Published January 25, 2010
I was made to fight
I was bred for war.
Help wrong lose to right
Help... like those before.
Not raised to blend in
But taught to stand out.
Stop teachers of sin
That plant seeds of doubt.
Show the strength of light.
Prove that struggle's here
And the end's in sight
That the time is near.
Don't want to be free;
My choices too grim.
He follow me?--no
I should follow him
Put here to face pain.
Because with abuse
I appeal to change
To give this world use.
I call for wisdom
To help me get out.
Rain down from the Son
And help this seed sprout.
If he asks for me
I'm willing to fall.
But I ask of thee
To answer the call.
(Another Christian Poem)
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,706 Reviews
Thanks all, Though that line "He don't follow me" was forced, the grammar I used was used
on purpose, but looking back I see that it didn't portray what I wanted it to portray.
Thanks again, you guys help me improve everyday
I really liked this. It really fits for somebody who thinks they're fighting for something, and fighting for something thats worth it.
This has to be my favorite line. And I thought it was cute that you made 'stand out' blue.The only thing I had a bit of a problem with was "He don't follow me". I think it should be 'he doesn't', but it fits nonetheless. Good job!
Hey there, thelastofhisclan (couldn't think of nickname for you just now)! I love Christian poems, and Christianity as a whole; this is probably because I am a Christian. It may make me a little bias to your poem, but hey, I'm still here to review.
Anyways. This is good on the whole. There are a few parts where the line just doesn't fit, and I had to go back and reread it. Maybe it was just me, though. However, on the line where you say 'He don't follow me'...boy, does that sound real forced. 'He don't' is not a grammatically correct phrase. It fits, but I had to read it quite a few times.
So, pretty nice job.
Tata,
Miss Mizz
wow this was amazing and so true, very insightful! loved it well done!
[quote][I call for wisdom
To help me get out.
Rain down from the Son
And help this seed sprout./quote]
Wow. Wow. Wow.
This is truly inspirational.
I love this!! It is written so meaningful!! You really put a lot of emotion and meaning into this piece. I really can't think of anything you can work on.
Bravo! Brava!
*Tay*