Are they Looking? Watching? Staring?
As I come out of the water…dripping
Moving at the pace of a star
Without thinking
Reaching for the towel before it’s too late
Covering what I can in a haste
Are they Looking? Watching? Staring?
As I uncover my curse
and let my façade feel the universe
It's time to put it away
before I give my secret away
Its only for so long
the joy of my freedom
before I begin to hum
Are they Looking? Watching? Staring?
To be free of my own prison
What will it take
a penny, a nickel or a dime
To put an end to this chaos
a love or a life
But I know they are always
Looking, Watching, Staring....
~~Supriya
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
Hello there!
I would to review this work. I think that I am always having the same thoughts and I thought I am the only one being so weird and thinking about it. This is really relatable for me, as you can understand. You always feel like someone is behind you looking at you. Giving you the chills, does it not? I am sometimes like this also and most of us,or maybe all of us let's say, have felt it at least once in their life. At least once, we had asked ourselves who is there and who may be looking up from above or behind.
Good job. I have no complains conencted with this work. I liek that you had made the questions and the 'Looking,Watching' parts point out.
Thank you for reviewing and I'm very glad you liked it.
Hey there Supriya
Lovely poem you have here!
So first off, as someone who is fortunate enough to have access to a friend's backyard hot tub, I know exactly what you mean. Her neighbors are nosy, and it's just... strange. Makes your skin crawl and your self-preservation kick in even if you have nothing to hide.
Secondly, I really like the style of the poem. It has that near-panicked repetition to it that you feel when getting out of the ocean, pool, lake, etc. and realize you aren't the only one. (I really hope I'm getting the topic of this poem right, else this whole review is going to sound completely stupid)
I did notice that right here: "Its time to put it away; before I give my secret away," you repeat "away" twice in a row. It rubbed my OCD a bit, but other than that it looks like you're golden.
Finally, on a bit of a side note, I noticed that your work really expands past literal meaning and into metaphorical. It was a very good read, and I enjoyed it
Keep writing!~
Hello there, Thank you very much for the review. You absolutely got the message. This poem is in essence about not being comfortable in your own skin and constantly feeling the need to keep up one's appearance. Something I often struggle with. Thanks again! %uD83D%uDE0A
Hello, supriya. I really, really liked this because of the repetition and uniqueness. I always ask myself those questions. I guess you could call it insecurity, but it's more like curiosity for me. Onto the review.
"Its" should be "it's" because "it's" is a contraction and is short for "it is". "Its" shows possession. Also, I think you meant to capitalize "looking", "watching", and "staring" because you did it in the other stanzas.
You should also add some punctuation to your poem so it looks more professional and so it's easier to follow. Last thing is, you should go back and capitalize the first letter in the words of your title. Anyway, this was really well written. I love the idea. Keep writing so I can keep reviewing!
~Keep <3
Thank you Keep for the review. I'm not sure what sort of punctuation to add. I should let you know I'm very new to writing.