#FF0000 ">Maybe before her getting onto the horse, describe how they brought her to the horse. Did the drag her? Carried her? Try making that more clear.
I remember them lifting me onto a horse, and leading me into the woods away from Lyndingon. I must have fallen asleep then; I honestly don’t know how I managed it. #FF0000 ">This doesn't sound like something someone would do. If I was kidnapped, I wouldn't fall asleep.It was so uncomfortable. It was then I had one of those strange dreams again, almost a nightmare, but not quite. I’d been having a lot of those strange dreams lately, it would always be one or two days before, and then I’d wake up and it would happen again. #FF0000 ">I'm sorry, this doesn't make sense to me.Just not in my dream, it would be real the second time. I was so afraid of something going wrong, and having to live in my nightmare. It was then I reali#FF0000 ">zed that the men that had kidnapped me were the king of Aelwan’s men. Aelwan lies beyond the western woods, and was ruled by the most terrifying king. But he didn’t scare me in the slightest.

I awoke in a cell of dull grey stone, the most depressing place I’d ever seen. The morning light pouring through the window, casting the shadows of the metal bars onto the cold, hard floor. #FF0000 ">I like this description.I still had my quiver on my back, hidden by the cloak, and there were only two guards. They both looked rather tired; if I was quick I could get just one of them close enough to compel him and get the key, then fire an arrow at the other I could escape. But even if I did, my journal had probably made it into the hands of the king by now. With that book, my people had no hope. The king of Aelwan had always wanted Lyndingon, he saw my people as a liability. But with my journal at his hand, and me in here, it would be only a matter of time before he declared a war.

Just as I was about to put my plan into action, a tall man glided in#FF0000 ">, rousing the sleeping guards. But this man wore not only a red cloak, but the crown of Aelwan. I’d seen it only once before, but I’d know it anywhere. The king and his men had tried to reach Lyndingon before when I was #FF0000 ">ten, but were turned away when he reached the western woods. The spirits of the trees, or as my people call them Dryads, chased them away after my father, his men and I had rode out to see what the problem was. #FF0000 ">Again, confusing to me.One of the Dryads had come in the night to warn us, so we turned them away knowing only bad things would come of letting them pass. But I had maps in my journal with routes winding around the western woods to Lyndingon. Which is why I remained sat in the corner, silent.

The king strode over to the wooden door, and beckoned the guard with the key to unlock the door. I knew if I tried to escape, they’d just have me locked up in this god forsaken cell at the snap of his fingers.

“The Elvin Princess, Rhoslyn is it?” He said this with a smug smile spread across his face. If he knew I had my bow and arrows under the cloak it would be a completely different story.

“You know full well who I am; otherwise you wouldn’t have sent your men to kidnap me in my sleep would you? Speaking of which, how did you get past the forest?”. He rested his hand on his sword hilt, and I suddenly reali#FF0000 ">zed what he meant. “You didn’t? You monster! You can’t just ride in on your high horse, cutting down the most beautiful forest known to this world! Your despicable, you obnoxious beast!”

“You will learn to hold your to#FF0000 ">ngue, or lose it!” the king roared, I rose from the floor and took a step towards him,

“And you will learn that I will NOT take orders from a cold hearted coward of a man!” He nodded at the guard again, and he slammed the door in my face and locked it again. #FF0000 ">Instead of using all caps, try using italics.I watched him walk away, with a stare that could have given him a headache, and I returned to the corner and slid down in defeat.

My eyes were growing heavy, but I knew I could not fall asleep. Not even #FF0000 ">for a second. But then I remembered, the dagger I kept tied to my leg. I checked to see if the guards were watching, but they were both mumbling in their sleep#FF0000 ">. I smiled to myself and lifted my skirts. I pulled my hands apart as far as the bonds would stretch, and started cutting at the rope. I’d got them lose, but not lose enough that I could pull them apart, or slip them over my hands. When I heard the door creek open, muffled footsteps crept down the short path leading to my cell, and the shadow of a man came closer and closer. At first I thought it must be the king or one of his men, so I hid my knife and asked myself why he would go to such an effort to stay unnoticed. He had come to kill me. I clasped my hand around my bow, and the other pulled on the arrow. #FF0000 ">Wait, I thought you said that her hands were tied still. Try editing it. (Sentence in blue)I slowed my breathing hoping that it would seem I was asleep, but then the shadow stopped moving and he turned his head. Its pace quickened and it ran towards me, I got ready to fire when the hood of the cloak the figure was wearing fell. Revealing the face of a handsome young boy. Red-brown hair fell to his shoulders in lose curls. His eyes were a deep, rich brown. He stood almost as high as the door, his face was kind. Warm even, and he looked maybe #FF0000 ">fourteen, no older than #FF0000 ">fifteen.
“Princess Rhoslyn, you must come with me. Quickly”. His voice portrayed the same kindness and warmth of his face. It was rich with understanding, it sounded almost as if he cared.

“Who are you?”, I drew my arrow, I didn’t know what to think. He may have looked and sounded kind, but this was Aelwan, and in Aelwan trust is hard to come by.

“#FF0000 ">My name is Orin, son of king Aldaren. I’ve come not to harm you, but to help you. We must go, now!”

“So, youv'e come to rescue me? I hate to tell you this, but I am in no need of rescuing. Especially by the king of Aelwan's son! And anyway, how do I know I can trust you?”
#FF0000 ">Prince Orin reached into his pocket and pulled out a scruffy, old leather book the size of his hand. My journal! “Where did you get that?”

“Princess you must come with me, now! I assure you, I am nothing like my father. I believe this belongs to you,” he handed my journal to me and smiled. When he smiled, his face lit up. He was perfect.

“What will you do? Your father will know you helped me.”

“I’m coming with you.” He produced a silver key from the same pocket and unlocked the door. “Quickly, someone will have heard that.”

“Wait#FF0000 ">, the guards. I think I can buy us some time.” I ran over to the sleeping guards and shook one of them. He opened his eyes slowly, and opened his mouth to scream. I put my finger to my lips, and he stopped. From the corner of my eye I could see Orin watching me with a questioning look on his face. I turned back to the guard and whispered, “You will tell no one I have gone, or where I have gone. Nor will you tell of the boy’s part in this, if they ask I am still in my cell.” I repeated this on the other and turned to face Orin. “Ask them where I am,” Orin stepped past me and looked from one to the other, then asked

“Where is the girl?” he smiled at me and waited for an answer.

“In her cell Sir”. The two men answered in unison. Orin looked like he was impressed, but was trying hard to hide it. “Just in case,” I took the key from Orin and pushed the two men into the cell and locked them both in.
“Come on, and thank you. You didn’t have to do that; you could have compelled me as well. Locked me in there too, but you did#FF0000 ">n't. Thank you.”
“Come on then, if you’re sure you want to come with me. You don’t have to.”

“I know.” He smiled at me again, the same perfect smile as before and held out his hand.

“Thank you.” I slid my hand into his, and with the other I pulled the hood of the cloak over my head, hiding my face. Orin did the same, and together we ran through what seemed like hundreds of the same dull, grey cells. Orin’s sword drawn, and my arrow ready to fire at anyone who crossed our path.

It wasn’t long before we came across three cloaked guards; Orin was at the first with his sword and had him down in half a second. I got the other, and I think the last got it the worst when we both went for him. We kept running, it was impossible to think Orin knew his way out of there#FF0000 ">. To me it all looked the same.

When we eventually reached the door it took both of us to get it open. It was an old wooden door with iron nails and bolts. We stepped outside only to find five more guards, but we had them all down in seconds. Orin led me around the corner where a jet black stallion with warm brown eyes stood, and as if it knew we needed it.
“This is #FF0000 ">Beauty,” He gestured for me to get up first, so I put my foot in the stirrup and pulled myself up as swiftly as I could. I slid myself back in the saddle so that he could sit in front of me and take the reins. And we set off towards the forest.

It didn’t take long before we were deep inside the forest, but I was beginning to wonder what was going to happen next. It wouldn’t be long, and someone was bound to notice Prince Orin’s absence, maybe a little longer until they noticed I was missing. Curiosity was beginning to get the better of me#FF0000 ">.
“So, what next? We can’t run forever, Beauty will need rest and food.” At that Orin pulled slightly on the reins and Beauty slowed to a walking pace.

“I have a friend not far from here we can stay with him,”

“Who is he?” I didn’t know if we could trust his ‘friend’, what #FF0000 ">if word got out to the king?

“My uncle. But it’s ok. He hates my father. Wait. No, that sounds...a bit...strange. Well he never liked my father to begin with. But then, when my mother died my uncle thought it was his fault. He’ll keep us safe, I promise.”

“Ok, how much further?” I was beginning to relax a little now.

“Not long, we’ll be there by sunrise. His name is Red#FF0000 ">.”

“Your father doesn’t know where he lives does he?”

“No, you’ll understand when we get there.”

Hello Tinkerfee! I am here to review your novel. I must first say, though, that I only read Chapter One. You might consider splitting up their chapters on their own? It'll be a lot easier for people to read, keep up with, and review your novel that way. I'd first like to say that I think you've got some interesting stuff thrown into the mix. The fact that a king kidnapped an Elvin princess, cut down a whole forest... that's some heavy conflict you're laying down! I do have a few things I'd like to point out to you about the writing, and hopefully it'll help you more in the end.

Hello, My Name is...Character

I'd like to talk about the way you introduced us to your character:

I stared into the eyes of the girl looking back at me from inside the mirror, she had rich brown hair that glinted red in the candle light, and pointed elvin ears. Delicate red lips, and pale skin. In contrast with her dark hair, her skin seemed paler still. But looking into the forest green eyes-eyes brighter than most, the eyes of a hypnotist-they still scared me a little.