Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hi there. 567ajt here, reviewing this poem for you.
I have to say, right off the bat, that I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love your title. It's such an impossible thing to do, but you do it in a casual way. This is a good thing, by the way.
"The stimulus, and the subject reacts as expected,
a fixed pattern so ingrained it seems innate
some primitive remnant that defies self control."
This sounds very scientific and very complex. You also use the right words too. Some people just throw in fancy words and don't know the meaning, but you certainly do know the meaning. It also fits in with the story. This lab rat is being tested on, and thinks he is free, yet he isn't.
"Results are subsequent degeneration,
a lustful bundle sliding down the slope
conditioned to welcome failure like a treat."
This rat is destined to fail, and is denied the opportunity to continue his already diminishing life.
"I am the lab rat with visions of grandeur.
I can outsmart the scientist."
Perfect. Perfect way to end it.
So, overall, you've done an excellent job. This surely needs more comments and likes than it does.
Wow! That is different, from the perspective of a lab rat! Vey good.