z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Wire Fraud Tutorial (Fake based on a movie)

by srt


  1. Get a bank log from a trusted site (Make sure the info is right)
  2. Do your research the information must be right
  3. Dont sit around trying to get high be on point
  4. Hit a big play dont get packed up for no petty lick
  5. Dont log in through the phone
  6. Get an RDP Server
  7. Change your location to their home(Comes with their IP)
  8. Plug it in the server
  9. Find out if they have verizon or sprit
  10. Then call the company and sim swap that shit
  11. Then you will get the calls and texts they will get
  12. Now once you do this youll have the account
  13. Dont get excited when you see the amount stay on go
  14. Dont wire all the money out just yet theres a certain way you have to do it
  15. Dont fuck up the play
  16. Get a runner you can wire all the money too
  17. Break them off a good amount they gonna want money too
  18. You might need them for another play so let them run in for you
  19. So now you have Sim Swapped, Got a runner, & Got a bank
  20. Some banks be asking hella questions so this might be hard to do
  21. But remember like Dev says its hard being a worker so suck it up
  22. Send the wire out to the runners bank
  23. If you did all these steps itll work like a peice of cake
  24. Now wipe down all the money they made
  25. Now the money is yours unless you somehow fucked this up
  26. Make sure to hit it while you can because the hams quick to burn it
  27. Have a runner inside and tell them to withdraw all the pay
  28. If its a big play (should be)
  29. Have somebody wait outside the bank so they dont run off
  30. Congratulations! You can now make 25k+ Enjoy that play

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1227 Reviews

Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227

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Sun Oct 01, 2023 1:22 am
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alliyah wrote a review...



Ha! I like that you clarified in the title that this isn't actually your scheme for wire-fraud. What movie is this based on? Quite an interesting poem you've got here, would love a little more background to understand!

My suggestions:

You've got a few spots where you're missing apostrophes that make the piece feel a little unfinished. I don't necessarily mind the lack of capitalization (verizon / sprint) because it creates a more casual / humorous tone, but the lack of apostrophes, just make the piece read a bit unclearly / messy to me.

I feel like you've got sort of a story / narrative you are trying to tell through the list, which a great and unique strategy for a literary piece, though right now, feels a little hard to follow I have to say and could use just a little bit more clarity on what exactly is going on.

I think something you did excellent with is the sense of "voice" within the piece - it felt very much like an organic conversation or set of directions, rather than a formal list, and came across as sort of funny and over the top especially due to some of the ways you phrased things like "Break them off a good amount they gonna want money too" those little asides added a lot of humor and character to the piece in my opinion.

I'm going to point out some of the more distracting apostrophe skips in case that's helpful for you!

Dont

Used quite a few times in here; should be "don't"

Change your location to their home(Comes with their IP)

Missing a "space" between "home" & "come"

Find out if they have verizon or sprit

I think you mean "Sprint" rather than "sprit"

youll

Should be "you'll"

theres

should be "there's"

So now you have Sim Swapped, Got a runner, & Got a bank

no need to capitalize "swapped" or "sim" here.

But remember like Dev says its hard being a worker so suck it up
If its a big play (should be)

its -> "it's"

If you did all these steps itll work like a peice of cake

itll -> "it'll" and "peice" -> "piece"


Hope that helps a bit! Keep writing!

alliyah




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210 Reviews

Points: 10015
Reviews: 210

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Sat Sep 30, 2023 2:15 am
EllieMae wrote a review...



Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

(GREETING & INTRODUCTION)
Well, here I am. Ellie here for a review of "Wire Fraud Tutorial (Fake based on a movie)". To be clear, I have no interest in wire fraud lol but you know, it was in the green room and i wanted to write a review haha. I'll be treating this like any other poem. Let's get right in to it:

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
(CONTENT - my impressions / interpretation)
Well, my first impression was confusion. Is this a poem? What is the meaning and why is it here? I was a little shocked when I saw something titled "Wire Fraud Tutorial (Fake based on a movie)" in the green room. Simply, my impression is that this is directions to commit some kind of crime and make money.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
(CONTENT - include specific suggestions)
The format is interesting. Maybe I'll write a numbered poem some day. Inspiring! Some of the language is hard to understand. I don't follow along with the directions very well. Some of the steps seemed quite... all or nothing... (changing some of the language), "dont mess up the play" is quite a demand to make.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
(CONTENT - include specific praises)
well... its a new topic to me. I dont read that everyday. Welcome to YWS!

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts

Like I said, welcome to YWS! I hope to read some of your poetry in the future!
-Ellie Mae





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