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by thegirlwhofateloves
  • November 30, 2005
  • Poetry
  • Other

Deleted. No one, including moi, liked this anyway.

Comments & reviews · 3
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thegirlwhofateloves
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thegirlwhofateloves commented · Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:38 am

I didn't mean death by glass in a literal sense. It could be taken to mean anything - like crashing into an image of yourself - not just as it is written :wink:
I don't particularly love this poem to be honest, though!

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Jennafina
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Jennafina commented · Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:26 am

Is it possible to be killed by glass?

I think this would flow better if you took out 'Ignore the scarlet of my head'.

As a mere shadow I watch myself die is my favorite line.

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented · Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:07 am

Maybe a comma before sigh, or just swap another word for it (unless the people are the ones sighing)

Not bad; and I like it. Personally I'd call it-Smack, Crack, Black



The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath