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E - Everyone

.D.U.S.T.

by tautik1234


Prologue

A taxi vroomed through the busy streets of Crimopolis. An old scientist is sitting in the back seat, reading a newspaper from the 'A.T.B' Newspaper Company. The date is 29 March 2095. Everything, literally everything runs on electricity. Fossil fuels were exhausted long back in 2063. Now, fossil fuels are available in museums.

 Here, if the network speed gets less than 1 GB/second, it is referred to as 'slow network'. The scientist asked the taxi driver to stop near an old building, which is used for printing banners. He went inside the building and stood near an old scanner. He scanned his handprint and suddenly an elevator from down came up. He got into it and once again scanned his fingerprint.

 Then a green light glowed and a voice saying, "Access granted" was heard. Under the building, there is a laboratory setting. So many scientists were working. There was a large board and on it printed is a DNA Structure. Their main theme is Cross-DNA. Suddenly, a scientist came out, but he was pushing a wheelchair in which an old man was sitting. Looking at him, the scientist guessed that he is around 70 years old.

 The old scientist asked, "Why did you call me sir?". The young scientist replied, "To create a CrossDNA serum." "What? How should it help?" started the old scientist. Before he could, the old man coughs intentionally, and the old scientist stopped talking. The old man asked, "Do you know dung beetle??" The old scientist replied, "Yes, of course. It's the strongest insect and animal in the world."

"What about Cheetah, Peregrine Falcon, and Black Marlin?"

"These are the fastest animals on Earth, Air, and Water respectively."

"Spittle Bug and Tardigrade?"

"Spittle Bug is the ...um... Highest Jumper and Tardigrade is the strongest survivor, it can survive in space also."

"So, you know their names and powers, but I need all of their powers!" said the old man.

"But how?" questioned the old scientist. "That's why he asked you to come here." answered the young scientist. The old scientist thought for a minute. "What about injecting their saliva?" The young scientist said "No. That is what made him look like a seventy years old person in twenty-seven years. You need to make a serum, which, when injected or swallowed, mixes with his DNA to make him a superhuman." Then the old scientist replied, "Then I need three months."

The old man replied, "Take four months! But I need them and I should be BACK to my younger self!" shouted the old man. "Ok, sir." The old scientist said and left the building. The old man started looking at a screen that showed the world's total population and below the screen written "Operation Dictator". The old man eyes became small and he read aloud "My Wor-."

"-ld. Yes, this name correctly suits my new RunCraft World." Said Toby. "Dude, you didn't even change the name of the world and saying that it's perfect." Said, Andrew. They both are in Andrew's house. He bought the new version of RunCraft. "Dude just one more time." Said Toby. “Toby, you had been telling me this for the last 2 hours. Come on, the school starts in another 30 minutes." Said, Andrew. "Come on Andrew! I forgot about school". They both started running and caught with the bus.

.D.U.S.T.

Chapter 1

“So children, today we are going to learn…” started the teacher. Toby is just listening to the teacher. He sits in the first bench. After the class, they all went on a fitness examination. The PT master started explaining about the tests to be conducted, “So students, today you all are going to have fitness examination. The first test is strength.” He told everyone to start playing dodgeball. Everyone can dodge and hit except for Toby. He managed to hit a few but he was not able to dodge any. The second test is running race. In this, Toby came 6th. The third is swimming in which Toby is not able to even secure the last place, he stopped in between. Coming to long jump and high jump, he successfully failed three times. He got F+ on Fitness Test. After the test, everyone went to the class. After everyone settled in their places, the teacher said, “Ok students, next month we are going for an excursion trip.” Said the teacher. Everyone became excited, as well as Toby. After school, Toby asked Andrew “Do you know where we are going for the excursion trip?” Andrew guessed, “To some laboratories as I heard some teachers talking about it.” “Ok dude, thanks. And today we are going to play RunCraft in your home.” Andrew replied “Ok.”

One month later, the day they are waiting for has finally come. They started for the excursion trip to Robert Group of Laboratories. “Welcome children, today we are going to Robert Group of Laboratories, famously known as RGL, established and running by Sir Robert.” Explained teacher wile they were in the bus. As they are strolling through the laboratory, they saw many advanced technology machines, several extinct creatures, and plants photos and reconstruction, so many files about extinct creatures. “The goal of Sir Robert is to bring back extinct animals with their DNA in the fossils.” Said the female scientist. On the way, Toby saw a test tube filled with rainbow colors. He went closer to it. Suddenly Robert shouted, “Don’t touch it!” In surprise, he turned around and knocked it on the ground. Robert became very angry. He started shouting, “Do you know the value of the chemical?? It’s a rare one. I need to again work hard for another month for that rare chemical.” The lab assistants came to the sight and cleaned it. The teacher and Toby apologized and Robert eventually accepted. While going throughout the laboratory, a spider accidentally bit him. Suddenly, his skin color turned pale green. His vision started to blur out. The last words he shouted was “Andrew!” and Andrew quickly noticed him. He ran towards Toby but Toby fainted. The teacher rushed him to the hospital. The teacher called the parents and they came to the hospital. The teacher, principal, and Robert apologized for what happened. A few minutes later, he is declared safe. His skin color turned back to normal. He went home with his parents.

