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Young Writers Society


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Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well

by thepapermonster


Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well

For the final report: I didn’t spend the money on the kids; that was just a front. The main reason I needed the money was for a ransom I needed to pay to ensure the safety for my loved ones.

You see this all started one upon a time in Mexico. I had just turned 21 and I thought that it would be a good idea to get started in the family business: illegally selling imported jellybeans. And my job was transporting the jellybeans from point A to point B. And from there it goes to point C which is out of my jurisdiction, but whatever anyway. So here I was doing my job on my way to point B when out of nowhere I am attacked by seven people who loot my truck and leave me on the side of the road to die. But I wake up and am able to walk and so I do because my truck is now gone, anyway you get it. I walk until I arrive at a nearby town to get to a telephone to contact my boss to let him know that I have lost this week’s cargo to thieves. I let him know that because not only have they taken the entire shipment that they have also taken the truck so now I am stranded in East Jesus Nowhere. He doesn’t respond the way I expected, because you see, my boss is my uncle who took head of the family trade when my father mysteriously died in a car accident that totaled the car and set everything in it on fire. But that’s not what killed him, that’s the mysterious part because it’s evident that someone had died in that car but a body was never recovered.

So, my loving, caring uncle who I have called in a very needy time tells me that he doesn’t have a niece and I must have the wrong number! He hangs up on me and once again I am left alone, quite possibly to die because I had nothing in my pockets to buy meals or housing.

Absolutely alone in the world I wander the streets looking for a place to stay for the night as it was getting dark. When I was just about ready to start selling myself for at least the back seat of a car to sleep in I wander upon the most convenient of buildings. A homeless shelter. But as soon as I walk in to register for the night I am tossed back out because the house was full and they added, quite spitefully, that they only accept locals. As rude as they were they didn’t send me out empty handed. They gave me an old dusty blanket and a bag of potato chips.

Back on the streets I start wandering around through the dark and an anger sparks within me towards the uncle who had disowned me and deserted me in an unfamiliar town to fend for myself. Then I decide that I shall see him again to get some answers and to exact my revenge.

Down one particularly dark alley I notice a man just as lonely as I was standing next to a rusty red truck. Something drew me to the man and I approached him. He told me the truck was for sale to anyone who wants it. I looked down at what I have in my arms and offer him the potato chips. He hands over the keys and I drive away from the dusty town.

I drive for miles and miles for as long as I had gas in the tank but only until my plan to take the truck for as long as it can to get me to my uncle had ultimately failed. Little did I realize but I had forgotten to look for directions and for the last 200 miles I had driven the wrong way.

Extremely pissed, I immediately leapt from the truck and screamed my frustrations out. I must have been going blind at that time because not only have I not noticed the location markers but I didn’t see then the small group of boys standing in front of a grocery store gawking at me from my display of lung capacity. I catch my breathe and regain my composure then I shamelessly walked over to the oldest of the guys and ask for directions to the nearest motor shop seeing as I needed to restore my truck because I still had a ways to go to get to my uncle.

I loaded the boys into the back of the truck and follow their directions to a little shack at the edge of the town where the eldest boy informed me that he owned the shop with his grandfather. Immediately I informed him that I have no way of paying them but then he told me that they were going to service me for free since I was so pretty. I swallowed back any retort I would have slung to any sleazy guy for such a comment because he was fixing my truck for free and I had a job to do.

While the guys were under the hood the effects of 2 days without sleep since I was left unconscious at the side of a road began to take effect and I unrolled my dusty old blanket and lay across the dirt road and napped under the sun. Seeing as that I can’t tell time once asleep I wasn’t sure how long it had taken but sun had sunken to the horizon line when I finally came to by the boot of a gentleman kicking me awake. The oldest boy followed me to the cab blabbing on and on but I wasn’t paying any attention because my mind was already focusing on the moment I was to see my uncle again. But when he asked me if he can go with me I was able to drop back in the world of the now. Why in the world would he want to accompany me in my broken down truck? I denied the boy access a free ride and prepared to hit the road and just then he informed me that the truck was fixed… for now. The truck was too old to be restored but was able to run for a short period of time. At some point down the road it would break down again and only he was able to restart it again.

I weighed my options and figured that bringing him along was my best chance at successfully arriving to my uncle’s doorstep. I nodded my head and he happily hopped into the seat next to me and continued to talk along the drive for the next four hours until he finally thought to introduce himself as Fernando.

“What brings you to our little town? Oh, by the way, you can call me Fernando, but all my friends call me Fern.” He said.

Not wanting to let him know that I had stumbled upon their little town because I was lost, I made up a fib. “I was just visiting my distant relative on the way to see my uncle.”

“Why were you screaming?” He asked.

“I, hm, because they moved and didn’t tell me.”

“Ha, that trip must have been a waste of gas.”

From the corner of my eye I saw that he was staring at me. After a noticeably long time I turned to him. “What?”

“What do I call you?”

“Oh, duh, well, you can call me Ella.”

“Well, Ella, we have a lot of time to get to know each other… considering you’re driving the wrong way to your uncle.”

