Hi there sugarcherrypop,
I'm here to review your piece! I think my first suggestion would be to go ahead and add a genre to it for two reasons 1) people are more likely to review works that are poems, stories, lyrics, or plays - and even if none of those categories fit, a little author's note saying it's experimental or epistolary or something can help clarify the artistic intention 2) genre helps a reader understand how we are supposed to be understanding the piece - as it, I'm not sure whether the intention is artistic or more blog-like - but a genre would help set the tone.
I'm not entirely sure if this piece is non-fiction because it's listed as "dramatic / realistic" - but it does certainly read as sincere I think.
I understand the primary message of the piece to be the speaker wants to communicate assurance to their friend who they feel is in a vulnerable place, so they remind them of a song that they both like. There's one sort of unresolved tension of the narrative on why these messages are communicated via letter rather than spoken and why the speaker misses the subject - has the subject passed maybe or moved? I think the end sort of moves away from that sort of interpretation but does pique my curiosity. It also seems like there could almost be a theme of unrequited or hidden love here too with the lines "my beloved friend" / "It seems as if I love you / and I do". This hidden love could be another reason the piece is in letter form rather than just communicated to the subject. Maybe there's another reason the letter can't be sent? As a reader I'm really not sure - but if this is more of a personal letter really intended to someone - best of luck in sending it if that's what you choose to do - I can't think of any repercussions for sending a good friend a friendly letter.
I think you could take this piece to the next level by perhaps playing into some of the implied narrative tension, or adding more context to the piece, or imagery - just like in novels you want to watch out balancing action and dialogue - in poetic pieces you want to catch a balance too - as is, the piece seems to be heavily dialogue, without any moments for description in there.
I think you could take a second look potentially at some of the punctuation consistency whether it's at the end of all the complete sentences or not- but overall I didn't really notice any spelling or grammatical distractions except maybe the period at the end which usually I don't think would follow a sign-off.
Hope that helps! Keep on writing.
alliyah
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
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