Young Writers Society

This poem was really great! I enjoyed reading it and I found it interesting, had good humor creative and it seems like you put a lot of thought and effort into writing this piece of poetry.

I haven't got much to critique on this so this will be a very short review.

As much as I loved it there were some moments when you went off rhythm but there weren't many of those.

And he also comes with a bonus;
A helpful doctor friend
While your man does all the thinking,
His assistiant sees you through to the end

Here you misspelled "assistant" remember to spell-check.

You need him to keep a secret?
Just tell him so at the start.
He’ll swear his live to secrecy
He’ll never tell any part

The second line feels a bit off to me anyways, I'd just remove the word "so."


That's all i have to say really so keep writing and well done

-Infinity x

Hey, Trav!

This was a refreshing piece to read and I enjoyed it. Your play with words is nice and the flow goes along quite smoothly. I'm already a fan of Sherlock Holmes so you had me in all along.

Having said that, I think you need to work on your syllable count and rhyming. I just love rhyming poems. And when they are done correctly, the entire poem itself becomes magical to read and lends an immense and immersive experience to the reader. The rhyming structure is brilliant. And indeed one of my favourite ones to use for myself.

You could have reduced the fillers in the lines. Well, they aren't exactly fillers, but they do prolongue the line and hinder interest as the end when the line actually does rhyme. For example:

But he’s at his most incredible
When he applies his knowledge to crime
He can deduce from the subtlest of clues
Your riddle will be solved in no time

OOOOH! SHERLOCK HOLMES! WATSON!IIIII I love those two! It's the first time I've actually seen a poem on them so kudos to you. I think it was very well written and an enjoyable poem to read all the way through. It's creative and entertaining. Thanks for sharing!

This is so funny! It's really good, no wonder you got published. Keep writing, I'd love to read more of your work.

This was a poem I wrote, kinda by accident, and managed to get myself published for it!
Here's a link to the place where you can buy the book:

http://www.bookdepository.com/Sherlocks ... 1780922256

Cheers,
Trav