How To Survive Opening Day At Lincoln Park As A Lit Major

Congratulations. You have made it into the school that you have been dying to get into since your freshman year - Lincoln Park Performing Arts Charter School (or LPPACS for short). You are as eager as the Energizer Bunny, bouncing about your humble abode. All of your friends had applied, and luckily, you were the one who got in. Wonderful.

Now, before you go all out to the nines, pretending you are the cat's meow and deserve a medal, take a reality check. You have gotten into a prestigious school for performing arts, yes, but that does not give you the right to act like you are better than everyone else, even if you are a prodigy. There others with the same amount of talent, maybe more than you, so keep your trap shut.

You approach your bus stop with a bright smile on your face. You are overly ecstatic about getting on the bus that you arrive half an hour early. Your bus comes at 7:30, dear, not seven on the dot. You do not need to be there as the doors to your old school open. They do not matter in the slightest anymore. Unless you have old friends there, then they matter. But as for the rest of that school's population - forget about them. You will have a whole new group of peers to attempt to befriend. No need to try and kiss up to the old ones.

The bus finally pulls up and you are the first to get on. When you get on, you find a seat in the middle and begin socializing. Stop. If someone talks to you, respond. Do not, for the love of all that is holy, start the conversation. It may be your first year, but you don't have to act like it. Put your headphones in and listen to something loud. Put a Marilyn Manson album on repeat or something. By the time the album is done, you will be at the school.

After forty-five minutes, give or take, you will make it to the new school. While the new first years are "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" at the large main building, you will sit calm. You saw the building when you had your audition - no need to get all excited. You step off of the bus and find yourself walking along with a group of people into the newly built Alumni Hall. It’s the wide-set building with two floors and a cafeteria. Yes, Madame Chicken Fingers, that’s where you’ll “be grubbin’” with your future friends.

You step inside and are surrounded by people, both student and faculty. You make your way through them and into the cafeteria, where you are now fully immersed into a crowd of your peers. Push your way to the back, by the doors to the park. They won’t be open, but there should be a small group of people sitting or standing over there. You take notice to their Rolling Stones tee shirts and skinny jeans and immediately run up to introduce yourself. Keep calm. If they are anything cool, you might turn them off with an over-exuberant attitude.

You calmly introduce yourself and start chatting. When asked your major, be honest. There isn’t a single major that you should be embarrassed to be a part of. Well, except for Heath & Sciences. Yes, that’s actually a major offered at LPPACS. Why, you may ask. Well, I could go on some huge rant about the ignorant douche-balloons on our basketball team that only get into this school for their ability to shoot baskets with one hand, but I’ll keep it short. We don’t have all day.

Someone in the administration thought that it would be a good idea for a performing arts school to have a sports team. I’m sorry, but you will come to notice that most of us don’t even like to be physically active, let alone on a sports team sweating like two “large and in charge” horses in the Kentucky Derby. We have dancers and Musical Theatre students who do all of that physical activity garbage. Oh, and here’s a little reminder - don’t take phys ed. I know that’s pretty much common sense, but there’s another option that’s just as fulfilling. Opt for the Independent Study. No, that’s not an online class. It’s another word for a work log. Just write down 72 hours of physical activity and you’ll be set to go. Seventy-two hours may be a bunch, but if you have an after school job or walk home from the bus, your hours are set right there. If you end up having a little less than you need, just fill in some complete garbage that you think of on the spot. No need for extra sweating. Just the stroke of a pencil or pen on the paper. Simple as that.

After you’ve made a couple friends, you begin to really see the cliques and how they fit in with the departments. Dance kids hang around with Musical Theatre and Theatre. They’re all happy, bubbly kind of kids that really make you want to vomit your guts out. Trust me, honey, they hate each other, too. They just hang around each other because they all have to take arts classes together. If it weren’t for those classes, they’d be just as far away from each other as I am from the main-entree dishes at lunch. I advise you, if you see something that you can’t tell what it is on the menu, don’t do it. Seriously. That and the hot dogs. Don’t you dare.

The music kids really keep to their own department. They’re all pompous, cocky kids who think that their bowels don’t smell. C’mon, no one is a bottle of air-freshening Febreeze from the waist down. Everyone’s a little gross every now and again. The music kids really just take their instruments and play together because they have a problem with wanting everyone to adore their skills.

Okay, so that sounds like a fun group of teenagers, right? No. You’ll be lucky to find a few that aren’t the stereotype in those departments, but then you get a look at Health & Sciences. You hear the loud raps and curses of “Lil’ Weezy” and his “homies” blaring from the Dre Beats of some basketball players and you realize that I was right. They are their stereotype. Basketball jocks who think that dancing is some “gay shit” and the only reason to go onto the second floor at all when class lets out unless absolutely necessary is to catch a sight of some stick thin broad in her tights. It’s like an awkward episode of Girls Gone Wild gone wrong - horribly wrong. All of the dancers are getting changed out of their tights for academic classes and will in no way have any couth when it comes to people walking by. Trust me. I’ve seen some things that no person in high school ever should, despite what you’d hear on MTV.

You ignore the Health & Science majors and take notice to some kids sitting in the corner, some on their laptops, others calmly chatting about their summers and whatnot. This, my dear, is what I call home - the Literary Arts students. They are the type of kids that will sit around and have a mature conversation about futures, colleges, and all that, but also may crack the occasional joke that you’ll only understand if you’re in that department. They’re not completely unapproachable, but they still aren’t the type that you’d run up to and immediately start a conversation about deep personal issues with. Well, except other first years like yourself. They would do that, but only because they haven’t learned how to keep it cool yet. They’re still fresh off of the boat, well, bus.

You’ll see other kids hanging around the Literary kids. They will either look hipstery-artistic or anime to the nines. That is the media department. Yes, photography is a form of media. But not iPhone photography. Sure, it can be cool to do iPhone photography at times, but if you’re trying to be successful in the media department, get a real camera. It’ll cost you some bucks, but it’ll help you out.

You’ve seen all of the departments and now it’s time to walk on through to the main theatre for your opening ceremonies. Yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like. They call up every single staff member, apart from janitorial staff and security guards, to bid everyone a welcoming gesture into the school. After you’re let out of there, you go to a classroom where you will be taking your benchmark tests. Don’t even start complaining. There is a test on the first day, but it’s just to see where you are from an educational standpoint. If you’re going to expect something extremely difficult, think again. You’ll finish them early and talk to the person to your right. You get off to a good start. He’s a music major. You think he’s pretty cute. Stop. Seriously, don’t you even think about it.

The top rule on the long list of things not to do is date someone from Lincoln Park. Trust me, I’ve done it. It will only end with you in tears. All of the guys that come to Lincoln Park are so into their talents that they are too cocky for comfort. They think that they can have what they want when they want and, honey, you’re not going to fall for that poppycock bullshit. Be his friend, sure, but nothing more. You’re too good for that.

Suddenly, the door opens and a thin woman with a bob cut walks in to greet the classroom full of people. Her name is Miss Deborah Price. She’s one of the two guidance counselors. Yes, we have two of them. There are some screwed up little nasties at LPPACS and they have to go visit the counselors for some sessions. The counselors also do scheduling and all of that stuff, so if you have a question about that, just schedule an appointment with the gray-haired little lady at the desk on the third floor. That’s Misses Jean Grafton, the guidance counselors’ secretary. She makes the appointments and helps you with printing copies if you need them; which you will. Especially because students run to get copies a lot. It’s not a that bad of a thing. The walk from the classroom to the printers is quite relaxing, but it can still be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Miss Price calls out names in alphabetical order and eventually, she will get to yours. You walk up and pick up your sheet of paper and when you look down, it’s nothing special. Thank the heavens, you have one of the normal ones. Your friend with the dreamy eyes has a few blank spots in his schedule and needs to have an appointment with one of the counselors to get that space filled. Your schedule doesn’t have a single blank space and thankfully, you have the ideal class lineup. Lincoln Park uses a block-scheduling system, so you have four classes a day. Your academics are the same every day, but your arts can alternate days. For example, your schedule has Algebra II first block and Biology second block. Those classes will never change for eighteen weeks. You then have Film Studies on Tuesdays and Thursdays third block. There will be a little spot on your schedule for the rest of the week third block that says LI Lab. That is computer lab time, or as I like to call it, Sleep Central. For those who don’t have an online class (don’t take one, by the way), you sit and do nothing for an hour and a half. That’s perfect sleeping time. You will absolutely love it!

Fourth block is the kicker. That’s where your artistic flare is really getting put into place. You have Survey Fiction and Poetry. Those are your first semester first-year courses in the Literary Arts Department. You will be with your kind, but it’s not all roses and happiness. You will learn how to properly write both fiction and poetry, as well as Creative Nonfiction and Screenwriting in the second semester. It sounds like a drag to most, but you know different. Pay attention in those classes and take constant notes. You are pretty late in the game, a junior in a group of mostly students a grade level or more below you. You need to be at the top of the class and make it known that you deserve to be there. That’s what makes for success. Thinking of ways to be successful may be beneficial, but actually executing the plan will make you what you want to be.

I don’t mean to get all cuckoo crazy on you, but that’s how it’s got to be. You are going to be a student at a school where you had to work to be accepted. You had to show that you have what it takes to be somebody in a group of others who are the exact same way. You have got to work hard and really kick some donkey-booty if you’re ever going to make it to graduation. There’s no giving up. Sure, you can leave if you want to and go back to your home school, but what will that solve? You need to discover and conquer all of your new tasks. You have discovered this school and now all you need to do is conquer. You need to work hard and strive to be the best. Lincoln Park may seem like it’s going to be easy, but it’s not. You will have to work harder than ever before to be strong in what you love to do. It’s no joke; nor a walk in the park. Take it seriously, and you will be something great. You will be the best.