Prologue
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Through Minds Eye (Chapter One)Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, this is somehow the second prologue I've run into that's a bit on the shorter side...and also happens to be one that's actually capable of getting you hooked as a reader. These are usually a much rarer thing, but I do have to say, at first glance, this is a powerful piece that immediately does manage to draw you right in here.
I especially loved the twist here, I think that is the main reason for this prologue to be quite so good at getting a reader's attention. The start just gives you no indication whatsoever of what might happen, we've got what appears to be someone that maybe has a crush on this woman being described, just go on describing how beautiful an innocent this one person looks and it all seems very wholesome and then just out of the blue, it looks like this person is actually planning a murder. Not only is it very interesting to see regret there on this person's side at having to do something like this but also just this sheer twist makes you really want to read on here.
Overall, this is a really powerful prologue considering its size and you've done a pretty good job here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
thank you so much! and there is more story, I'll post it soon!
Hello! First of all welcome to Young writers society! Enjoy yourself, do plenty of reviews, and have fun! I presume this is your first piece so I'll go easy on you! lol - only joking!
I really liked this piece - your writing was simple yet captivating. To be frank, I wanted to read on - is there an actual story, because I'd love to read it if there is?!!! You have found a good balance in your prose. I loved the gentle yet powerful nature of your writing in 'through mind's eye'.
Ok, so here's a nitpick of your work...
My likes and dislikes ect are in the red:
I hope you find this review helpful! Keep writing, and remeber, If there is a story, please post it. I'd love to read more! AC xxx
This is supposed to be a really short prologue, just meant to grab the readers' attention. I'm open to any suggestions but please no mean or rude comments dissing my writing. thanks