Chapter 2

The next morning, Toby, in half-awaken state, got up from the bed but fell down, to which he did not feel any pain. He followed his daily routine. After breakfast, he saw the bus going away without picking him up. He ran to catch up with it, but he started running at an abnormal speed, he started running very fast that it would have taken him fifty seconds if he had run normally, but with this new speed, he caught the bus in five seconds. Later in the fitness test, he had hit and dodged all the balls, came first in running race and swimming, had jumped the highest and longest in class. He got the overall first prize and got A+ in his Fitness Test and so many opportunities had opened for him. He was just as surprised as his friends were. The bullies in the school started to bully him that how can he come first in everything. Instead, he had picked a fight with them in which they lost. He was happy as well as shocked by this sudden change in him because he did not even win one fight with the bullies. As he started to return home, he noticed a shadow behind him, but when he turned back, no one was there. Suddenly someone pulled him into the dark. When he saw their face under the streetlight, he recognized her. She was the scientist who accompanied his class throughout the excursion trip. He asked, “What are you doing?” The woman replied, “I saw you in the morning running as fast as a cheetah behind the bus. I know what happened to you. As the spider bit you in our lab -”

“-I became a Spiderman?!” interrupted Toby, as he loves Spiderman.

“No, that is all your fantasy. The spider had created a small hole on your hand, which allowed the chemical, which fell on you to penetrate inside and work. You got sick because of the chemical. You had become a Superhuman- as fast as Cheetah on land, Peregrine Falcon in the sky, and Black Marlin in the water. You can jump as high as a spittlebug does, you can even survive in space and you became as strong as a dung beetle.” Disappointed at first, after listening to everything, he became as excited as Columbus did when he first discovered America. “Is this true?” questioned Toby. “Yes. With great power comes-”

“-great responsibility, I know it.” Said toby. “Let me speak first. With great power comes great responsibility, you are right, but it also brings great danger. You heard that right. Great Danger. At present, Robert is searching for you so he can extract your blood or even kill you. He created it for the wrong purpose but I guess it fell into the right hands. Use it wisely. Don’t tell anyone about this, even your best friends.” She later disappeared. Filled with new doubts, curiosity, and anxiety, Toby started to return home, with a new world in his head and a few foes behind his back. His shadow is larger than he is, and a small nest made a crown-type shadow above him while a cloth, which is torn from an old flag, gave the shape of the cape for the shadow, making him look like a superhero. He, at once, named his super self as ‘.D.U.S.T.’.

Chapter 3

He woke up early morning. He started thinking about yesterday night’s conversation but forgot about the part where he should not tell his best friend.

“Wait for a second, everything’s all right, but why did you name yourself as dust?” asked Andrew. “Well, I just wanted to.” Said Toby whilst shrugging. They both started to design a new costume for Toby. Andrew is good at stitching; he learned it from his mother in the free time after school. After stitching a few clothes together, he told Toby to get dressed up. He made a mask, which did not cover the forehead, eyes, nose, mouth, and chin; it is made using a green color cloth. Everything from his neck to legs is in yellow, except for the gloves and shoes, which are made up of green-yellow colors. He had a green belt with a yellow buckle, which has ‘D’ on it. He has his name ‘D.U.S.T.’ imprinted on his sleeves. “Wow!” exclaimed Andrew. “So, how can I detect my enemies? Maybe I have Spidey-sense?” questioned Toby in excitement. “Let’s see.” Said, Andrew. He asked Toby to stand in such a way that he is showing his back to Andrew. Andrew threw a ball on Toby, which had hit him. “According to my analysis, no, you don’t have Spidey-sense.” This disappointed Toby. He again started his daily life.

