Opaque

The rain fell gracefully in a never-ending stream. Soaking the trees, the soil mushing into mud, the cool seeping into the wooden floors of the house. However I couldn't smell the rain through Dad's cooking, which was a nice change for once.

Walking through the hallways, my footsteps padding on the floors -- the mundane interrupted by a dim glow in the dark. My steps came to a slow halt.

''God, it's been on for a while,'' I muttered into the empty room. However as my eyes caught on the numbers filling the screen, I found that my thoughtfulness was rewarded with the ugly truth. Debts, and an email from the landlord offering her last notice. Mrs Penelope. She always had been patient with my father, his drinking history, and all that he came with.

My little bubble of assumed safety was then further broken by the same man who´d placed us in this position yelling:

"Dinner's ready!" I couldn't quite find it in myself to care at the moment. Until softer, rapid, bare footsteps smacking against the floor came running down the hallway for me. Which told me she was barefoot again. Shutting the laptop, and turning around saw me find the cute, little, ray of sunshine that was my sister right in front of me

"Matt!" She exclaimed, her tufts of light brown hair - akin to mine - in pigtails that bounced with every movement.

"Dinner, right?" It wasn't a guessing game for me to know what she was here for, so I let the vibrant gremlin lead me to the kitchen where mouth-watering aroma promised delicious food. Yet, despite the serene, almost familial setting, all I could find myself thinking was how a man could be so selfish. My discomfort wasn't because financial instability was a new topic, it wasn't, but on how my own father could simply sit there. I wondered, did he feel the need to take from them every time his brown met their mother's green eyes? Thus, every time he glanced did he forget the pair of green eyes belonged not to the woman who abandoned him, but to his children's faces?

~~~~~

The car was peaceful. It was late into 11 pm, and the rain had finally conceded. Leaving only the damp night in its memory. Bon Iver playing through the radio. Holocene. He knew the song very well. Daniel found the cool of the air conditioning brushing over the hairs on his arms comforting. Then again, it made the warmth he'd come to accustom with alcohol, that ran from his throat down to his chest, far more vivid. Additionally, it would make it easier for himself to drown in the Jack Daniel's and guitar thrums. Taking him back to his teenage years...stupid, guitar-thrumming youth. Nevertheless, he found it all quite comedic, if not bordering mockery. No matter how much he stared into nothingness, unblinking, he'd wake the next morning and the haze clouding this moment would be thicker than trying to see through the clouds above him.

Slosh-slosh

Little remained.

"Fuck,"

~~~~~

I didn't understand plenty of things. One, specifically, was why the man sitting in my father's car cried when the candle blew out after whispering blows on it for so long. Standing there, watching him through the crack of the opened door, concealed in the darkness. The lights in the house itself, off. The only source of a light was a little, warm lamp on the corner of the garage opening, with moths circling it. His rugged but neat look was a horrid hoax on his parent's part, in my mind. And perhaps -- secretly, even though I'd never admit it -- I hated how I looked more like the hardened man he is now than the hope-filled teenager he once was.

"Elena?..." The small hand suddenly on mine felt like cold water splashed on me. I turned around in horror to find Danielle's great big eyes, and button nose staring at me.

''What?'' I uttered, my mouth dry. Yet, I received no response and only a confused stare. ''What are you doing up at this time, Danny?'' I crouched down to pick her up. "You're not supposed to be here, come on, let's go back to bed'' I said, voice softening.

''Nuh! The Monster's under my bed!''

"Come on, we'll go fight the monster'' I replied. Her, and her monsters....Then, I stopped at her door. How long had it been since someone had slept with her?

''Hey...Danny? How about we sleep in my room tonight. Then I'll fight the monsters and tomorrow, you can go back to sleep" It didn't take much enthusiasm to persuade her.

''Yeah! Matt's room! Can I sleep with Spiderman?'' Danielle exclaimed with energy.

"You can play with the Spiderman figurine, and all the other one's when you wake up'' I responded, but failed to conceal the flicker of fondness in my voice.

A song repeated twice, and 10 000 head pats later found Danielle Rose Izaac asleep. God. Although, wasn't that just it? Laying on my bed besides her sleeping figure, it seemed unfair that he got to drink and I would later find myself angrily singing at my own competition, on the brink of tears:

"In the dead of night,

I've called you up, wailing over a telephone booth,

'Cause home wasn't far enough...''

All in front of a half-drunk father who'd never know what, or why, or me...

Ironically, still, it wasn't myself I was in anguish for, but Danielle who'd be left with that bastard.

Elena was the eldest out of all of us. She also remembers mom the best, the messiest moments, the final split between mom and dad which really happened ages ago. She was the first to leave this place. She went to Ireland for college. Ever since, she hasn't visited a single time. She picked the furthest place possible, somewhere where nobody would know either of our parents and she was out of reach. So, for the longest time, I resented her. I resented her so much, because I thought I was angry she had abandoned us here. However, now I understand that it's not resentment. It's fear that I'll become her.

A spitting image of our parent's appearance wherever I went, haunting me in the mirror, and what of Danny? Who would sing our little sister to sleep?