I've walked a path not well known
I've fought wars others have sown.
Some have made themselves heard,
Most do not recall a word.
I've seen the world's heroes cry,
Cause they hate saying goodbye.
I've seen prodigies give up.
Cause they finally had enough.
This place, some live for it all,
I guess that choice is their call.
But why would one want to chose,
A life with so much to lose.
Some can't live without others,
Lost sisters, or some brothers.
True those do mean much to me,
But there's so much more to see.
I've seen peaceful fighters,
And some combatant writers.
I have known annoyed brothers,
And unforgiving lovers.
We will believe anything,
If it has a catchy ring.
We long to know only rest,
But that's what ruins the best.
Idleness gives way to sin,
But so can what you work in.
I long and wait for the son,
To tell the darkness it's done.
Though this I am patient for,
I'm not waiting anymore.
There are some things that need done,
Give up and nothing is won.
There is a battle out there,
But we seldom seem to care.
Even demons understand,
The war for all inside man.
Only two stand forever,
Two are worth great endeavor
God, though he can not be beat,
And our soul (an empty seat).
So people are worth too much,
For me to now give it up.
Despite all pains and regret,
I'll live until Him I've met.
Some live for life, others don't.
Some live for moments, I won't.
Some live for that selfish love,
Instead of care from above.
There are many things down here,
And they might take away fear,
But they mean in fact nothing,
Since people are everything.
While I'm here, I live for them,
They could have my heart with 'em.
Cause home is where the heart is,
And my heart was always HIS.
(written from Christian perspective)
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
This is very well-written. I like the rhyming scheme. Then I reread it when I realized that it is a Christian poem. Excellent job.
Hello! Welcome to YWS. I think your poem has real potential, but there are a couple of things that let the poem down a little. Firstly, the rhyming is a little predictable - cry, bye, rest, best, for, more, etc. But then occasionally, there are lines that don't rhyme at all - much and up, up and enough. Perhaps you could play about with your concept, which is good, and think about how you can say the same things in a different way, perhaps see how it sounds freeverse? Another thing is that I think it's a little long, and after a while the rhyming becomes slightly tiresome. It just seems that you could say what you want to say in a shorter space, and that it isn't neccessary for the poem to be quite so long. So like I said, play around with it, see how you can say the same thing in perhaps less space or a different format - experiment and have fun with it, because it has the potential to be really good.
This is beautiful, you have real talent. I love how you phrased the words. Great job!