Meanwhile, Robert is getting calls from the old man. “It’s been two months since you asked me one month time; I guess one month has 30 days, not 60 days.” Said the old man. “Alex, just listen to me. Last month school kids came for an excursion trip and a boy accidentally knocked down the solution. I’m making another one which will be completed in a few days.” Explained Robert. “Ok. I’ll give you just one week because it takes another week for the solution to reach me, and another thing, keep an eye on the child who knocked it, if he has any superpower abilities, you know what to do (*coughs*),” said Alex. “Ok master.” Replied Robert with fear. “Steve! Where is Lucy? She told me she will take one week's leave and two weeks are over.” Questioned Robert. “She said she’s returning, sir.” Replied Steve. But in that time, she made Toby practice some skills and had set a goal for him- to destroy the second solution. She said that she will meet him in another two weeks and warned him to be safe. After two weeks, Toby returned to the same place where they meet for practice. A few hours later, he noticed that Lucy still did not come to the spot. However, his Falcon eyes did notice something on the ground- a blood trail. He followed it and reached a small lane, where his fear became true; his expectations reached reality, his heartfelt heavy, his heart stopped beating. There, he saw Lucy in a blood pool. He immediately went near her. She still has life in her; “To- toby. They found out that I came to train you. They asked me where you are, but I did not re- reply. I may die here right now (*coughs*), but don’t forget some things, the flight starts in another 1 week and the name of the flight is Aero-” she stopped speaking. She laid still in the red background. Toby was just there, shocked. He immediately called Andrew and told him to go to a hospital, which is near to him, and he took her in his arms and started running at the speed of a cheetah. He reached the hospital in one minute, handed Lucy to Andrew, and went to the top to change his attire. When he came down, he got to know that Lucy is dead. He did not utter a word there. As he was walking away from the hospital, Lucy’s parents reached the hospital, crying, and despair. Toby was just walking towards his home- without any expression on his face, just blank. He reached his home. When he was going upstairs, his mom asked, “What do you want me to make for dinner?” But he did not pay any attention, he just went upstairs. His mom did not ask him again and started making anything to eat. He went inside his room. He sat on his bed and was staring at nothing, for straight ten minutes. After that, he started to cry and was crying until he slept. His mom came upstairs to call him, but seeing him asleep, she did not disturb him for the whole night. In his heart, he started to develop hatred towards Robert, whom his school sees as a role model. He is starting to hate himself, if he had taken her earlier, she might have been alive. Now he deems himself as ‘not worthy enough’. He started to think that he was not able to hold up a responsibility. He just threw the suit in his old wardrobe and started to live like a normal boy, who does not score top in running races, high jumps, long jumps, and swimming, who just sits on the first bench and studies throughout the day.

Chapter 4

A week later, Toby was sitting on a bench in his playground. Andrew came running towards him. He reached Toby, panted for a few seconds, and slapped him. “What happened, dude? I gave you at least 200 missed calls. Why are you not lifting my calls? Dude, past is past. You- you tried to save her dude. You tried your level best. But fate played its game and took away Lucy sis from us. It’s- It’s not our fault. Please come back to normal dude. This world needs you. You can only save this world. Some bald person was trying to dictate this democratic world. Lucy sis also died for this reason. She wants you to destruct the plan of that bald guy.” Then Toby remembers small chitchat with Lucy.

“Lucy sis, why are you making me do this practice?” asked Toby. “There’s a lot more happening here. Our boss, Robert is creating a super serum named Dicrounitine Silotripate, which can transform a man into a cheetah, black marlin, falcon, tardigrade, and spittle. Do you know what the strongest animal on this planet is?” Toby replied, “Hmm, Elephant?” Lucy replied, “No, it is dung beetle.”

“What?!” exclaimed Toby.

“Yes. Dung Beetle can carry 1,141 times their weight. Suppose an average man’s weight is around 35 kgs, so he can lift around 39,935 kgs, this is the equivalent of an average person pulling six double-decker buses full of people!” exclaimed Lucy. Toby was in shock. “So, my boss is creating this super serum for an old man who wants to rule the world, when asked why he said that the old man gave nearly 250 crores for this! You need to stop this as soon as possible.”

Toby stood up from the bench. “People need me, Andrew. I need to go.” Said Toby. Then Andrew handed him a new suit. “I got to know that the bald guy lives in Scelesmundo. Here, I brought you a new suit with a red-blue combination, as you love Spiderman. The airplane starts in another 30 minutes. Hurry.” The suit has a mask covering everything except his nose, mouth, and eyes. The mask is red. It has eye-goggles of blue color, which covered his eyes. Everything is covered from neck to legs. The shoes are of combination red-blue. The quarter sleeves of the suit are red and the remaining is blue. It had a big D logo on the chest and has a D logo belt. The pants are blue. Toby ran as fast as he can, to stop the airplane.

Chapter 5

.D.U.S.T. started to run as fast as he can. He was crossing roads in seconds. Usually, an average person takes at least 2 hours to reach the airport. But Toby managed to reach the airport in 25 minutes. He soon caught up with the airplane. It started to move at moderate speed. He managed to catch the airplane’s tire and sat on it. Soon, the airplane took off into the sky. He had punched the bottom of the airplane and soon went inside. Some people were guarding the serum. He fought with them, took the serum box, and opened it. There was a note in it:-

“To the kid who opened the box,

We know you would come for this box and tricked you into believing. If you want to meet me, come here

ANC Newspaper Factory,

Scelesmundo.”

