z

Young Writers Society



“Ticks”

by thething912


“Ticks”

Main Characters:

Mike: the evil doctor

Joan: the evil doctor's assistant

Introduction

Mike is an evil scientist who has been working on creating a growth formula. He is from italy. And, he weres glasses. He has black hair and is 6 feet tall.

When he speak he speaks with an italian accent.

Act One: The presentation.

Scene One: The presentation.

Setting: Auditorium.

Mike is standing at the podium.

Mike: "Silence please."

Everyone stops talking. Mike is now pointing to his charts.

Mike: "As you can see from these charts, if we keep the funding, the prices will go up. "

Doctor1: "How can you be sure of this?"

Mike: "Well, the charts show that they will go up. Plus, I've been conducting test to see how the market is working."

Doctor1: "What did you utilize to test your experiment? Did you look at the Johnson theory?"

Mike: "Um, no."

Doctor1:"You didn't look at it?"

Mike: "No."

Doctor1: "Did you look at any theories?"

Mike: "No."

Mike runs out of the building in embarrassment.

Act Two. Humiliation.

Scene One: The newspaper.

Setting: The living room.

Mike is reading the newspaper.

The newspaper reads: "Mike Wonson is the stupidest person in the world."

Scene Two: TV.

TV:" Mike Wonson ran out of the science convention today."

Mike turns the TV off.

Act Three. Suicide.

Scene One: Self harm.

Setting: The living room.

Mike is sitting on the sofa with a gun pointed at his head.

Mike: "Should I kill myself?"

Mike goes to read the paper again.

Paper: "Doctor1 will be at the scientist convention in Tampa today."

Mike stops reading the newspaper.

Act Four: Murder.

Scene One: Murder plan.

Setting: The living room.

Mike: "With this gun I shall kill the doctor.

Mike drives to the convention.

Scene Two: The convention.

Setting: The scientist convention.

Mike: "Remember me?"

Mike pulls out his gun and kills the doctor.

Man1: yelling:" Someone call the police!"

A woman goes to call the police.

Woman1: "An evil man just killed someone."

Police: "We will be right there."

The police show up and arrest Mike.

Act: Five: The court.

Scene One: The Trial

Setting: The courtroom.

Judge: "How do you plead?"

Lawyer: "Not guilty."

A few hours go by.

Judge: "How do you find the defendant?"

Jury: "Not guilty, due to reasons of insanity."

Judge, "We are going to have to run some tests to see if he really is insane."

The test are done and the Judge comes back.

Judge: "Okay, case closed."

Act Five: The mental institution.

Scene One: A new friend.

Setting; Inside a mental institution.

Mike is introduced to Joan.

Joan: "Hello!"

Mike: "Hello!"

Joan: "How are you?"

Mike: "I'm fine. And you?

Joan: "I'm fine. What is your name?"

Mike: "My name is Mike. And yours?"

Joan: "My name is Joan."

Mike: "That's a nice name."

Joan: "Thanks."

Scene Two: The escape plan.

Joan: "I have a plan to escape."

Mike: "Let's hear it."

Joan: "We are going to bash one of the men over the head and take his clothes."

Mike: "Good notion, let's do it."

Scene Three: The escape from the institution.

Mike and Joan hit a man over the head and drag him into the closet, take his clothes, and get out safely.

Act Six: A new laboratory

Scene one: A new labortory.

Setting: A remote area.

Joan and Mike go to a remote area and open up a laboratory.

Act Seven: The laboratory.

Scene One: The experiment.

Setting: Laboratory.

Mike and Joan are standing in the middle of the laboratory and there are machines all about the laboratory.

Joan: "Doctor, what evil chemical shall we utilize?"

Mike:" Give me chemical Z."

Joan gives the doctor chemical Z.

Mike: "With this chemical, I shall make a formula for mass growth."

Mike pours the chemical into a glass container full of ticks. The ticks begin to grow.

Mike: "Yes, it worked! Now we can sell the chemical for massive amounts of money."

Inconspicuously, the ticks escape from the container. Mike goes to look at the ticks.

Mike: "Were are the ticks?"

Joan: yelling: "Aah!"

The ticks suck the blood of Joan and kill her. Mike tries to stop them but it's too late. The ticks rip off his head and suck his blood.

