Young Writers Society

Hi thegoldenbird,

Mailice here with a short review!

I didn't think I would come across such a poem when I read the title. It put me in a bit of a short story when I read it, and like the bottom line is that the story here has a general outcome that could be made for very many wars. Let's start.

As the war broke out worldwide
each young man was dragged out to fight.
Bombs, missiles and un-nameable terrors
shook the very earth, causing great tremors.

The masses, with utmost hopelessness,
left their homes for peaceful lands
where every man was given shelter;
homes became refugee camps.

Irrespective of all divisions
all got food and a place to sleep-
and in that moment of world war
there coexisted world peace.

Hello! Hannah here for a quick review. I am attempting team tortoise this month and just realized that I hadn't written a review yet! Anyway, lets get to it.
Grows:
Did you try to attempt rhyming in the first stanza? If you did, I think it would be better if you made it rhyme a little better and made the other stanza's rhyme as well. Also, it seemed kind of strange that the title is world peace when the poem is talking about going to war. I don't think that world peace would follow war, in my opinion but I don't really know.
Glows:
This was a great poem! I liked what it was about, cause some people very close to me have gone through the same things and that is exactly what they have told about, so you got it spot on. Great job! I hope to hear more from you.
I hope that you are enjoying 2021, that you have a good valentines day, that you keep writing and have a good rest of the day!

Sincerely,


Hannah

After war, it will surely take another decade to finally rebuild everything. Each loss for every single family cannot be easily compensated.
As for me, this is quite short to cover the possible happenings between each lines.

I am afraid I do not understand the central premise presented here. Are you saying that soldiers get a place to sleep and food to eat, which is a kind of peace for the poor and destitute? This is true, in a sense, and in fact, the same is often said of prison's. Technically, this was a solidly written poem, no grammatical errors leap out at me. But it could certainly use more fleshing out, devoting more time to the graphic horrors of war, as well as expanding poetically on your central thesis? I read it, and I feel it just wasn't very impactful.

Hello! Lady Mysterio, here. It's been a while since I've done a review.
I love this piece. It's a simple piece that still well gets the point of the poem across.
I've never thought about peace being obtained or rather simply being, in the middle of a war. usually, people think of peace as being after a war.
I like the new perspective though.!
Have a good day!
-Lady

Nice poem. I like it. However, I have to be bit pessimistic here. How can we have world peace when people talk about it while preparing for the next war? It's simply impossible to achieve world peace with such double-standardness.