“I need to catch him up.” Though Toby. He felt that he have flying abilities because he has the DNA of Falcon. He came to the edge of the plane. He shouted “I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!” and jumped down. To his surprise, his hands helped him as wings to fly. He was surprised to see he is flying. He soon started to fly in the direction of Scelesmundo.

Chapter 6

He flew in the direction of Scelesmundo. He soon reached the ACB Factory. He got down on the roof of it. He busted down into it. It is dark in there. But his falcon eyes found everything. There were so many machines, which stopped working a long time ago, old machines, old paintings, old accessories, but something seemed new. There were so many footprints near the scanner. The scanner’s door is broken. He was looking at what happened there when the ground started to move down. He soon saw a full-fledged laboratory where no one is there. A large screen showed the world’s map. There were so many advanced technology machines. Suddenly someone pushed him from the backside. He got up and was looking who pushed him. There was an old man, who is bald and has so many wrinkles, but was so strong. “Finally, my goal, my dream, I’m going to become young in a few hours, and YOU, you came to spoil my dreams. And how can you think that I will spare you, kid!?” said the bald guy. “Do you want to dictate the whole world?” said Toby and started to run for beating him. Soon, the old man stopped him with his bare hand and threw him away. He fell and started to bleed. They both were engaged in a strong fight where both got injuries. At last, the old man took a gun. “Do you know what is this? This cures you, meaning, this subtracts the ‘super’ from you and transforms you into a normal ‘human’.” and aims at Toby. Toby got on his legs. He remembered that he has tardigrade powers. The old person shot a laser and Toby crossed his both hands that made a reflective shield around him. This reflected the laser and instead hit the old person, which took all his powers. Soon, police arrived and arrested the old person, named Alex. Before going, Alex told, “You don’t know what happened to me, kid.” However, Toby did not pay any attention. The police asked, “What’s your name, kid?” to which Toby replied “.D.U.S.T.”

Va Urma


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10 Reviews


Points: 436
Reviews: 10

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Tue May 04, 2021 2:47 pm
Otterpop wrote a review...



Greetings! Otterpop here, with a review!

So, one thing that I am VERY partial to in writing is a rule called "show, don't tell". It works especially well in fantasy, science fiction, and stories in first person POV, but it's used in many other genres also. For what you've categorized as a science fiction piece, there's an awful lot of telling through exposition and description rather than through action, dialogue, and sensory details.

I also have no idea what point of view you've chosen for the story. I think you were trying to go for third person, but it's hard to tell. Take the excerpt from Chapter 6:

"There were so many footprints near the scanner. The scanner’s door is broken. He was looking at what happened there when the ground started to move down."

The first and third sentences through the use of was, were, and started indicate third person point of view. But the second sentence uses 'is', and is not dialogue, so there is no determined point of view and can be really jarring to switch from a point of view to something that feels more like just writing something that doesn't quite fit with the story. I noticed the switches occur frequently across your short chapters.

That being said, you do seem to have a bit of a barebones start, but I'm thinking you can add much more to the story so that it doesn't feel so fast and forced. Heck, if you expanded and practiced more this could easily be up to a quarter or even a third of an entire novel! It's definitely got potential, but like everyone's writing whether amateur or expert, it's still got a little room to grow.

Keep in mind that I'm not trying to discourage you at all! I always like to help out writers where I can, and I hope some of this feedback.




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26 Reviews


Points: 461
Reviews: 26

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Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:48 pm
Sunflowerdemon3712 wrote a review...



Hello, Sunflower here of a quick review! : )

So overall I really like this story, it was very good and fun to read! But I do have a couple complaints.
So for starters the prologue was very forced. It didn't flow very well because it felt more like someone just telling you everything. I think it would have worked better if you had just dropped thing like that along later in the story like a character saying something like "you know fossil fuels haven't been used since 2063" instead of it being explicitly told to us.
Another this is that after people talking adding motion will make your story much more vibrant and it won't feel like your characters are just talking heads like changing the sentence from:

The old scientist asked, "Why did you call me sir?". The young scientist replied, "To create a CrossDNA serum." "What? How should it help?" started the old scientist.

, "Why did you call me sir?" The old scientist asked, looking the other up and down. The young scientist shifted in place and replied, "To create a CrossDNA serum." "What? How should it help?"the old scientist asked studying the other now more intently.

scenes flow better if you add motion because otherwise it just people talking at each other and they don't feel as human of real.
Another thing is that there are just huge big blocks of text and it just makes the whole story not flow as freely.

Other than those few things I like the story and the direction that it could go in and I greatly encourage you to keep on writing and have a great day/night! Bye! : )




tautik1234 says...


Hello Sunflower! Thank you for your wonderful review. Sure, I will make sure to add motion into the text and make it a little more free flow.




we went from advice to meth real quick
— ShadowVyper