When you look out into the ocean
You might think what lives below
When you search through the forest
You might think about what was here before
When you are alone and bored
You created stories, thoughts, lyrics
And suddenly you are swept up
In your own story
You review what you did today
And what you might do tomorrow
And then you are lost in thought
And it takes a while
Before you resurface
From your own mind
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Beatles fan, huh?
me too.
anyways, about your poem, I enjoyed it, it was...
to say the least, I found it quite refreshing.
describing the mind, the thgouht process, the creative flow,
per se.
I like that term, "Per Se"
anyways, punctuation would be a good idea, make thing more... understandable for lesser life forms.
joking, joking,
sometimes there are people who never re-surface from their minds... like me, I permanently reside in the infinite insanity that my mind has become...
I am always lost in thought, like a child lost in the woods, but I like it like that.
good poem, a bit deep, if you understood it,
Peace,
God
Interesting poem overall. Although I think that you could add some more details in there. You also need some punctuation. It runs on and on without it. There also needs to be stanzas in there. Angel has pointed that out for you alreadt though. I find that I can relate to this. I also get lost in my own thoughts. Maybe you could point out more. Add what he thinks about what he thinks he might want to do tommorrow. This poem definately has potential and could be amazing. Good luck and keep writing.
Hey there!
I quite like this though I think this can be better.
Great beginning, by the way but I think it should look like this:
Stanzas are your friends.
Okay, although I liked that beginning, I don't see how it pertains to the rest of the poem. I feel like this is not finished and that your thoughts are bunched up. I'm not saying that it was bad, because it wasn't. I think a few lines here and there to flesh this out a little won't hurt. Remember, poetry is free, like all other writings. You can make this as long as yourself, take advantage of this and let your thoughts fly.
If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
Keep writing,
~Angel