Published July 7, 2012
As a person goes through life he acknowledges some facts. By the time he’s 80 he’ll probably just forget all of them. However, the significance of gathering and understanding those facts is tremendous as it is one of the factors of living till the age of 80 in the first place!
Fact no.1 : You’re the official owner of your life. Copyright(c) by YOU. All rights reserved.
Fact no.2 : It’s better to speak to yourself and have no public than to speak to the public and have no
self.
Fact no.3 : You only get what you want when you coerce the weaker into doing what you please.
Fact no.4 : Never plan on bringing the authority guy down out loud, Because if so, you’re going down
with him.
Fact no.5 : A romantic comedy always ends up with the girl realizing by the end of the movie that
she’s inlove with her bestfriend.
Fact no.6 : Always clamour for your rights. If it ends in epic failure then go ahead clamour for your
other rights. Us, human beings, abandon much of them like they’re rotten eggs.
Fact no.7 : Essential to clamp down on outrageous bursts, breakdowns and temper lose. A calm
cunning fellow is always the success.
Fact no.8 : Over-self confidence is the only path to reach the spotlight.
Fact no.9 : Getting emotionally attached to others is the worst. It makes you waste your times being
edgy, nervous and anxious. And it won’t be worth it since you’re gonna die anyways.
Fact no.10 : Life is full of mistakes and troubles and disappointments. But you also gotta know that it’s
full of joy and laughter and happiness. If there are no sad moments, then you won’t feel
any different in the happy ones.
What stopped me at fact number 10?! I don’t know the rest of them. By God’s will, a long life is still
ahead of me. So how many facts could i behold till the age of 80?! Well, i guess that’s a challenge I’ll have to keep up with.
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Hi, I agree with most of it.
''What stopped me at fact number 10?! I don’t know the rest of them. By God’s will, a long life is still ahead of me. So how many facts could i behold till the age of 80?! Well, i guess that’s a challenge I’ll have to keep up with.''
There's a limitless number of ''facts'' in every human life. But is it really a fact if it's only your opinion on certain parts of life? For example Fact no.9 and Fact no.8. They're not facts, but opinions.
However, I truly liked the final part where you left open space for ''more facts'' beacuse you never know where your life will lead you nor where/when you'll know all the facts of life nor will they even be important than.
Good idea and well written
Hi, this was an interesting piece and I have to say I agree with most facts. One or two I found worded a bit strangely and had to quickly reread but other than that it seemed fine. Out of all 8 and 9 were the only ones I didn't fully agree with but this is your life plan not mine so there is nothing wrong with that at all
Hey tam!
). Anyhow, I'm not going to critique your views, as that is not the purpose of reviews, instead I'm merely going to comment on the way you presented them.
Okay, I'm not exactly sure of the purpose of these facts... but they seem fairly reasonable (except for getting emotionally attached to others. I don't agree with your view on that
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I had to read Fact #4 several times before I understood what it meant; perhaps you could consider rephrasing it? It's a good theory (oops, I guess I am judging your ideas ;D) but the 'out loud' threw me off. Perhaps try 'publically' or some other synonym. Also, the 'authority guy' is sort of awkward...I'm drawing a blank on suggestions for this one, sorry.
Fact #6- clamor is a bit of a strange word here. "Always shout for your rights?"...maybe try 'fight' or 'defend'? But if you do decide to keep clamor, then note that there's no 'u' in it. "If it ends...other rights."~ this sounds a bit too...informal maybe? In lists like these I tend to use short, powerful sentences...maybe 'If you fail, then clamor (or fight) for your other rights"... or something...Also perhaps start your last sentence like 'We human beings abandon many (or most)" or simply "We abandon..." as it would probably be assumed that you're referring to humans.
Fact #7- Begin "It is essential..." and perhaps change 'clamp down' to 'supress' or 'restrain' or... take a pick of those synonyms. Also you wrote 'outrageous bursts', which is not what I think you meant. "Outrageous" means ridiculous or stupid...not angry. I think you meant outbursts, which, of course, could be preceeded by an emotion (angry...) Oh! And typo- you wrote 'lose' not 'loss'.
Fact #8- I think that the hyphen goes in between 'self' and 'confidence', not 'over' and 'self'.
Facts numbered 9 and 10- Alright, I now must warn you that I abuse commas...and semi-colons...so I am not an authority on which punctuation you should have where; though I know that you're not supposed to start a sentence with 'And', and your sentences are too short. You should ask Twit for help here; he's the bomb.
Conclusion- I think that I'd remove the exclamation point after '10'; I'm pretty sure it's technically correct, but I think it distracts. Same goes for after '80'.
"So how many facts could i behold till the age of 80?!"~ this is a bit awkward. Firstly 'I' should be capitalized. I'm not sure if 'behold' is the right word here either...Is 'So how many facts will I hold when I'm 80 years old?' what you meant?
In the last sentence, you left an 'I' uncapitalized. 'I's are ALWAYS capitalized when they're freestanding.
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Okay, so over all I liked your piece. It was presented fairly clearly, and your grammar and spelling were, for the most part, very good. I also liked the way you introduced and concluded this piece conversationally. This would be very easy to expand once you're older, and have more facts for us.
I hope that this wasn't too harsh. I do like your piece.
If you need any more help, or have any questions, feel free to PM.
Keep writing,
~Shady
I'm really grateful because your review really did help me alot. Thank you