I wrote this many years ago, and my song writing has improved since then. I realize there's a lot of spots that sound weird, and those were all courtesy of a younger me. This was the height of my song writing skills when I was younger and now it's not horrible but it's not good either. I figured I should post it since review day is coming up and I haven't posted anything in a while. Just please be nice:)
Here's the album art I made for it. I got the picture from Google and I edited it and added the words, so it's was only half made by me. The picture itself belongs Google. And I crossed out my name because I didn't want anyone to know it:)
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139,327 Literary Works • 672,532 Reviews
you're really good
Hi
You said some parts were weird, well the only part I found weird was the bees part- it was so random!
Oh and if I were you I would change the bees part and the cake part, but then again you might want to leave it in there as a bit of a memory. Good job, - Rachel
Can I just say I know exactly how you feel reading back on old lyrics... haha sometimes I cringe at my own. But I think this is really good
I think, yeah, there's a certain immaturity to it all but the whole song overall is good and there's great parts which I'm sure you will have taken with you to your older self writing, almost by a process of natural selection. It has a really good feeling/emotion/theme/what ever you want to call it behind it and the chorus is also really good. Well done
This was really something I'm gald I cane across it. Kepp it up this was a really nice piece.
Helloo fellow greener stargazer!! *does the secret green handshake* XD
I will try to give you good review on this, but please forgive me if this is not helpful at all =)
I want to start off with saying that I like this song. It's always sad when people break up because they've found someone else and you have really captured those feelings in this song.
And here are the little nitpicks:
The end of this sentence just doesn't really work for me. Maybe change it a little? =)
Maybe take one 'joy' out, because it sounds kind of too repetitive. But maybe that's just me
I think I'll should be all
But other than that this is a really nice song and I really enjoyed reading this! I hoped this helped a little
Owh btw: I really like the cover for it! Nice work!
Keep writing!
-qaralynn-
This is really good. I didn't find anything particularly wrong with it. Nice job =]