The Mortal Instruments Poem

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Her smile was warm and inviting
Her lips a soft pink,
sweet smell of rose perfume
her eyes as dark as ink.

Her hair as red as fire
her mind set on one guy
His name is jace Wayland
But clary is so shy.

She told him that she loved him
But found out he was her brother,
So together they were a team
they tried to love another.

But they couldn't love anyone else
They are meant to be,
Their hearts beating as one
Wishing they could be free.

when clary found out
That Jace was not her brother,
The story unfolded before their eyes
Now they are with each other.
Comments & reviews · 7
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AnimalQueen
Review

As a huge mortal instruments fan, this poem really appealed to me. It's very rhythmic, and, I must say, accurate.

Also, you described Clary's eyes as "as dark as ink." I'm not sure if you meant dark brown or dark green, the latter of which is her actual eye color.

Overall, the poem was pretty good. I feel like you really captured the nature of Jace and Clary's relationship. Keep up the good work!

This is so great! I love this book series and I am so glad you wrote a poem about it. It is suck a great story and just reading this poem made me smile.

It told their story really nicely, and It's almost like you could read it and enjoy it without actually reading the books.

None of my friends have ever really tried to write a poem about the mortal instruments before, so congratulations and well done! :)

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IrishFire18
Review

Hi there!
I want to say a few things regarding this poem.
First of all, I love it simply because of the fact that it rhymes!
Second, I like it because I actually happen to adore the books you've based this poem off of. Have you read all the ones that are out now? It's an incredible series. Personally, I love Jace. (:
Third, and most importantly, let's talk about this poem itself and the content. There are only a few grammatical errors (i.e., capitalization, punctuation). It's mostly the usual little tiddly bits of things that aren't incredibly important but fixing those errors would make it a little easier to read. It's got a good flow, it's got nice imagery. The things to fix are super easily done, and I could help you if need be. Send me a message if you need help! (:
Over all, this was very nicely done. I adore it!
Happy holidays.
Keep writing!
-Fire

User avatar
Innergy
Review
Innergy wrote a review · Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:08 am

Heartwarming and cradling sensations fill my soul when I read this. The colorful imagery is perfect for this type of poem. There is a strong loving bond between the two characters. The overall structure is good and this gives me an idea of how I might wanna structure my own poems.

Oh wow! Thank you heaps :D

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sam99 Comment

That Was Pretty.



The shame of being a man - is there any better reason to write?
— Gilles Deleuze