Published June 24, 2009
time is running out
running out
running out
i'm all about
the sounds
the screams
but never about
time running out.
it starts, it end
but it can never bend
i see it, i beleive it
but i can never be it.
time is running out
running out
runnning out
i'm all about
the sounds
the screams
but never about
time running out.
by aishae
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141,436 Literary Works • 674,416 Reviews
I like your idea, but you need some description and imagery. Make it seem more natural and subtle
This is a solid piece, but the only, one, real criticism I can throw down is that overall it seems a bit formulaic. I can tell you are a great writer and you can lay down some sick rhymes, but mix it up a bit, break the mold you know? Poetry is formulaic, and maybe I am totally missing the point of it, i'm not a huge poet at all, but it seems like you have this step by step process to poetry down, just relax and let it flow! If i'm totally off though, void the above.