Published September 4, 2007
Wasting lines
Wasting space
My useless words
I can't replace
Writers block
Consumes my mind
My muse is lost
My thoughts confined
Frustration
Error
Scribbled notes
I grab my coat
I walk the town
In search of hope
Of inspiration
Diet coke
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140,581 Literary Works • 673,530 Reviews
This was awesome! It's like, writer's block described completely. Well, the basis of it. I find that writer's block is not the same for every one, and you seemed to have portrayed to the reader what you do when you have writer's block, which is awesome, personal, and it helps us readers connect. Well done, I really enjoyed this. And the rhymes aren't unbearable! I liked them!
[Caitlin]
Thanks guys.
Just as a note:
the lines "Scribbled notes / I grab my coat" are meant to sound disjointed to change the feel when she gives up... and the 'diet coke' line is meant to symbolize distraction, well, that's how I rationalize it anyway
Thanks again for the great feedback.
I like it, but I'd use punctuation. I know there's an article on it around here somewhere, but I can't for the life of me remember where...
"My useless words
I can't replace"
sounded a little odd to me. Is this a whole sentence in itself? If so, I'd reverse it so the syntax isn't twisted, and adapt the rhyme accordingly, or else change it altogether.
I also think you need a line between "Scribbled notes
I grab my coat",
as it disturbs the rhyme and thus the flow.
Other than that, the flow was good, and the theme was well developed.
I have writer's block right now, I'm trying to write four stories.
he...great except that diet coke thing is kinda funny but random
Funny! *giggles while eating, spills food on self*
Um, it seemed like the rhyme kind of stopped. The first four lines were great, really great, and then it just kind of fell apart. Plus, Diet coke? I don't get it. Work on your rhyme, but otherwise great job. Kudos!
I liked this, it flowed really well! Also, while I was reading it, I read it quite fast so it added a little more beat and passion into the poem too.
This is great... Keep writing ^^
XD This is great! Apparently you didn't have writer's block when you wrote this... or maybe you did, in which case you conquered it! *huzzah*
This is good, well; I liked it. =D
I will say that I think it is a little long, just in that I felt that it should have ended at "Scribbled notes". the rest seems unnecessary (although funny) and I think it would make more of an impact if it didnt have all that extra stuff.
That said I did like it, Writers Block is terrible ne?
*Hearts* Le Penguin.