Young Writers Society

k. so I'm keeping my promise so you should be mildly happy at that. got to say I'm impressed with this poem. 1 because I have zero ability to write poems that rhyme but also because you have done a really good job at building the atmosphere. While reading it it gives me a really confined, claustrophobic feeling. Like pressure that is slowly relieved until the end when it fully let out. Got to say vibing with the final line. Bolding the word blind was also an interesting visual choice as you can see as the poem has its turning point in tone.
See ya around Dori.

I really adore this poem! It has a very nice rhyme scheme making it rememberable and nice to read. I also really love the metaphors of the knights and how it portrays the girl as being blind and naive and wanting love because of society when in reality she needed to be more confident and be her own person. I love the light and the sun and how she wanted a lover as the symbolism for that. Its a really good message as being confident and being your own independent woman in society.

I love this poem! It's beautiful, and the reader can feel the strong will of the girl throughout the poem. I enjoyed your use slant rhymes and putting the word "blind" in bold. It adds sort of another element to it. My favourite line is "She urged for the light even in the darkness." That line to me seems very flexible, as it can apply to so many situations. Your poem is quite lovely!
I have one suggestion. To me, the line "for blackout horrified her enough for making her life a complete mess." seems a bit wordy to me. Maybe you can try eliminating some words and simplifying it. Of course, this is just a suggestion, and it's up to you Either way, this poem is really beautiful, and I enjoyed reading it! Thank you so much for sharing it <3
p.s. I also really like the last line

Hi! This is a great poem. The rhyming, the vibe and the message all are very clear. My favorite lines from your work are the last lines. I can't stop reading them again and again. I feel the title is apt too.
This is actually a beautiful piece of work. Thank you for sharing this. Indeed, this poem has a beautiful message.All the best for your future works as well.
Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya

Hi theescaper020!

This poem I found to be so powerful, It moved me in a way I could not describe.
I love how you express her in these lines,

"She urged for the light even in the darkness,

for blackout horrified her enough for making her life a complete mess."

I completely understood what you were trying to express here, my favorite lines in this piece.

I also wanted to comment on the rhythm, which was also very nice and clear. It is evident that you put in the work for this poem.

Overall I am in love with this, the message you have expressed here was beautifully written.
This happens to be one of my first reviews so bear with me but this is a piece I will remember.

Never stop writing!
-rileywrites

Hey theescaper020,
This poem is so beautiful! I love how you were able to write such a simple poem yet be able to bring across such a strong message. To be honest, I wouldn't change a thing about this poem. It has a good rhythm, all the lines rhyme, and it's very clear. Keep on writing!!!
- Stellarjay