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E - Everyone


by swim380

Every day I feel the eyes on my back. I feel it watching me from that horrid place. Every step I take in that place its eyes pierce me like ice from the shadows.I've only ever heard its footsteps. I don’t know what it looks like nor do I want to, but sometimes it feels like when I close the door...Its eyes open.

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55 Reviews

Points: 107
Reviews: 55

Fri Dec 05, 2014 1:05 am
Linguistic wrote a review...

Oh my!!!! YOU MUST WRITE MORE IMMEDIATELY!!! I'm serious, I cannot wait for more!! It grabbed me right at the beginning, and held me there for the rest of the teaser. I did not like it.

I loved it!!!! Please write more -- seriously :)))

And tell me when you do!! Because I will read it, and review it immediately!!

swim380 says...

I'm glad you like it, but don't expect anything from this for a while. I currently have a small short story sitting in drafts so I need to go do some reviews.

swim380 says...

also I'm terrible at writing reviews so it will be a while

User avatar
125 Reviews

Points: 5275
Reviews: 125

Thu Dec 04, 2014 6:05 pm
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BookWolf wrote a review...

Ooo! :D Great description. Even though this is very short, I think this has amazing potential. You just need to work on placing commas and capitalizing after a period. Like right here;

ive only ever heard its footsteps. (ive should be I've)

The last line was perfect, I seriously felt a tingle go down my spine. :D Those words were just so perfect, and the three periods before it I think really made it even more suspenseful. The title is awesome and it fits the story you're trying to create beautifully. You should definitely turn this into a novel, I would really enjoy reading it. :D

And welcome to YWS! :D If you have any questions about the site, I'd be happy to answer them for you.


A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong.
— Orson Welles