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141,274 Literary Works • 674,332 Reviews
Hi there. 567ajt here, reviewing this poem for you.
I have to say, right off the bat, that I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love your title. It's such an impossible thing to do, but you do it in a casual way. This is a good thing, by the way.
"The stimulus, and the subject reacts as expected,
a fixed pattern so ingrained it seems innate
some primitive remnant that defies self control."
This sounds very scientific and very complex. You also use the right words too. Some people just throw in fancy words and don't know the meaning, but you certainly do know the meaning. It also fits in with the story. This lab rat is being tested on, and thinks he is free, yet he isn't.
"Results are subsequent degeneration,
a lustful bundle sliding down the slope
conditioned to welcome failure like a treat."
This rat is destined to fail, and is denied the opportunity to continue his already diminishing life.
"I am the lab rat with visions of grandeur.
I can outsmart the scientist."
Perfect. Perfect way to end it.
So, overall, you've done an excellent job. This surely needs more comments and likes than it does.
Wow! That is different, from the perspective of a lab rat! Vey good.