Owen once told the earth the whole story,
For his passing was soon to come.
The stars, the trees, the grass and even the owls,
Heard every last word.
But he told the tale at night,
When the world does rest.
And the birds don’t fly
And the fish don’t swim
Owens story soon became a myth of the night,
And an object of daytime discussion and desire.
But men did wonder
So men did search
They explored at day
When the world does live,
And the tigers do run
And the lions do growl
The men never found the secrets
That the sun was hiding.
And never questioned why
Owen told his story when the world does rest.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi theae--
This is certainly an interesting piece of writing, and welcome to YWS! We hope you're finding your way around okay!
Now onto the poem:
I honestly have no idea what you are getting at. The beginning is about him telilng a story because he's dying...I think, and then in the end it really doesn't make any sense.
But, really I think the main thing here is this reads like a story, not like a poem. It reads like prose, that is, and you really don't want a poem to do that unless it is narrative--and even then it's a bit iffy. Try using shorter lines, adding some poetic elements, etc. etc.
Also, I didn't like the connotation of "does" and "do". I think it would help greatly if you just said "when the world rests" or "rested" the does and do would work only if they had a significant part of the structure....and they really aren't.
I would really like to know what you are getting at here, but I feel like we have no idea what the story was about and, although that may have been the intention, that also means the reader has no interest in the story and therefore no interest in Owen telling it/not telling it. It could be an interesting piece, but right now it's a bit to scattered!
Good luck!
okay so i feel like i would really like this poem if i knew what it meant...but unfortunately, i really rot at figuring out what poems mean. the title caught my eye though firstly becuase i love the name owen, and second of all becuase allegory is a nice word after all. i really like this bit:
"But he told the tale at night,
When the world does rest.
And the birds don’t fly
And the fish don’t swim"
exept for "the world does rest" bit, becuase i dont know it didn't flow as well as the rest. but i like how i can picture the water all calm and dark becuase the fish aren't swimming, and the sky empty and pure becuase the birds aren't flying, and it was very nice imagery altogether.
however, as i said, i have no idea what this poem is talking about (although it is most likely just me being stupid).
good poem though, considering only the surface: the words and the imagery and such. very much a nice job, but perhaps you would like to take pity on a girl who doesn't always get things, and explain what this poem means.