1. It lights a match to illuminate your darkness...but then leaves it by
the trees--you mistake the danger of this flaming forest fire for
passion
2. It grips your wrist tightly, pulling you into a beautiful world amongst
the stars--it's not long before you begin to find comfort in the
shadows
3. It paints poppies in your garden and sunsets in your skies, but
passing time only lets the light disappear and the flowers die
4. It's the soft patter of raindrops as you're falling asleep, a
lullaby, sweet and calming-- until the day that gentle drizzle becomes a
tsunami
5. Love is the most beautiful form of self reduction, disguised as magic and ending in destruction
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,890 Literary Works • 673,704 Reviews
This is a really beautiful poem. It's really nice to read because it's so short, but the words it uses carry so much meaning. The imagery is wonderful, and describes love in a really lovely way to read. It painted great pictures in my head, and the title did a great job at pulling me in.
Well done! Keep writing.
Hey hey! EverWinter here!
Let me tell you, that title just sucked me right in. I was like... Hmm... Love... NYOOM.
Anyways, I like this little list. I think you could turn this into a full blown story. One of those that is like a girl writing a journal while she goes about real life. Kinda like To All the Boys I've Loved Before or something. Except that one is letters, not a journal. But this has great potential, even as a short. Each number is a chapter.
I really think you could expand this. Just from your writing style, it seems like you like poetry. That's really cool. I'd love to see what you do with this!
The way you wrote this was interesting. You definitely kept the reader's attention. Great job!
Ever
Thanks so much, love. I'll definitely try that!
Love is a tricky thing, and I'm like the way you illuminate all of the hidden truths behind it. It seems that this beautiful and twisted things has come to haunt you, and I can honestly relate to that. Love is like a bullet to the heart, and please bear with me as I tell you why, although it may sound odd. Love is like a bullet because it hurts more than almost anything and can stop a heart, but the blood from the wound is a beautiful scarlet (as gruesome as that may sound). This piece is well written and proves that you are far more than talented. Keep writing!
Thank you very much x
OMG I LOVE THIS!
A quick review though. I think instead of having your lines numbered, you could split the lines into stanzas. That would make it more poem-y and also a bit easier to read.Poetry is all about the way you read it, so long lines can be confusing. Secondly, you should make it clear whether you think love is good or bad. Or, if you want love to be both, just make it even more confusing.(XD)
I really love this!! Keep writing
~Lucy
Thank you so much
x
Thank you so much
x