Down the raid a couple of dozen miles or so we needed gas so I stopped off in a fairly well populated town to fuel up. At the gas station Fernando ran in to buy snacks for the road and while he was gone I was once again mugged! I must be great thieve bait because this time it was 10 guys who came up and demanded my keys then left me on the street to die. Fernando noticed the commotion and ran out then shook me awake.

Now we were alone in a strange town with no way of transportation. But still the joke was on the thieves because they have yet to find out what a pile of junk they had stolen. But at least se had dinner at the time so we took a moment to sit at the curb and at least enjoy that.

Afterward, we started down the lonely dark streets for some other opportunity to get to my uncle and by some form of luck we found a bus station. Inside we found out that we were on time to board a bus that was heading in our direction before it was going to leave. But yet again I was unable to pay for any service. But thankfully the very kind driver named Birdie let us rife for free when I fibbed again and told her that we were orphans running away from the authorities. I am incredibly curious as to how she bought that since I was pretending that Fernando and I were brother and sister and even though we were of a close enough age, I wasn’t too much older than he was at the time, we had completely different features. I being much taller and having dark hair compared to his fairness, but anyway she let us ride probably for the company as we found out we were the only two going on this route at the time and it was a pretty long drive.

Along the road we all shared a many a wonderful stories about our life experiences, not too much from Fernando considering he was so young at the time. But Birdie being as old as she was had so many tales to share we were kept entertained the whole ride.

It was only near our destination that they had asked me what it was that I did for a living. I couldn’t answer that and let them know that I was once part of a dangerous jellybean operation. Of course I was out of it now, but still, seeing my uncle could bring dire consequences upon myself, and everyone accompanying me. But l know it was something I had to do, it just didn’t have to include Fernando and Birdie.

“I was a truck driver.” Not too far from the truth.

“What would you drive then for, Honey?” Asked Birdie.

“Um, I would transport sellable goods.” Not a lie.

“Like candy and jewelry?” Asked Fernando.

“Exactly like that.” Like jellybeans!

“Oh, okay, well, what are you planning to do now, after you’ve seen you uncle? Asked Birdie.

“I don’t know yet.” I hadn’t thought about that, I’m not sure what I would do now that I don’t have anyone. The only family I had left was my uncle but he had left me to die on my own.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay with me, you and Fern can ride with me on my bus.”

“Cool!”

“Yeah, that sounds really nice, Birdie.” And it was nice, for as long as it lasted.

Once I was back in my hometown I had Birdie drop me off at my uncle’s work building while she went to a local amusement park with Fern.

I entered the building and realized how weird it was that everything was exactly the same as how it has been for as long as I could remember but now everything had changed. Once I had arrived at my uncle’s room I didn’t waste any time easing into it. I demanded the answers I needed but to my surprise I was given a lot more than I bargained for.

My uncle saw that there was no use to pretend that I didn’t exist since I was standing right there in front of him alive and well. He addressed me by my real name Isobel, which I thought was weird because no one ever does and for as long as I can remember I have been known as Ella. So my uncle, while following my no nonsense approach, let me know that he is no longer responsible for me since I was never a part of their family in the first place. I was left on their doorstep as an infant and instead of leaving me to the coyotes they thought that I can make good use for the family business one day and brought me in. After the man I thought was my father had disappeared my uncle saw no use to pretend anymore and left me to the dust.

Suddenly, before I could notice. two men appeared at my side then threw a bag over my head and carried me away to what I could only assume was the cargo hold of the same kind of truck I used to drive. For the following week I remained on the road to goodness knows where shackled and tied up and blindfolded in the back of a truck. Once I was unloaded onto unfamiliar ground I was let go in the desert. Not really, apparently I was being sold. For unknown reasons and just for what exactly but I had a feeling that I had to get out of there before I was able to be passed on to the next weirdo.

The men were unarmed so I saw no reason to not just get up and go so I went. I stood up and with my arms tied behind me I was able to high tail it out of there and leave them all in my dust. I ran and I ran and I ran until I knew they would never find me. Which brought me here to Alaska, and just yesterday I received a letter. They found Birdie and Fern and plan to use them as recompense for losing me and unless I want to get them back I need to pay them the money I owe which was about how much I was worth when they were going to sell me. I’ve looked for so many ways to get the money to get them back and then this came up so I thought that I would try, for Birdie and Fernando.


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382 Reviews


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Reviews: 382

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Mon May 09, 2016 11:51 am
Dreamy wrote a review...



Hello there!

The title made me check this out, because MIA for life! <3

This is an interesting piece of story, and it had the J.D. Salinger kind of vibe to it. More so, I liked it for how fast paced it was, as in a way of "re-telling" the story without any literary devices, and for not being like any other story that has a long psychological explanation to every action the MC takes, given that she's a smuggler and a teen. Woah!

To elaborate on my point, it felt like a good premise for a novel. And the narration felt very straight forward. A narration that you see in interviews, where the interviewee gets to decided what's important and lets us know only that. Which is not done in many books, now. And the style gives a very raw feel to the story which goes really well with the title.

