Published March 16, 2012
Falling. A sensation close to flying. The grass hold out its arms, but slices my wings as it laughs with the dirt. Panic courses through my lungs as they gasp for rhythmic inflation. With the condition of my wings, it is said that I will never fly. Of course I will, what else were birds made for? And yet, here I lie day after day, jumping for the slightest glimpse of flying, but gravity jerks on my chains and I plummet to my near death.
And then I lie there, day after day, listening to the silent whispers of the grass and dirt, stones and twigs scream, "No!" How cruel their lesson is. I bury my face into my feathers, day after day, hoping to stop the muted screams. It doesn't, as usual. I am tormented by not only by the grass, dirt, stones, and twigs, but other graceful fliers, day after day.
My mother, my father, my brothers and sisters, jeering the words, "Flightless Dreamer!" Oh how these words have pierced my hope and faith. I dream, day after day, that I soar. That I soar, rising beyond clouds and mountains. Rising above all jeers and enemies. The grass and the dirt, the sones and twigs, eating their soundless whispers of non-believing. That I reach the stars. And the stars whisper, "Welcome back."
Then I wake, day after day, to face the cruel actuality of it all. I get up, day after day, and do as told, but not today. Today, I stand at my perch, the wind guiding, aligning my feathers, I jump from my perch. And now day after day, I right my wings, and me and my dreams, soar.
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140,533 Literary Works • 673,403 Reviews
Hey! Forever here with a tiny review!!
This was a beautiful piece we had here sparkling a lot of tiny emotions throughout the piece. So, let's get right into it.
I loved how you started this. At the very first, you manged to capture the readers by describing falling as a sensation to flying. It makes the readers wonder a lot about the narrator of the story. Soon, we got the answer though. At the beginning, I got some vibes of a poem, I don't know why but I quite enjoyed it.
The bird really seems to be in a very poor condition and I hate how its own relatives are even insulting it. Hm... I wonder what really happened to the bird that caused it not to fly. Was it kind of an accident? Or was it from its birth only? Either can be the case. However, the word 'chain' makes me think that the bird is actually fettered by chains which are restraining it from flying. If that's the case, it's worse. What I do not understand is why a bird should actually be chained rather than caged. Was the chain symbolic of anything? Maybe it was but to me, it appeared more in the literal sense. Maybe it was chained earlier but now it's been released but the chains have made the condition of the wings terrible. Another thing is I think you should clarify the position of the bird from the very first, like at first, it appeared that it was lying on ground but then we discovered that it was in its perch.
Oh, the end was heartbreaking. It connects really well too the beginning when the bird actually falls from its perch. I think that only hurt the bird and pour water on its dreams. I hate how it must feel now. Its relatives should have saved her but they are way too selfish and discriminatory. The story was symbolic of the sufferances of beings with disabilities. It makes the reader think twice over the topic and what their deeds are. Overall, this was a very thoughtful piece.
Keep Writing!
~Forever
Hello there!
Okay things I liked:
I liked how much it wanted to fly, to be soaring through the air, like his mother father and family.
and the some of the ways you explained things.
This story reminded me of summer for some reason, that's a good thing by the way.
Things I thought were okay, was first it was a little short but hey it's about a bird it can be short,
and a couple of things that were kind of repeated, like day after day, if this was a poem that would probably fit better.
Nothing really happened I was confused I though it was on the ground then it was in its nest? or in a tree? a little confusing for me.
Good job over all! keep writing and become amazing!Stick to it~