If I had a twin, her eyes would be brown, not blue. Her hair would be straight, not wavy. Her lips would be full, not tight. She'd be my sister. We'd share the same voice, but let's be honest, her's would sound better than mine.
We'd share the same clothes, fight over boys. We'd have different types, but the facts remain the same, our standards would be too low. She'd always wear leggings, she'd be into sports. I preferred my music, but she'd sing with me when she could.
I'd teach her piano, she'd teach me volleyball. Sometimes, we'll share the same bed because we're lonely and don't want to be alone. Her brown eyes would always sparkle like sand in the sun. It's a shame the ocean I call my eyes washed her away before she could become one.
If I had a twin, we'd cause trouble left and right. She'd be a perfect fit to what's missing at my side. She'd be a dancer, I'd be her poet. Late night talks, popcorn runs and horror movies while it snows. We'd bond over silly, stupid little things. She'd be my best friend, if she'd ever be.
I prefer my Monster Energy drinks, she'd prefer Starbucks. Copy and Paste, but opposite despite the similarities we have. Preppy and pretty against grungy and vintage. The same but different, like every other twin.
She'd be an over achiever, the one who's always neat. She'll want to be a doctor, not some low flight attendant like me. She'll exceed the standards placed by our parents. I win awards for writing, but she'd win awards for being more than she was asked to be.
If I had a twin, I know for a fact, her eyes would be brown. Her hair would be straight, her skin the perfect tone of pale. She'd be my sister, we'd share the same voice. But she didn't make it, so now I share a piece of her brown eyes in mine.
An ocean with its island. An island with its ocean. Two peas in a pod, one of the same. If I had a twin, I wonder, what would be her name?
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Hi, majuli here to review!!
I thought this poem was really interesting. Honestly, the format is kind of bananas (get it? get it?) in a good way. The whole thing is written in these big, full paragraphs instead of normal stanzas, which makes it feel more like you’re reading someone’s late-night ramble or a journal entry they didn’t plan to share. It’s messy in a raw way, and I think that actually adds a lot to the mood.
I kinda found myself getting pulled into the feelings behind it. It gave me this soft, bittersweet ache, like imagining someone who could’ve existed but didn’t. I liked how you painted the twin as both similar and opposite. Something so close yet far from the narrator. It made me feel like I was watching you build a whole person out of longing and “what ifs.” The ending kind of made me sit there for a second.
Overall, it felt warm, sad, and personal in a way that dawns on you. If this is the kind of poem i was given without context, I’d probably say, “Okay, wow, that was surprisingly emotional.”
Anyways, I LOVED this poem. Keep writing!!
Ahhhh! Thank you! This is a spoken poetry piece, which is where that messy and raw paragraph form comes from. I do have more pieces that are similar, such as "She Was a Girl" and "I Knew a Boy", if you wish to check those out to!
Thank you for the review though! So happy you liked my work<3
~Taost
Hey, TaostedWriter 👋 I’m still not the best reviewer, but let’s see if we can help each other improve here, haha.
It feels like this is talking about the idea of a vanishing twin, which is super interesting to explore in prose or poetry. I really like the angle you went for too, talking about all the possibilities that could have been. I think a lot of girls who are only children have wondered what kind of suster they would have, but drawing the attention back to the heterochomia makes it feel more real: obviously, you can be born with heterochromia that doesn’t stem from a vanishing twin (I think?), but once the idea of the possibility is presented, I imagine that would really get you thinking. I also felt sone sympathy in how you kept propping up this sister as not just this ideal over yourself, and boy I get that feeling and it’s great to explore through art instead of reality, but at the same time, just to clarify in case this is coming from a personal place, you are enough, girl.❣️
Okay, I’ll quit yapping, and try to be more useful now. I think this was written well, and I don’t have any advice to give except, I don’t think there’s an apostrophe in “her’s”? That’s literally the only thing I noticed, though, so I’d say that’s a sign that this is pretty solid, right? Haha.
That’s all I have for now. Have a good night, and good job. 👍
Thank you for the review!
I myself, was born with central heterochromia. (It actually developed over time when I was little), however, heterochromia does not have anything to do with the "absorbtion" of a twin. That's something else entirely! What brought on the kick for this poem, was my cousin telling me, "Oh, yeah your heterochromia means you are your twin!".
I didnt. I never had one lol.
But what got me was, what would it be like to have a twin? Would we look alike? What would we do? And so I wrote this piece. I'm glad you like it though. I can tell you, my sisters are nothing like what my twin would be, haha
I hope you also have a good day/night! <3
Oh, I see! Also, wow, I apologize for the typos in that review, looking back on it now, lol. Anyway, your welcome. Cool poem.