Half-Blood (A Dragon's Story) Chapter 5

Hi,
No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth but was really close . I just realized that I've had this done in my room since January . So, on with the review.

Bodies were burning, some were still bleeding,

still bleeding, most weren’t even full bodies, many were covered in dark red blood, and all were sprawled everywhere.

Buildings were still burning, smoking, completely ash, and completely crushed.

“Now you see why my people are so important to this kingdom even thought they don’t want our help.”

I saw three beautiful horses: two Arabian and one pinto.

I saddled and harnessed them half hazardly and walked them to the southern road.

“Healing it. It won’t take long. I was going to in the hotel but they interrupted me,” responded as she looked at me with a smile.

“Okay, well anyway I got three horses so if you two want to go anywhere, you can,” I said as I turned to the mother and her son.

she said as she walked over and took the pinto from me.

I responded as she mounted on the pinto.

“Yea, told ya it wouldn’t take long.

“Yea, and I would like to avoid all towns and cities until we get to our destination.”

We road on the southern road for several hours before coming upon another macabre sight.

“A couple days, why?”

Parts of the inner city were scorching, but most of it was up.

Hello again! Are you sick of me yet?

When we finally [s]got to the[/s] reached town, it was a macabre sight. Bodies were burning, [semicolon] some were still bleeding, [I think this should just be deleted, unless you can rewrite this better] [s]most weren’t even full bodies,[/s] body parts lay carelessly all over the roads. . [s]many[/s] They were covered in dark red blood, [s]and all were sprawled everywhere.[/s] [s]I couldn’t even believe that[/s] they didn't even look as if they had once been living humans. Buildings were still burning, smoking, [s]completely ash, and completely crushed[/s] and crushed into piles of ash.

We had stood there for several minutes gazing onto the horrid landscape in front of us, thinking of the horrors that had [s]caused it[/s] caused this disaster. At the time, it was hard for me to believe that my noble race had stooped so low as to slaughter unarmed innocents.

“Now you see why my people are so important to this kingdom, even [s]thought[/s] though they don’t want our help.”

I [s]had[/s] looked at her, [no comma] and nodded, [period instead] [s]and said,[/s] “We need to get to Zelcove desert as soon as possible. I’ll search for horses and meet you guys at the southern road.” They nodded and started heading [s]to where[/s] toward the [s]southern[/s] dirt[?] road [s]was[/s]. I [s]went[/s] turned the other way, toward the only stable in [s]the[/s] town.

When I reached it, I was glad to see that it was one of the [s]lucky[/s] only buildings that were partially intact. Before I even started walking towards it again, I heard a horse whinny. I was so [s]glad[/s] happy to see the building still standing, that I [s]rushed[/s] ran [or walked] into what was still standing of the stable. [s]I saw three beautiful horses[/s] Three beautiful horses stared at him with perked ears: two Arabian and one pinto. I saddled and harnessed them [s]half hazardly[/s] haphazardly, and walked them to the southern road.

By the time I had [s]gotten there[/s] found them, Carrie was sitting in some rubble.

I was going to in the hotel but they interrupted me,” period instead] [s]responded as [/s]she [s]looked at me with a[/s] smiled up at me.

“Okay, [period] [insert tag here] [s]well anyway[/s] I got three horses so if you two want to go anywhere, you can,” I said as I turned to the mother and her son.

“Thank you very much. My sister has a ranch east of here, [s]and I was planning on going[/s] so we can go there,” she said, [s]as she walked[/s] [not the 'as' again! Lol] walking over and [s]took[/s] taking the pinto from me.

“That would probably be best. Stay away from towns and cities as much as possible,” I [s]responded[/s] warned as she mounted on the pinto. I picked up her son and put him in front of her on the horse. “Farewell and ride safely,” I said with a nod before she rode off [s]to the east[/s].

“What made you a knight? Last I knew you were a mercenary,” said Carrie as she [s]jumped off the[/s] stood up from the rubble and rolled her sleeve down.

I [s]looked at her with a long stare then asked[/s] stared at her, asking, “Is it healed?”

She chuckled. [s]and replied,[/s] “Yeah, told ya [she never used this word earlier...] it wouldn’t take long.

“Yeah, and I would like to avoid all towns and cities until we get to our destination.”

“Sounds good to me.” [s]After she said that[/s] we mounted the two horses and [s]road[/s] rode south. We [s]road on the southern road[/s] traveled for several hours before coming upon another macabre sight.

It looked very similar to the ruins of Descara. [colon] Bodies tossed everywhere, buildings burning, and no one alive.

“A couple days, why?”

“We need to ride straight for it. We might reach it before they do.” She nodded and [s]starting galloping her horse[/s] encouraged her horse onward at a gallop.

Parts of the inner city were scorching, but most of it was [s]up[/s] still standing. [s]We could tell that it was attacked by dragons because[/s] the wooden palisade was still up and the outskirts of the city weren’t ravaged at all--the dragons must have paid a visit to this town as well.

When we got to the gate, [s]an[/s] a guard on the other side shouted, “Prepare to fire. Another one comes.”

“Prove that you are a member of the Emerald Templars and we will let you in, but, no matter what, that thing stays out of [s]this[/s] these walls,” replied the guard.

ug suspenceful, hurry and write next chap hehe, didn't find anything wrong, good work.