Ars Poetica

I liked this- it was very sweet and tender. It really flowed nicely, and was very imaginative. There isn’t really anything for me to critique… at least in my opinion. Good job!

timjim77 wrote:If I had it my way, you'd be my poem.
I’d write you beneath bittersweet
Willows, weeping for lost
Seasons of ripening.
And you would flow from my pen
Like inspiration, and I would be possessed
By spirits of sleeping bards.

I’d fold you tenderly in eight
Simple creases, and slip you
Into my pocket, feeling your genius
Against my thigh
As I rush home to look at you
Freshly.

And at a second glance,
I see you are not flawless.
So, I rewrite my thoughts,
And the smudges and blots
Make you far more beautiful.

I liked this. It seemed sweet and kind of simple, but in a good way.

Comparing someone you love to a poem (Is that right? Sorry if I'm getting the wrong message)... That's very original and cool. I love the second stanza, especially "feeling your genious against my thigh as I rush home to look at you freshly." Putting freshly on it's own line was really great. "I'd fold you tenderly in eight simple creases" was another bit I liked alot; it seems really gentle and loving.

I guess the only nitpick I have is that the third stanza, which was really good and fit well with the concept of the poem, just doesn't seem like an ending somehow. Like, I wanted just a litle bit more to complete it. I don't know what to suggest though...

Anyway, great poem. Thanks for posting.

EDIT: I like the title too.

The only thing I had a problem with was this line:

So, I rewrite my thoughts,

It doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the poem. I liked it besides that. Flowed well and was a nice, light read.