Chapter 1 Uncertain Isolation
Numerous forests and thousands of lakes and rivers attached the special charm of the Polish highland and lowland landscapes. A place I now call home. I have to work hard to make ends meet but it is a life I rather have. I would choose money problems any day over the death and destruction of the last few months. It saw me lose my Dad, so clever, witty, the perfect man. I lost the girl I loved, which left me feeling empty, like I had nothing to live for. Sure I had my friends but I could not bare losing anymore of them, I did the right thing. I am sure of that. For the first time in a while I even fell, well feel happy. All I feel now is the weight of the day.
I may be staying in a quite dirty working class B&B in a small village called Debrowa Wielka, an unbelievably beautiful place. The air smells clean the water from the river tastes fresh. It was my small piece of heaven on Earth. I work as a labourer, building extensions etc. Everyday is a hard day of work; all of sudden rivers in my Geography lessons did not look too bad. My boss, well he is not the nicest of guy’s to put it kindly but he puts the roof over my head and pays me so I cannot complain. His name was Fillip Michalski, short hair middle height and in all honesty not very clever. I had worked for his father for a month of two, a tru gentlemen who would help me at every corner. He was old and wise and helped me adapt to life here but when he died of a stroke I knew it was going to become more difficult. Fillip had never liked me, he thought his father adored me which fuelled jealousy and anger inside of him.
His wife Justyna I think was the only reason I still had this job. She was so kind hearted and deserved so much betters then this selfish ignorant moron. She had been like a big sister to me, she must have been pretty magic to convince him not to sack me. He had decreased my pay and rose my work load the swine however I just took it on the chin life could have been worse if you know what I mean, I still preferred this to what happened before I was here, So life was just bobbling along I woke up I ate bitter overcooked toast, I worked endlessly for little pay and then drank a tasteless chicken soup and then it happened, once again my life was turned upside down.
by Ste 
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, that's an interesting conundrum that's being addressed there...that sounds like a loot of trauma for a single person to have to deal with, that much is quite evident there and well...you do certainly feel for this person when you think about just how much this person appears to have lost in their life...and top of that they are also having a fairly tough life financially along with all this mental trauma.
Okay, things are continuing onto a bit of a general description of the setting here and the kind of situation that his person here appears to be in...I like how you're taking the time to really bring across the type of life that this person here has to live and how this person manages to get by. I think the introduction to the boss there, while useful, perhaps went on for a touch too long. I think that could benefit from being cut a bit shorter there.
Alright, well first of all, I'm loving that cliffhanger, certainly leaves you expecting things to come...and that's definitely makes me want to read more of this story to find out what it was that caused such a flip in this person's life. At the same time the whole tirade about the boss' treatment of him and the boss' wife's kindness is a bit of an odd direction to take this in...but, I don't mind that too much, the worst part is how this dislike here isn't clearly portrayed in the earlier part about the boss, not to mention I think all the information about the boss should've been in the same paragraph or at least two paragraph, one the boss and then the wife, but not the whole general information part being attached to the boss paragraph if you get what I mean there.
Overall, this isn't bad, its a decent start, but there are a few areas that need a little bit of work.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I think you're having trouble with tense in this chapter. You keep flipping between past and present. I think that's because your narrator is speaking in the future about the past, so it can get confusing. However,I think you want to be using past tense in most cases. Other than that you've done a nice job telling us about the kind of life your protagonist leads.
Hi Steve! I have arrived!
To make you an evull review. Lol.
The red word should be "true".Well, this chapter, I like it. I think you wrote a great description, and made it entertaining. I like the fact that it's short. Personally, I think the first chapter shouldn't be too long, and you managed to make it short without lacking information, to my understanding. Kudos!
Though, it does lack some commas. XD You re-read it and add them, especially in the first paragraph. Don't hurt their feelings.
And, I also spotted two typos:
It should be "than".
That's all! Keep Writing!
~Solly<3