There once was a fly who fell in love with a spider who spun his web in a charming corner. He begged her to join him, one day, while he dined on a few tasty morsels with sweet, red wine. Wrapped in a gown of silk, she fell eagerly into his arms and poured her heart into his glass.
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Heyheyhey it's me.
Today I'll be reviewing your work, I find it's a bit too short for me. But I love how it's poetic and flows within detail. It doesn't lack detail though, is this a flash fiction? I think maybe if you added maybe a bit more of the characters thoughts, 'How is the spider feeling, fly?', 'Why did she love him that much?' etc. It was still a likeable story just needed a few more sentences on the thoughts, although that might just be me!
I find this flowed like a poem, like a bitter sweet, low sort of poem. It seemed beautiful and mysterious edge to it, which I totally like. I see no grammar or spelling errors so that's amazing!
This was a totally new format of writing for me and I totally love, love, loved it! Even if it was a bit short to me I guess it's just right for you.
Happy writing and beautiful work!
I'm actually going to leave this as a comment, because is too short for a proper review.
I'm not an expert in the field of flash fiction, so we'll see where this review goes. From what I've gathered from the Internet, your don't quite fit the mold of it. For future reference: I've found a few articles.
This details on how to write good flash fiction and what it is.
There are examples of flash fiction on here, just for reference.
Take a good look at them, if you ever decide to alter your story. Let me know.
No, I will not be editing this story beyond a few minor edits to wording and such that I've been planning to make since completing this draft. You see, I'd first like to say that I don't feel as though all fiction must fit into a specific mold because if that were the case we would never have gained genres that are now becoming quite popular, like flash fiction. Secondly, this story is not meant to be a work of flash fiction. It is a form of what I suppose could be called experimental fiction called "micro-fiction" which are extremely short stories often under 100 words. This particular work is the first in a project that I'm currently working on which is a series of such micro-fictions (all under 100 words) based of the work of a Dutch author who is nearing the completion of a series of 1001 similar works he's calling 'square stories'. They are based of the stories of the thousand and one arabian nights and mine are taking inspiration mainly from fairy tales and fables.
I see, in that case, would you mind telling me a bit more about these micro stories? They sound very fascinating.
For something so removed from humanity the words somehow managed to tug at the heart strings. The last line is beautiful. However the whole thing is slightly disjointed, it doesn't flow as well as it should. I find my self working too hard to keep track of the story when there are so many commas everywhere too! However I did find this somehow pleasing and bitter sweet. Would be nice to read more