Having said that, there were few things that I thought was way too funny to be in an adventure, thriller genre. I mean, not that humour doesn't work in adventurous stories, but. Let me tell you want, Ella smuggling "jelly beans?" Of all other things, why jelly beans? What's the story behind? Now, I probably wouldn't bother to ask this question if this story was tagged under satire or humour, because, hello, sense of humour and jokes. But since there isn't any tags of that sort, I'm just sitting here and thinking "is that supposed to be funny?" because it's rude to laugh when you-the author legit think that it is a serious situation, and with us- the readers completely missing the point, it could be chaos. Also, a truck for a bag of potato chips, now that was cinematic and funny. And with Ella's reaction to it after it breaks down, says a lot about Ella's personality. Is she really that dumb? Or were you(the writer) is really serious and we the readers are still missing the point. Do you see the confusion?

Or maybe I just missed the point. Nonetheless, this made me giggle even if it wasn't intended. Feel free to PM me if you want anything.

Keep writing!

Cheers! :D






I said before that I wrote this short when I was supposed to be at work. I was incredibly inspired at the moment and let myself loose on my work computer with the intention on creating something adventurous and silly.
I do a lot of work like this, one of my most silly is about a ninja dodo bird.
But that aside, I am incredibly elated that you thought this was so wonderfully silly and that it made you giggle. My work here is done.
Cheers.



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Sun May 08, 2016 6:07 pm
Kaju wrote a review...



Dear thepapermonster,
You are awesome, friend! I loved your theme, your way of getting the readers hooked and everything else about the storyline. There were a very few flaws in the structure which are already mentioned in the review below. So I need not repeat. Personally, I would have loved it if this was a novel instead of a short story. It requires a lot more detail because in many places we, the readers are being left out of information like description of the attack on Ella, the accident of the so called Ella's father, how couldn't Ella ever ask his uncle about the rest of the family members and especially Ella's mother etc.
Also, two trucks of a single person being stolen by two different sets of thieves in a span of just two days sounds abnormal.
Overall it was a good story!
Awesome plot! Keep it up!
Keep writing and winning hearts!
All the best! Waiting for more from you






Only in Mexico will you get mugged twice in a week. But I wouldn't know personally, I've only been to New Mexico.
BTW, I love you! I forgot to mention for this short story that I wrote it while I was at work ( I don't work there anymore) when I was distracted and felt a spur of creativity. So this was meant to be silly, nothing to be taken seriously.
Thank you for thinking that it's so great.



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Thu May 05, 2016 4:40 pm
Holysocks wrote a review...



Hey there! Welcome to the site! ^_^

I like Ella's will to survive, after everything she's been through. That girl's got a lot of life.

I am attacked by seven people who loot my truck and leave me on the side of the road to die.


Could you enlighten us a little more? You speed through this story so fast we barely get a chance to get to know the characters or experience what they're experience. Like here, what did those men say as they beat her? Wasn't she afraid? Describe her feelings a bit perhaps, and what was going through her mind- because we'd like to know, readers are morbid creatures.

East Jesus Nowhere.


I love this line so much. It reminds me of something my buddies would say when they're not exactly being as smooth as usual.

because it’s evident that someone had died in that car but a body was never recovered.


I'm feeling left out of the story here, like in the first comment I made: enlighten us. How was it evident that someone died in the car? Tell us! We want to know! Simply stating something like that isn't enough- if it's important to give us any information about it, than we're going to want to know more. So tell us.

Absolutely alone in the world


I kind of understand this statement now, because her uncle said that she was abandoned, but still. Did she not make one single friend in her life before Fern and Birdie? It doesn't make a lot of sense that she couldn't make a friend in her whole 21 years but in something like three days she made not one, but two friends.

I looked down at what I have in my arms and offer him the potato chips. He hands over the keys and I drive away from the dusty town.


Two things you do a lot: 1. take everything away from your characters, 2. fix everything without effort. Taking everything away from your characters is more believable than fixing things in the blink of an eye, but it still gets a bit absurd after awhile. And then quick fixes to horrendous occurrences are never satisfying in a story. The characters need to work for it, and I mean really work for it. As much as Ella went through a lot of crap and did do a lot to get herself out of it, it seemed like all she had to do was to show up and she'd stumble upon ways to get herself out of her mess, and it just doesn't work that way.

Little did I realize but I had forgotten to look for directions and for the last 200 miles I had driven the wrong way.


How does someone drives for 200 miles and forget to figure out which way they have to go?

it would break down again and only he was able to restart it again.


I think Ella is smart enough to realize that this isn't the only man in the universe that can fix a crappy truck. :P This line feels like you just made up a quick reason for why Ella would let him come but it really wasn't supported by much logic.

Which brought me here to Alaska,


I love this line as well, because it's rather random. You mean to tell me she ran all the way through Mexico, across the U.S, across CANADA, and decided to stop in Alaska? It's not very believable, but it is a bit humourous. :P

What you have here could be a novella if you slowed it down and took the time to detail it a bit more!

Keep it up my friend! C:

-Socks





"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda