The Personal Biography of Nobody

This is my first upload here and i have much more to write in this novel so please read it and give your honest reviews.

THE PERSONAL BIOGRAPHY OF NOBODY

I wanted to die. There was no one that I would like to see every morning when I woke up. Neither was a purpose for my life nor someone to decide it for me. I was completely alone. I never trusted everyone, not even one and it was not my fault. I learned this in the hardest way possible for me.

8 years back when I was 12 I started trusting a girl and one guy who was always polite to me. I was in school obviously but you don’t know the school is in itself, a whole world. You must choose your words carefully or you will end up either in toilet or in the back alley with a black swollen eye. You must always keep the teachers cum Supreme Leaders (dictators) pleased or they can turn your world upside down by calling your parents and many things. They had a lot of tools and methods to do that. But I was lucky I was orphan and most of the families who adopted me normally sent me back in a week, the reason I never came to knew. And oh yes, the school if you are observant enough makes you a good politician, you usually end up in dramatic political situations where you need to convince all without putting your head in lion’s mouth and rest of your body in crocodile’s.

So yes at least my school fits perfectly for the description. Well the girl became my friend to win a bet with her friends and then made fun of me in front of the kids to complete the bet. Well the kids were not the normal one. I called them the school media because if you wanted to leak some news or you want to tell the school something without yourself being highlighted those kids were ideal for that and they didn’t took chocolates or something else as fee. They just do it. The guy….. Well he was not the bad one he just pitied on me and thought it against his reputation to be a friend of someone like me so he made it clear to me to stay away. It was really hard to survive in school every day after the girl incident. A lot of taunts and humiliation. I didn’t had parents or any relative or anyone at all to ease myself. I was innocent kid with no understanding of the normal cruel world at all and didn’t had someone to teach me how to survive. I decided not to trust anyone. No, not at all in any circumstance.

But those are the past things, after the incidents in recent years, I was…you can say given a new life and a new view, a new way to look at things.

I dropped school it was not something for me, I was blank entirely with no dream of becoming something, no hobby that I could pursue as career. It’s funny that I even didn’t longed for some new freaky gadget so that I could earn for it. How drastic the situation was you can understand from the last one. Indeed it was bad, real bad. I did freelancing for everything that people wanted or required to earn enough to feed myself and pay rent for a small cage that people call apartment. I cleaned toilets, worked at restaurants to supplement for shortage of staff and even as an attendant sometimes to take care of the patients at house. It was quiet ironic for me though. Someone who never got cared and who never cared for someone was hired as an attendant for patient. But I had no problem with that. I didn’t had any problem with anything at all.

There was one problem with me. I was alone so no one to talk with, no one to pass the time and hence I got ample of time to think and that was really painful. Because I had nothing to think about and so I involuntarily started remembering the old memories which more trouble for my hollow heart. The memories were not good enough to recall, they were really painful. They always showed me the mirror. Always screamed that I was useless, that my life was senseless. The thinking was killing me. I was ready to do anything to avoid thinking and revisiting those ugly memories. I went to the dark alley for that. Drugs that affect mind, considered horrific by everyone were like heavenly things to me. I was arrested for taking drugs. I was sentenced a year of imprisonment in the rehabilitation center. I screamed in the court, requested them to kill me, to hang me to death. I cried, pleaded and begged them for it. I explained them that they were not taking away drugs from me but were allowing the memories to return and tear me apart from the inside. They were not giving me life but giving a life with everlasting pain and thinking. I was horrified. The police had a tough time dragging me out of the court.

I saw the horrified faces of people sitting in the court and even the judge was terrified by me. I was not some child to them but a being they never saw before. I was something that their system was not capable of curing. Even with three policemen holding me and dragging me out I was able to take the pistol from one policemen and I fired it at myself hoping that I would die and the memories won’t haunt me.

You might be thinking that this guy is exaggerating a lot. Those are just memories and that one can move forward and everything can end up like the movie scene of riding a horse with the sunset in the background and his love with him and the words “And they lived happily ever after.” OK not the same but somewhat close.

Well I was not lucky enough (as always) the bullet didn’t kill me, it injured me with no serious harm and a 3 month hospital trip was straight ahead. It was strictly ordered by judge that a nurse should always be with me in hospital so that I don’t jump off from the window to kill myself and a guard in proximity to ensure her safety from the paranoid kid who just shot himself.

If I remember it correctly, after the surgery when I woke up I was tied to bed and far away from the window to ensure that I don’t even think about it. A lady came in the evening, she was from some organization that ensured that people like me were rehabitated. I can’t recall much of the conversation as I was half conscious thanks to the anesthetic who gave me a strong dose for safety after he read my profile.

The next day another lady came in to see me. With her was the judge. I now understand that the judge was not bad but concerned about me because he had seen people like me in his career and he told me that rehabitation center would be useless for me.

The lady told me that the judge changed the decision and now I was going to live with her andthat I am supposed to live with her till I am not healthy again both mentally and physically.

Well when I heard it I laughed, much more like the devil kind of. I looked into her eyes and said “Do you really think and hope that you can help someone like him. Hun”

I actually mentioned “him” like there was some ghost in the body. She calmly patted on my head and said “It’s worth giving a try to help someone this much innocent and cute.” And then she gave me the horrific look and said that if you try anything stupid……… and silence. She didn’t said anything but her eyes spoke enough. I would have pissed in my pants surely if she had stared even for one more second. After they went I really checked my pants. Surely it wasn’t her who needed a bodyguard because of me but it was I who required one. OH MY GOD She was really scary……. So doing something was out of my mind and out of question.

The next day in morning she came and asked if I was ready for the new life that was ahead and waiting for me. Seriously she was looking really happy and lively and even I felt good from the inside for a moment probably for first time in my life.

I said yes.

She asked me about the baggage and my belongings that I wanted to take with me. Her presence filled positivity in me and I said that anything of my past life is not allowed in the new one. She smiled at me and I changed my clothes and we sat in the car and rode of.

Don’t think that the paranoid kid is gone. No, it’s not that easy, what’s on the surface can be deceptive and someone like me who was sunk in the deepest and darkest dimension of misery, pain and hollowness cannot be helped out easily. I was in a state where no matter how strong it was no light of hope could reach. It all depended on me whether I wanted to get in the light or be there in the dark, tormented. I flowed with the flow because I knew resisting the flow would result in rehabitation center. Here at least I got a chance to escape or……. It would have been something better than what waited for me if I hadn’t flowed with the flow.

Now when I remember these moments I feel like it was indeed a new life even after the tragedy that occurred in my new life.