Scene Two: The escape.

Setting: The laboratory.

The ticks find a window and escape.

Act Eight: Beginning of the killing.

Scene One: The first killing.

Setting: Outside.

The town's person: "Hello Bob! How are you?"

Bob: "Fine. And you? I need to go to the pharmacy to pick up medicines for my wife."

The town's person: "Okay."

Bob goes to his truck where a tick is waiting to suck his blood.

Bob: fearfully yelling: "Aah!"

The town's person quickly turns around to see that his friend is having the blood sucked out of him. He goes inside to get his gun; he fires the gun at the tick. He kills the tick, but unfortunately, another tick comes and rips his head off and starts to suck his blood.

Scene Two: The camp ground.

Setting: A camp.

A few people are standing around a campfire. There are tents in the background.

Woman1: "Honey, could you pass the marshmallows?"

Man2: "Sure."

Man one goes to get the marshmallows in the tent and discovers that his daughter is missing. The man runs back to his wife.

Man2: "Where's Courtney?"

Woaman2: "I thought she was in the tent."

Man2: "No, I just went there and she wasn't there."

The man and his wife are very concerned.

Woman2: panicking: "Well, where could she be?"

Man2: "Maybe she went into the truck, I will go check."

The man goes into the truck to find that his daughter is not there.

Woman2: fearfully yelling: "Aah! What is that ugly thing?"

You can see the fear upon her face. Man1 and some other people run to the woman.

Man2: "Looks like some type of mutated tick."

Woman2: speaking fast: "Do something."

Man3: "I have a gun in my truck."

Man one runs over to the truck and pulls out the gun and fires it at the tick, but it's too late.

Man2: sadly: "It's too late, she's gone."

Woman2 begins to cry. "I can't believe I lost her to a gigantic tick."

Man2: "Where did that thing come from?"

Scene Three: The carnival.

Setting: The carnival.

The ticks move into a nearby carnival. The camera zooms in on a boy and his mother.

Boy1: "Mommy, can we get some popcorn?"

Mother: "Sure."

The mother hands a man five dollars.

Man4: "Thanks for buying."

Mother, talking to her son: "What do you say?"

Boy1, shyly: "You're welcome."

The camera zooms in on a man advertising a freak show; a girl and her father are standing nearby.

Man5: "Come on in and see the snake lady."

Girl one is talking to her father.

Girl1:"Daddy, can we go into the freak show?"

Father1: "Sure, why not?"

The father pays man5 two dollars.

Man5: "Thanks."

Father1: "You're welcome."

They go in to find a humongous tick waiting to suck their blood.

Girl1: "Aah! "What is that thing?"

Father1:"Run!"

The ticks break out of the freak show and start killing people. The ticks jump on the father and suck his blood.

Girl1: "Daddy!"

Woman2: "It's to late, your dad is dead. We need to get out of here."

Girl1: "I won't leave without my father."

The woman grabs the girl and drags her out safely. Inconspicuously, the ticks move in on the woman and start sucking her blood along with the girl's.

Act Nine: The middle of the killing.

Scene one: The Party.

Setting: A party.

High school football captain: "I would like to make a toast to the regimen football team for beating the sharks at the states."

Team: "Yay!"

Team member one: "Yo dude, where the beers at?"

High school captain: "They are in the garage."

The member goes into the garage to find a humongous tick. He starts running but it's too late, the tick kills him. By this time the team captain is inside the house smoking contraband.

High school football captain: "Wow, that's some good stuff."

Team member two: "I'll say."

Ten minutes later the high school football captain is kissing his girlfriend on the sofa when team member two's girlfriend walks in.

Team member two's girlfriend: "Where's John?"

Team member two: "I don't know."

High school football captain: "He went to get the beers."

Team member two's girlfriend: "We better go check on him."

High school football captain: "Good idea, I'll go."

High school football captain goes into the garage to find that his friend is dead. By this time the ticks move into the house. The high school football captain walks back into the house to find ticks killing everyone. Team member two's girlfriend tries to make it outside, but a tick jumps on her and sucks her blood. Team member two tries it make it outside but the ticks get him. High school football captain makes it outside but the ticks get him. One hour later the parents come home.

Father2: crying: "No, our son is dead!"

