Published January 31, 2006
The train moves like a
Heavy ghost, just tired with the
burden of haunting.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,396 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
well this is def a haiku and i like the imagery a lot but i prefer it when the sentences don't go over more than one line - that's just me of course and not everyone is going to think that so don't worry too much.
i like the idea of a 'heavy' ghost as ghosts are always thought of as being pretty weightless. lol
good work. keep it up.
~KayJuran~
This was cool. It reminds me of the movie "Spirited Away" and the train in that. Good movie too. That's a cool description of a train though. Cool.
I think this is really cool. Kind of a confusing imagery, but it worked out after a little thought.
Nice to have poems which make you think, versus decoding.
Soft and pretty.
"Tired with the burden of haunting" is a great image. Or idea or whatever.
Nice job. You say alot with so few words.
the train...haunts? alright.
besides the slight confusion, i thought this was rather good.