Published April 13, 2007
I am not very good at the rhyming part of poetry but i have many ideas i would like put into poetry.
PLEASE COMMENT
The Fields of Indiana
The feilds of Indiana
where is used to live
where corn grows abundant
and the horizon stretches
for miles and miles.
The feilds of Indiana
where the plain is
rarely broken by
mountainous terrain
where horses can ride
for miles and miles
The feilds of Indiana
where i used to live
where my closet friends
live their lives
miles and miles from me
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I'm assuming you moved?
I like that this doesn't focus on the emotions of moving, but on the place (I'm assuming) you moved from. Or the narrator moved from. Or whatever.
I had a hard time catching any sort of rhythm in this. The line breaks seemed a little jarring at times. Were you aiming for free form poetry, or did you have a specific style in mind?
(PS. I'd recommend taking your name down, for safety's sake. There was a mass PM sent out about this fairly recently.)