Mother2: "What could have done this?"

The camera zooms on the ticks leaving the back yard.

Scene Two: The restaurant.

Setting inside a restaurant.

The ticks mate inside the restaurant. The baby ticks crawl into soup.

Man6: "I would like to order the lobster dinner."

Inside the kitchen, the chef is preparing the food and walks into the freezer to find a gigantic tick. The tick jumps on the chef and starts sucking his blood. Simultaneously, the man is eating his food and finds baby ticks in it. The man finds this repulsive.

Man6: "Waiter! What is this in my soup?"

Waiter: "I will go and replace it."

Waiter goes into the kitchen and finds a humongous tick. The tick starts to suck his blood.

Waiter1: "Aah!"

Man6 hears the yelling and goes into the kitchen to find a dead man and the tick. He runs out.

Man6, yelling: "Run!"

The ticks break out and start killing people.

Woman4, fearfully yelling: "Aah!"

You can see the fear on her face as the ticks jump on her and suck her blood.

Boy2, fearfully yelling: "Aah!"

The ticks attack the boy and suck his blood. The ticks start killing other people by jumping on them.

Scene Three: the movie theater.

Setting: A movie theater.

The ticks move into a theater.

Man7: "Four tickets to see "The ant".

Man8: "Okay."

Man8 hands them their tickets. Man5 walk up to a woman who punches a hole in his ticket.

Woman5: "Theater ten: right this way."

Man7: "Thanks."

Man7 and his family go into theater ten to find a humongous tick waiting to suck their blood. Man7 makes a run for it but the tick gets him. The ticks are now outside theater ten.

Man9: yelling: "Aah!"

Man9 runs and gets out alive.

Boy3: yelling: "Run!"

Boy three tries to make it outside but the ticks get him.

Girl2: yelling: "Aah!"

Girl two makes it outside alive.

Act Nine: The news.

Scene One: Local broadcast.

Setting: A news station.

Woman5: "Ticks have taken over the town, and there's a report in about ticks killing people in a carnival."

Man10: "Yes, it's a tick infestation."

Woman5: "There has also been a report about the ticks killing people in a theater and now to the governor."

Governor: "We are trying to kill the ticks. We have a team of experts working on a way to kill the ticks."

Woman5: "Well: you heard it here: first the governor is trying to kill the ticks."

Act Ten: The killing of the ticks.

Scene One: The Trap

Setting: Inside a store.

The scientists set up traps all about the town.

Scientist One: "Yes, we got a tick!"

Scientist Two: "Aah!"

Inconspicuously, a tick jumps on scientist and rips off her head. Scientist one shots the tick with a tranquilizer dart and puts the tick into the trap.

Scene Two: The town center.

Scientist one goes to the town center to find that the trap she set up has nothing in it.

Scene Three: The finding of the lavatory.

Setting: Inside a helicopter

Helicopter pilot is speaking with the control tower: “I think we found the hidden lavatory.”

Control tower: “Good, you may land.”

The helicopter lands right outside the hidden lavatory. A scientist inside the helicopter steps out. She goes inside the lavatory and finds the tick formula.

Scientist three: “What’s this.”

She reads the label on the formula which says “Tick Formula”.

Scientist three : “Oh my god, it’s what we been looking for.”

She goes back to the helicopter. The helicopter takes off.

Helicopter pilot: “We found the formula.”

Control tower, “Congratulations.”

The helicopter lands back at the base.

Scene Four: The reversing of the formula.

Setting: A base.

Scientist three walks into the building.

Scientist three: “Doctor, we found the formula.

Doctor, “Congratulations, let’s work on reversing it.”

Scientist three: “Good idea.”

The scientist and the doctor go into the lavatory. They put the formula into a machine

Doctor, “Let’s find out the components in this formula.”

Scientist three, “Good idea.”

A few minutes go by. The doctor takes the formula out of the machine and reads the data.

Doctor, “Looks like the formula is made of chemical z. Now all we need to do is to find a chemical to reverse it.”

Scientist three: “What about chemical d?”

Doctor, “Yes, that might work.”

The doctor tries the chemical on the formula.

Doctor: “Now we need to see if it works. Didn’t you bring in a humongous tick?”

Scientist three: “Yes.”

Doctor: “Let’s go and get it.”

Scientist three: “Okay.”

The doctor and the scientist walk into the other room.

The doctor takes the cage containing the tick and takes it back to the previous room. Back in the room, the doctor opens the cage to test if the reverse formula works.

Doctor, “Yes, it worked!”

Scenist three: “Hurray!

Doctor: “How are we going to spread the formula around?”

Scientist three: “We can utilize the hose of the fire trucks.”

Doctor, “Good notion.”

The doctor and the scientist go to the fire department to ask if they can utilize the trucks.

Fire fighter, “You may use our trucks.”

Doctor, “Thanks.”

Fire fighter, “You’re welcome.”

Scene Five: spreading of the reverse formula.

Setting: The town.

The doctor and the scientist spread the reverse formula throughout the town.

Doctor: “Spray over here.”

The scientist aims the hose at a gigantic tick.

Doctor: “Nice work.”

Scene Six: The aftermath.

Setting: In the town.

The doctor and the scientist go around the town helping people rebuild their houses and move the dead bodies.

Scientist three: “Help me move these bodies.”

The doctor goes to help her.

Scientist three: “Thanks.”

Ten years later the town is full rebuild and the dead are gone but another evil doctor comes along and starts the evil formula on fleas.

The end.


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252 Reviews


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Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:38 pm
Insomnia wrote a review...



I know nothing about scripts, so I can't help much, but isn't it supposed to be guilty by reason of insanity? Means they done it, but it's not their fault, as far as I know. It might be different. You'd have to ask around more. xD

Anyway, I agree with what Flemzo said. try to steer away from the cliches, and it'll make it more interesting. Then people'll probably crit more, because it caught their attention.

Good work,

Mat




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Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:55 pm
thething912 says...



Thanks for reviwing.

I'm going to take the sugestions that you gave me to enhance my story.

Your I'm sick and tired of all your crap thing is very funny.




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Sat Sep 01, 2007 3:13 pm
Emerson wrote a review...



Well, I didn't finish this! Eh...Oh! and I shall move it into scripts, since it is a script.


This was... odd. I've read several plays, and non of them are set up in this way. I don't know if you have read any...? If not, and you want to write some, I highly suggest you should. There is a format to it, and a style, and a purpose. This came off like more of an outline for a story with random bursts of dialog in a slight script form. Scripts are written both for reading enjoyment, and presentation enjoyment. In both cases, this seems to fall short. If this were to be acted out, it would be chaotic and confusing. Saying things like, "Mike is an evil scientist who has been working on creating a growth formula." for your description of Mike isn't helpful--we should know what he looks like, and we should understand what you just said through the dialog of the script.


I really can't come up with enough to say, I just think you should read some plays (Henrik Ibsen's A Doll's House is beautiful, and all of Wilde's plays are good.) to understand what you are trying to create better. Some of the syntax--for example, putting your actions in brackets and italics--were missing from this where it is something common to almost all plays so that the actions are set aside from the dialogue.

It's just things you need to consider... Plays/scripts tell stories, they are beautiful because of their dialog, and this... this seemed to lay heavily on the action, which was very very chaotic. I hope I did not offend through this. ^^' Best of luck!




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Sat Sep 01, 2007 2:57 pm
Flemzo wrote a review...



Good work. I only had time to skim through it, so sorry if my review seems shallow.

I like the premise, but the use of evil scientists and maniacal laughter is far too cliched. The sooner you can move away from cliches, the sooner your writing will be more formal and professional.

I really don't like how the scenes are so short. Nothing really happens, then BAM! Off to the next scene. Try to expand the scenes more by adding more dialouge, more conflict, and more actions.

Judge: "How do you find the defendant?"

Jury: "Not guilty, due to reasons of insanity."

Judge: "Okay, case closed."


This section is impossible. My mom used to work with the courts, and if someone pleads insanity, they usually have to take a test to prove the insanity. It isn't just dismissed because someone said they were crazy.

Finally, you do know that a lavatory is a bathroom, right? I'm thinking your scientists didn't create a growth potion in a secret bathroom, they did it in a laboratory.

Otherwise, I liked where this is going. Just rid yourself of cliches and expand on what you have. And next time, post scripts in the "Scripts" section. :P





"There is nothing to fear from someone who shouts."
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart